The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

You want to create good memories of what your children think of you and how you are setting an example of how they will raise their families when they are on their own. Kids today live in a world of mass confusion. Why? It’s the electronics, mass media, the internet and so much more. Be kind in what you say to your kids. Be a parent and not a best friend. Be in control of your feelings at all times.



Your words give life and death in your marriage, did you know that? Well they do and men and women need to know that. In the age of easy divorces and separations you really need to know the right words that help you build up each other.

What words do most divorcing and separated couples use against each other. Remember your words mean life and death to your marriage! One of the biggest death words in a marriage spiraling out of control is “lack of communication” avoiding talking with each other because you’re angry. You want to punish the other person by avoiding speaking or seeing them. I want to encourage you if this is your style of inflicting pain on your spouse it’s a recipe for disaster.

In your anger don’t say anything that your spouse will take personally. Don’t say anything about their physical appearance. Don’t be critical about their weight, being bald, the way they dress, the way they do their hair. Avoid going down this road. You may think it funny and say they don’t care what you say about their appearance…trust me it’s a deep painful reminder each and every time you say it. If you have done this in the past you owe your spouse an apology and never say it again. Words can kill a marriage or any relationship for that matter.

Don’t talk bad about your in-laws, another marriage word killer. Stay away and avoid doing this. You being married to your spouse and talking negatively about your spouse’s family can be a mine field for you and have some bad consequences for your marriage. I keep repeating myself here..if you don’t have anything good to say about your in-laws, then don’t say anything at all. I have seen some big arguments in my office from a spouse who has been critical towards their in-laws. I think sitting down with your spouse and explaining why you feel the way you do would go a long way in preventing issues with spouse and your in-laws. Finding faults with in-laws can be a problem for the entire family. State your reasons why you feel the way you do and talk to your spouse about them. Being constantly critical of your in-laws and not offering a resolution to fix the problem is unhealthy for your marriage. Ask yourself, do I have valid points or am I just wanting to complain about my in-laws?

Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I can remember when I was 5 years old getting into big trouble with my parents. I found my mom’s scissors and started to cut my own hair. There was several bald spots and hair all over the bathroom sink. After cutting my hair I found a tube of red lipstick in the bathroom and decided that I wanted to look like a clown and made big red circles on my cheeks and chin. I then added the red nose for good measure. I was supposed to be watched by my older brother Bob who decided he wanted to go to a friend’s house. My mom and dad walked in the door and my mom screamed in horror when she saw me. “Where’s your older brother” she asked? I looked at her and said “I don’t know.” My dad was trying to keep a straight face, but looked sternly at me. My mom walked back into the living room and reminded me that tomorrow was the day I was supposed to have my school pictures taken.

I suppose that my mom and dad could have just lost it and spanked me. They didn’t…I sat and listened to my dad telling me that the scissors were dangerous and was told that I should ask permission to use them next time. My mom was very understanding and tried to clean me up from the lipstick. I’m sure some of you are wondering about the school pictures. I went and had them taken…in the picture you can still see the faint outlines of circles on my cheeks and chin and a very faint red nose. And the hair, well that couldn’t be hidden very well. It’s out there for everyone to see.

Now teenagers are a different breed of how your words are spoken. You have to be careful in how you say things to them. They can be sensitive and take things you say the wrong way. I have seen some terrific teenagers with incredible attitudes. I think parents have a lot of control in how their kids respond to things said to them. If you’re constantly berating your kids I’m afraid that the lack of respect you want from your teenagers is going to be lacking. Kids need someone who will sit down and talk things out with them. Not hearing how stupid, dumb, or childish they act. That will not work in helping kids during their difficult teen years. Be supportive and understanding.
My tips for speaking words of life over your teenagers:

• Ask them to sit down with you when you don’t understand why they do some of the things they do
• Be careful when angry and hold back on what you say to your kids, think about what you’re about to say. You can’t take back words spoken out of anger
• Avoid words such as stupid, dummy, idiot, no good, these promote negative feeling and lack of self-worth
• Try understanding where you child is coming from and talk about their needs, feelings, wants
• If you’re angry with your kids, by all means share why your angry without yelling, screaming, swearing. Be under control at all times.
• Take a timeout for yourself if needed, walk away and think about how you need to regain control and share why your upset.

Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week I will be giving you some tips that will help you understand why your words make can make a big impact on someone that may be down and struggling with personal issues. It’s pretty easy to avoid that someone you know that is always down. They keep struggling with life itself and can’t seem to get out of the hole they dug for themselves.

