How Important Is Your Integrity (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

How Important is Your Integrity? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue on with our Integrity series and todays series we will be talking about breaking confidences with the people you know. I know for some people it’s tempting to betray someone’s confidence when they get into trouble. What do you mean you may ask? Well, let’s look at someone who might know of an inside secret about a job posting. You’re supposed to keep it confidential yet you tell your good friend about the posting and the word gets out about the posting through your friend although it’s supposed to be confidential. Yet when your friend is asked who told them about the job posting? Either the friend says nothing or exposes you to keep out of trouble. That’s what I am talking about keeping confidences. Have you been tempted to talk about someone behind their back? I think we all can say “guilty as charged.” This is one of the worst offenses people don’t tolerate very well. I have a saying that I like to use “remember the rumors you hear about me are as true as the ones I hear about you.” Stop gossip in its tracks. This is a vital part of integrity that people admire and want to have in their lives. What is the point of talking about people behind their backs? Does it benefit you by slandering someone? Does it make you appear the better person when talking or gossiping about someone? I hope not. Many friendships have been ruined by a gossip as many family relationships. If you have to talk about someone, do it in front of them. That would be the best way to deal with it. Most people would never gossip in front of their victims. Wonder why? The gossiper would get an ear full. Just don’t gossip and avoid the hassle that goes with it. If you don’t have anything to say in a positive manner, don’t say anything. It’s that simple folks. Be in control of your tongue at all times. Integrity in how you talk about others is key to being a trusted friend. • Don’t be known as a gossip in your sphere of influence • Stop gossip in its tracks, don’t repeat what people say and confront them if their sharing information about anyone • Remember whatever is whispered in secret will be shouted from the rooftops • Encourage wholesome and uplifting conversation with your children and those you know • Gossip destroys family, friendships and marriage relationships • Learn to walk away from a gossip at all times • Gossip is unhealthy to the soul • Perhaps the surest test of an individual’s integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect. Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555 Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on February 17, 2016 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Divorce and Separation, Marriage Relationships, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional and College Athletes, Relationships

Are The Holidays Tough on You? By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are the Holidays Tough on You? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I remember when growing up as a kid that the Christmas season was pretty exciting. Most kids don’t have a care in the world. Their world consists of friends, playing games, what’s for dinner, and when do we get to open presents? You knew that you’d be seeing distant family members sometime during the Christmas break. Maybe you’d have an Uncle Arnie like I did that would be there, he was the black sheep of the family, but always was your favorite uncle. He loved you because you paid attention to him and you were his only reason he came by the house to spend time with the family. The TV was on and you watched movies like “Its A Wonderful Life.” “The Christmas Story.” The entire family would enjoy Christmas dinner around the table together laughing and joking around. That’s the pretty side of Christmas, the one that’s represented on a yule tide Christmas cards. It’s the Christmas image we all would like to have with snow falling and a cup of hot chocolate.

But for many people that’s not the Christmas they will enjoy this year. They have lost a loved one, they have gone through a divorce or separation. A once beautiful friendship was lost because of a bitter disagreement or someone moved away. A family member only has a short time to live and this family will be at the hospital or hospice sharing a last Christmas together.

For most of us adults, there is some sadness associated with this time of year. I think having family helps us deal with some of the faded memories we often have of lost loved ones. Maybe our parents who were really into Christmas, with their decorating, making cookies, hanging Christmas lights, and like my dad would belt out a Bing Crosby “Dreaming of a White Christmas,” and we’d all chime in and sing along. Sometimes there are good things to think about and sometimes they can a haunting memory of Christmas past.

In any case, be on the lookout for someone that is spending Christmas alone. Invite them over for a meal and present them with a small gift or gift card. That could mean the world to someone spending Christmas alone. The difference that would make for the lonely and brokenhearted person you know could mean life or death of their spirit.

The joy of helping others goes a long way for you personally. Just knowing that you’re making a difference in someone’s life and their family is a feel good moment. Have you ever thought, how can I help someone during Christmas? Here are a few ideas for you to ponder:

· If you know of a family struggling, offer to buy their kids presents.
· If you know of a family in your community or church, get them a gift certificate for groceries in your local grocery store.
· Offer to run errands for someone that is ill that you know.
· Make cookies or treats for a family in need.
· If you know of a family that has children and you know that they have limited income, buy a movie gift card for the entire family.
· Take a family out to dinner.

These are just a few ideas that you can reach out to those in need in your sphere of influence. It will take some time on your part but well worth the effort in bringing joy in other people’s lives.

