What Makes Negative People So Negative?(1) By Dr. Michael Brooks
I was listening to a negative friend of mine talk at a lunch we attended with several friends. He was down on so many things in life including his friends, his job and life in general. He complained about the world and the weather and anything on the news..he didn’t miss a beat with his negativity. I kept thinking about this man and the miserable life he said that he had. His whole life was centered about being negative and downcast. I rarely ever saw him happy about anything. I saw him work a room with his negativity. People that arrived happy to an event he attended usually left quietly and avoided him. Do you have people like that in your life?
These kind of people can suck the life right out of you. They may not know it, but you sure do. And more often than not you avoid these kind of folks even if their your close family or good friends. So where do you find these kind of people? well they may be co-workers, family members, close friends, church friends and even friends in school. They come on all shapes, sizes gender and ages. They may be your parents, might be a club member, they can be anyone in your life.
What makes negative people so negative? Well my guess is many failures in life starting in someone’s childhood. I have seen it start with kids pickup games in grade school. I’m sure you can remember when you would get a group of kids trying to pick sides for a softball or kickball game. Usually the best players were picked first and the unskilled kids we’ll were picked last. I can tell you from my past experiences, I was always picked last in basketball, but in touch football or softball picked first…so I know the feeling of last picked and being first picked. When I was last picked it was pretty devastating at times. Let’s face it not all of us are good at every sport. But it does have an impact on kids that carry on into adult life. Being negative starts pretty young in life. If someone falls on hard times and they don’t get needed help from family or friends this can fuel into becoming negative. I’ve known people who reached out for any kind of help and not one person came to their aid. This rejection from family and friends creates negativity as well. So in my humble opinion I believe that rejection, anger, disappointments, un-met expatiations from people create a perfect environment for being negative.
This is just an opinion but I think some folks are just outright scared to confront a negative person. They don’t want the hassle of a verbal fight or being challenged. They don’t want to be embarrassed by a negative person who will continue the fight. Most negative people have a tendency to exaggerate or focus on their negativity, and ignore anything positive. When they become negative with you, don’t enforce their being negative by arguing with them. Just defuse the situation by non-committal responses. Like “OK” or “I see” it works very well. The less you argue with negative people the better. This keeps you out of their line of fire. That is a key point to remember “don’t argue with negative people about their negativity.” You will get absolutely nowhere by arguing with them.
In next week’s article I will be giving you some tips on how to deal with these negative people in your life or someone that you may know.
Do you need help in dealing with a negative person in your life, it could be a family member, friend or even a co-worker? Are you a negative person who needs help in eliminating a negative thoughts and actions? Are you struggling with trying to eliminate a negative person out of your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions please give Dr. Mike a call he can help you find solutions to some of these questions. Call him at 303.456.0555 today!
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.
Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services