I always try to be uplifting and upbeat with everyone I meet. I noticed one day an old friend who was walking by my house. He seemed out of it and staring at the sidewalk as he moved down the street. I called out to him and walked over and talked with him. At first he seemed distant but then started to open up as we spoke. I invited him in for a soda and we talked for a few hours. I heard about his struggles, job loss, failed marriage. I just listened and when he was finished I told him how valuable he was to me and how I appreciated his friendship. I told him that he was loved by many and how he added value to their lives. I spoke the truth to him in a very positive way. Did I make a difference by speaking words of life into this broken man’s world? Read on…

I received a note from this man taped to my door. “Dear Mike, I want to thank you for taking the time to sit down and talk with me. Your encouraging words saved my life. I was on my way home to kill myself when you stopped me and listened to my world of hurt. Had you not walked over and spoke with me I was ready to end it all. Thank you for reaching out to me with your kind words they saved my life.”

Realize what you say to others in your life does make a difference. Don’t be afraid to reach out and say good things to people in need. You may never know who these people are but your words of encouragement breathe life into someone’s broken world.

• When you’re angry avoid speaking negative words
• Avoid confrontational conversations that create harsh words
• Speak truthfully but with compassion and understanding
• If you don’t have anything nice to say keep to yourself
• Be an encourager and know the words you speak can discourage or encourage people
• The words you use can change a person’s way they feel about themselves
• Once you speak and the critical words are out there you can’t take them back
• Constant criticism deflates a persons self-worth
• Be known as an encourager to your sphere of influence
• Ask the person that you’re speaking to if they understand your point of view
• Try being positive when speaking to children or teenagers
• Reach out to people who need encouraging words

These are simple tips that work and will help you speak life into the people’s lives that you are involved with. We have so many negative and critical people in our lives today that we can’t buy into their way of thinking. A kind word goes a long way in today’s world.

I think parents need to be less critical with their children and expose them to encouraging and uplifting words. I know how easy it is when parents get frustrated with their kids and start blasting away with angry words. We’ve all been there but the damage it causes can be devastating to our young children. If you feel that you’re starting to go down the road of condescending rhetoric then take a time out for yourself and rely on the game plan that you put together. This will head off the regrets of saying unpleasant words to your children. We know that our kids know how to push our buttons, but don’t allow them to do it. Speak life into your kids with encouraging words not harsh ones.

We have to remember that kids make plenty of mistakes growing up and to be understanding about that. I would love to see parents who sit down with their children and explain why mistakes should be learning lessons and not a time to be harsh and critical with them. Patience is very important when teaching our kids the right way to do things.

Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Have guidelines set in place, when you have that face to face meeting you will get to the heart of the matter without using hurting words to put your spouse down to prove a point. I believe that uplifting and encouraging words get much better results than your negative and condescending words. Keep in mind how you like to be spoken to. Most of us would rather be talked to in a civil and respectful manner. Always keep in mind that you have to be in control in what you say to someone or how you should respond to them.

I had a friend of mine who wanted his wife to learn how to shoot a handgun. They went to a shooting range so she could learn the basics of target shooting. I watched as he worked with her. He was getting frustrated by the minute as he tried to teach her to shoot a 22 pistol. He was being negative in his words and very condescending towards her. He said to her “our 10 year old son could figure this out, why can’t you?” this isn’t that hard he scolded her. She was extremely frustrated and said that she just wanted to go home. He was at his wits end. The range master heard what was going on and walked over to my friend and asked if he could help her. My buddy said “certainly, you’ll have no better luck then I did.”

I have to say the range master spoke encouraging words and worked with her step by step and she responded very well to his way of saying things to her. He didn’t berate her or speak negatively to her. She actually did a great job and was very comfortable in the way he taught her to shoot. This made all the difference in the world the way she was spoken to. Remember the way you speak to the people in your life is important in the way they respond to you. If you’re speaking positive words and uplifting words to those people you interact with you can expect to be treated well. On the other hand if your words are critical and negative you can expect poor results in most of your expectations and communication with that person and lack of respect towards you.

I watched a mother playing with her Down syndrome daughter at a park one day. The child was about 6 or 7 years of age. The mother was laughing while trying to teach her daughter how to sing (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) they both giggled, smiled and the mother never gave up. The daughter was enjoying the connection she had with her mother. Could you imagine if the mother was harsh towards the daughter while teaching her to learn this simple song? I would like to give you some of my tips on how impactful your words can be towards others in your life like your spouse, family, friends, and co-workers.
Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Last week I gave you some tips on how to deal with a negative person in your life. This week’s tips will be for those of you who feel that you’re negative in the way you communicate with others. These are very practical tips and can help many of you with negative thoughts and the way you speak to others.