Are you struggling with the loss of a family member, spouse or friends and are having a difficult time moving forward? Is Christmas so painful that you dread this time of year and need help in getting past the holidays? Are you hurting over a divorce or are separated and need to talk to someone about the pain you’re experiencing? Do you need help in planning how to get through the holidays? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call he can help you get through the holidays.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on December 10, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Divorce and Separation, Marriage Relationships, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional Accountability Coaching, Regrets in Life, Relationships

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I can remember when I was 5 years old getting into big trouble with my parents. I found my mom’s scissors and started to cut my own hair. There was several bald spots and hair all over the bathroom sink. After cutting my hair I found a tube of red lipstick in the bathroom and decided that I wanted to look like a clown and made big red circles on my cheeks and chin. I then added the red nose for good measure. I was supposed to be watched by my older brother Bob who decided he wanted to go to a friend’s house. My mom and dad walked in the door and my mom screamed in horror when she saw me. “Where’s your older brother” she asked? I looked at her and said “I don’t know.” My dad was trying to keep a straight face, but looked sternly at me. My mom walked back into the living room and reminded me that tomorrow was the day I was supposed to have my school pictures taken.

I suppose that my mom and dad could have just lost it and spanked me. They didn’t…I sat and listened to my dad telling me that the scissors were dangerous and was told that I should ask permission to use them next time. My mom was very understanding and tried to clean me up from the lipstick. I’m sure some of you are wondering about the school pictures. I went and had them taken…in the picture you can still see the faint outlines of circles on my cheeks and chin and a very faint red nose. And the hair, well that couldn’t be hidden very well. It’s out there for everyone to see.

Now teenagers are a different breed of how your words are spoken. You have to be careful in how you say things to them. They can be sensitive and take things you say the wrong way. I have seen some terrific teenagers with incredible attitudes. I think parents have a lot of control in how their kids respond to things said to them. If you’re constantly berating your kids I’m afraid that the lack of respect you want from your teenagers is going to be lacking. Kids need someone who will sit down and talk things out with them. Not hearing how stupid, dumb, or childish they act. That will not work in helping kids during their difficult teen years. Be supportive and understanding.
My tips for speaking words of life over your teenagers:

• Ask them to sit down with you when you don’t understand why they do some of the things they do
• Be careful when angry and hold back on what you say to your kids, think about what you’re about to say. You can’t take back words spoken out of anger
• Avoid words such as stupid, dummy, idiot, no good, these promote negative feeling and lack of self-worth
• Try understanding where you child is coming from and talk about their needs, feelings, wants
• If you’re angry with your kids, by all means share why your angry without yelling, screaming, swearing. Be under control at all times.
• Take a timeout for yourself if needed, walk away and think about how you need to regain control and share why your upset.

Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Confrontation, Ethics in Life, Marriage Relationships, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional and College Athletes, Relationships

What Makes Negative People So Negative? By Dr. Michael Brooks(2)

Last week we covered the types of negative people that you may come across. They could be your family members, close friend, even people you work with. This week we will be giving you tools on how to live and deal with these negative people in your life. Who are these negative people in our lives and where do they come from? I see a lot of negativity in marriages, business relationships, immediate families members and close friendships. Let’s look at married couples. Many will fight over some of the remarks from a negative spouse. Area’s that couples will have martial negative discourse is in communication styles, finances, how to raise children, sex, jobs, etc. If you’re the spouse of a negative person there are essential tools that you must have in your tool kit in dealing with them. One of the first things I would encourage you to do is not have a knee jerk reaction to what is said and directed at you.

Have a plan on how to deal with a negative attitude in your spouse or anyone for that matter. Let them know that you want to work on better communication that will reduce negative or critical thinking in the marriage. Have a plan when they start becoming negative in their thinking. You will need address why they are being negative and get their input as to why they said something negative to you and the reason why. This process will take some time but well worth the effort you put into it. You need to be patient as this will take time for both of you to work through this process. Remember most negative people have been angry, disappointed and hurt over a period of time. My tips for dealing with negative people.  Avoid bringing up the N-Negative word and accusing them of being negative..this will only inflame the situation.  Don’t argue with a negative person and try to change them.  Encourage open and honest discussions with a negative person.  If you feel that your talk with a negative person is not going well, end your discussion and move on.  Turn your talk with a negative person into a positive one.  Negative tend to blame others for their problems instead of accepting any responsibility for their actions..understand this concept.  If you need to talk to someone about a negative friend, talk to someone you can trust and will not gossip or share what you’ve talked about.  Always encourage a negative person, praise them when they do things that are helpful or nice for you or others.  Send positive notes, or make phones calls that are encouraging to your negative friend. These actions are helpful and can at least get you headed in the right direction when dealing with a negative individual. I like to invite negative people to my BBQ’s at the house. I ask all kinds of people to attend, people from work, different back grounds, different hobbies and add the negative person to the mix. It’s amazing that the negative person seems to so busy meeting people there is no time to be negative or critical of others. They walked away feeling pretty good about themselves and meeting new people. It’s worth a shot to try. Do you need help in dealing with a negative person in your life, it could be a family member, friend or even a co-worker? Are you a negative person who needs help in eliminating a negative thoughts and actions? Are you struggling with trying to eliminate a negative person out of your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions please give Dr. Mike a call he can help you find solutions to some of these questions. Call him at 303.456.0555 today! Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most. Dr. Michael Brooks Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services Web: www.applicablecoaching.com Blog: https://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/ Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/ E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com Office: 303.456.0555 Cell: 303.880.9878

Posted on August 11, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Confrontation, Divorce and Separation, Divorce Coaching, Marriage Relationships, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional Accountability Coaching, Relationships

What Makes Negative People So Negative? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

What Makes Negative People So Negative?(1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I was listening to a negative friend of mine talk at a lunch we attended with several friends. He was down on so many things in life including his friends, his job and life in general. He complained about the world and the weather and anything on the news..he didn’t miss a beat with his negativity. I kept thinking about this man and the miserable life he said that he had. His whole life was centered about being negative and downcast. I rarely ever saw him happy about anything. I saw him work a room with his negativity. People that arrived happy to an event he attended usually left quietly and avoided him. Do you have people like that in your life?

These kind of people can suck the life right out of you. They may not know it, but you sure do. And more often than not you avoid these kind of folks even if their your close family or good friends. So where do you find these kind of people? well they may be co-workers, family members, close friends, church friends and even friends in school. They come on all shapes, sizes gender and ages. They may be your parents, might be a club member, they can be anyone in your life.

What makes negative people so negative? Well my guess is many failures in life starting in someone’s childhood. I have seen it start with kids pickup games in grade school. I’m sure you can remember when you would get a group of kids trying to pick sides for a softball or kickball game. Usually the best players were picked first and the unskilled kids we’ll were picked last. I can tell you from my past experiences, I was always picked last in basketball, but in touch football or softball picked first…so I know the feeling of last picked and being first picked. When I was last picked it was pretty devastating at times. Let’s face it not all of us are good at every sport. But it does have an impact on kids that carry on into adult life. Being negative starts pretty young in life. If someone falls on hard times and they don’t get needed help from family or friends this can fuel into becoming negative. I’ve known people who reached out for any kind of help and not one person came to their aid. This rejection from family and friends creates negativity as well. So in my humble opinion I believe that rejection, anger, disappointments, un-met expatiations from people create a perfect environment for being negative.

This is just an opinion but I think some folks are just outright scared to confront a negative person. They don’t want the hassle of a verbal fight or being challenged. They don’t want to be embarrassed by a negative person who will continue the fight. Most negative people have a tendency to exaggerate or focus on their negativity, and ignore anything positive. When they become negative with you, don’t enforce their being negative by arguing with them. Just defuse the situation by non-committal responses. Like “OK” or “I see” it works very well. The less you argue with negative people the better. This keeps you out of their line of fire. That is a key point to remember “don’t argue with negative people about their negativity.” You will get absolutely nowhere by arguing with them.
In next week’s article I will be giving you some tips on how to deal with these negative people in your life or someone that you may know.

Do you need help in dealing with a negative person in your life, it could be a family member, friend or even a co-worker? Are you a negative person who needs help in eliminating a negative thoughts and actions? Are you struggling with trying to eliminate a negative person out of your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions please give Dr. Mike a call he can help you find solutions to some of these questions. Call him at 303.456.0555 today!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: https://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

Posted on July 21, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Ethics in Life, Marriage Relationships, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional Accountability Coaching, Professional and College Athletes, Relationships

Electronic Devices Are Messing With Our Kids By Dr. Michael Brooks

I had a divorced mother call me a while back and wanted to know how to control her son who was addicted to his electronic games/phone. He was withdrawn and spent a great deal of his time avoiding people. He used his games on his computer and cell phone to pass the day away and his mother was concerned. This is a common problem for most parents today. Try sitting in any restaurant and see what’s happening at the table beside you. The parent is usually looking at their cell phone and the kid is playing games on his electronic devices. There is no communication whatsoever.