I had a friend of mine who was always being negative and complaining about people he knew that got divorced. He could always find fault with the women who started the divorce process. His wife filed on him and he was a bitter man at the start of his divorce. He had anger problems, was physically and emotionally abusive. He complained about her and the things she didn’t do around the home, and with their kids. I can’t imagine living with someone who always complained.

I’m sure this is one of the reasons she filed for divorce. When they got divorced he moved to a small town 30 miles away from his wife and kids and started dating several women. He never could stay in a committed relationship. He would come over to my office and start complaining and become very resentful and negative about the women he was trying to date. He dated at least 20 women over a two year period and failed at every attempt to find love. Why? These women couldn’t deal with his being negative and critical.

If you’re wanting a healthy and satisfying relationship then you have to stop your being negative around people. You take ownership of your behavior around people. If you feel like you’re starting to become negative..take a personal timeout and start looking at the reason you’re being negative towards others.

Negative people ultimately destroy most relationships their involved in. If you’re a negative person and know it, here are some tips for you when you feel like you’re starting to become negative.

 Be open and honest with the people that you’re talking to and let them know that you want to stop being negative and critical and ask them to be a good support system for you.
 Sometimes YOU may have to walk away from someone who is goading you into a verbal confrontation. They like to spar with you and cause a problem between you and others.
 If you owe people apologies, then make a phone call or meet them one on one and apologize. Try to heal old wounds you have caused because of your negative attitude.
 If you need to attend a support group by all means find one in your area. They can help you find solutions for being negative and answers on how to deal with it.

Again, if you’re the one who is a negative person and know that you have negative issues then get the help you need. Most people who are negative have no clue that they are negative. They feel that most others are the problem and not them. Next week I will be giving you tips on how to eliminate those negative people who are difficult for you to be around and communicate with.

Do you need help in dealing with a negative person in your life, it could be a family member, friend or even a co-worker? Are you a negative person who needs help in eliminating a negative thoughts and actions? Are you struggling with trying to eliminate a negative person out of your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions please give Dr. Mike a call he can help you find solutions to some of these questions. Call him at 303.456.0555 today!

Last week we covered the types of negative people that you may come across. They could be your family members, close friend, even people you work with. This week we will be giving you tools on how to live and deal with these negative people in your life. Who are these negative people in our lives and where do they come from? I see a lot of negativity in marriages, business relationships, immediate families members and close friendships. Let’s look at married couples. Many will fight over some of the remarks from a negative spouse. Area’s that couples will have martial negative discourse is in communication styles, finances, how to raise children, sex, jobs, etc. If you’re the spouse of a negative person there are essential tools that you must have in your tool kit in dealing with them. One of the first things I would encourage you to do is not have a knee jerk reaction to what is said and directed at you. Have a plan on how to deal with a negative attitude in your spouse or anyone for that matter. Let them know that you want to work on better communication that will reduce negative or critical thinking in the marriage. Have a plan when they start becoming negative in their thinking. You will need address why they are being negative and get their input as to why they said something negative to you and the reason why. This process will take some time but well worth the effort you put into it. You need to be patient as this will take time for both of you to work through this process. Remember most negative people have been angry, disappointed and hurt over a period of time. My tips for dealing with negative people.  Avoid bringing up the N-Negative word and accusing them of being negative..this will only inflame the situation.  Don’t argue with a negative person and try to change them.  Encourage open and honest discussions with a negative person.  If you feel that your talk with a negative person is not going well, end your discussion and move on.  Turn your talk with a negative person into a positive one.  Negative tend to blame others for their problems instead of accepting any responsibility for their actions..understand this concept.  If you need to talk to someone about a negative friend, talk to someone you can trust and will not gossip or share what you’ve talked about.  Always encourage a negative person, praise them when they do things that are helpful or nice for you or others.  Send positive notes, or make phones calls that are encouraging to your negative friend. These actions are helpful and can at least get you headed in the right direction when dealing with a negative individual. I like to invite negative people to my BBQ’s at the house. I ask all kinds of people to attend, people from work, different back grounds, different hobbies and add the negative person to the mix. It’s amazing that the negative person seems to so busy meeting people there is no time to be negative or critical of others. They walked away feeling pretty good about themselves and meeting new people. It’s worth a shot to try. Do you need help in dealing with a negative person in your life, it could be a family member, friend or even a co-worker? Are you a negative person who needs help in eliminating a negative thoughts and actions? Are you struggling with trying to eliminate a negative person out of your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions please give Dr. Mike a call he can help you find solutions to some of these questions. Call him at 303.456.0555 today! Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most. Dr. Michael Brooks Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services Web: www.applicablecoaching.com Blog: https://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/ Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/ E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com Office: 303.456.0555 Cell: 303.880.9878