I can remember growing up when kids parents would keep tabs on what they were doing. Mom and dad knew what was going on in the inside the house and outside as well. I don’t see that so much now. With the electronics that are available to kids these days is amazing. You can find the kids in their bedrooms laying on their bed for hours playing all kinds of games. Parents don’t have to go very far to find them in the house. Unfortunately most parents don’t know what kinds of games their kids are playing. I have heard from parents themselves that some of these games are so violent that they are worried about the effects they are having on their children.

Parents need to take control of all electronics their kids own or use. This does not only apply to electronic games, but their computers (Internet), cell phones, television shows and videos. Too many parents are trusting their kids with the things they watch or play. A random courtesy check is appropriate and necessary to make sure your kids are not getting themselves into trouble. Some parents restrict the time their kids are on the computer or watching television. I think that is a great idea. I know we are living in the electronic age, I get that! But there needs to be time for any family to sit down and interact with each other instead of being glued to the computer screen or the television screen.

You can’t develop family relationships when the your kids best friend is a fictional character on some video game. Kids will often withdrawal from family dinners, or are so preoccupied with their electronics on family vacations that they have no family connection or attend any planned events. It’s hard to believe some parents are perfectly OK with this kind of behavior. If you’re a parent who is sick and tired of your kids being addicted to their electronic games take heed. You may need to set boundaries with your children when it comes to electronics. Here are my tips to help you regain control of outta control kids on electronics.
limit the time you will allow your kids to play with their computers or smart phones (set boundaries for your children).

Have a curfew when lights go out and electronics are shut down.
Time outs can apply with all their electronics.
No smart phone or games while eating meals with family.
Home work first, chores second, then some time playing games or being on the smart phone.
If you’ve been disrespected or your set rules have been broken..take privileges away.
Poor grades, or poor attendance..good reason to take video games/phone away.

These are pretty simple rules to follow and they will help set your expectations for your kids. Stick to the game plan and your kids should follow your ground rules. Be consistent and remind the children there are consequences for bad behavior. Electronics can be very useful in helping kids learn school projects and doing homework…as long as it’s not abused.

Are you children unable to break away from their electronic devices and you need help in making that happen. Does you child avoid eating meals with you because of the games they are playing? If you answered yes to any of these questions..call Dr. Mike he can help you.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on July 15, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Confrontation, Dr. Mike's Rants, Ethics in Life, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional Accountability Coaching, Regrets in Life, Relationships

Accepting Responsibility For Your Life By Dr. Michael Brooks

Accepting Responsibility For Your Life By Dr. Michael Brooks

How often have you looked at the people that you know and wonder how in the world do these people get themselves into so much trouble? Look at all the professional athletes who find themselves in trouble. There is no accountability partner for their actions. Most people let them get away with their bad behavior and chalk it up to entitlement privileges.

It’s the same with entertainers. Look at Miley Ray Cyrus, she was a role model for many of our kids several years ago through Disney Productions. Many are wondering what happened to her? Many of her video productions are sexual in nature and not for children. She doesn’t seem to care whatsoever. She flips it in your face.

Look at some of our politicians today. We vote them in because we either trust them or pick the lessor of two evils. Yet, they fail us on a daily basis. I’m talking about both democrats and republicans.

I look back growing up and any mistakes that I made, I learned from them. I was responsible for all my actions. I didn’t blame others like so many do today. Its so easy to see that adults today blame their circumstances on their parents. If only I had or my parents would have done things differently. I hear so many stories with the clients I work with. Let’s face it, it’s pretty easy to blame others for the mistakes we make and many will accept that as an acceptable answer.

Blaming others seems to be the norm these days. Its up to you to make the necessary changes to have a better life. I will tell you it takes hard work to get anywhere these days. Nothing will be handed to you. Have a plan and go for it. Accept the responsibility for all your actions, good or bad. Sometimes life can be hard and life can be difficult. You have to realize that you are ultimately responsible for your own life and your own actions. You don’t want to be at the mercy of others who don’t always have your best interests at heart. You need to fend for yourself. My tips for accepting responsibility for yourself:

Don’t assume others will understand your actions or the intent
Immediately be responsible for all your actions
Don’t blame others for your screw-ups
If you need help in correcting your bad behavior get it
Speak truthfully when admitting your wrongs
Being responsible means being honest
The best advice I can give you is always be up front when taking responsibility for your actions. It will pay off in the long run.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on June 30, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Divorce and Separation, Divorce Coaching, Ethics in Life, Marriage Relationships, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional Accountability Coaching, Regrets in Life, Relationships