Dealing with Difficult People (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue giving you useful information on dealing with difficult people in your life. Seldom do we know what to say or do with people who are angry and difficult to deal with. Dr. Mike will give you some great advice on how to take back control of your life from difficult people. Anger is a real issue with difficult people, like the story mentioned last week about my brother and the woman who took his order. So, how should we deal with angry people who are difficult in our lives? First of all, before you meet with any angry individual, you need to have a plan that will protect you from this person who doesn’t care what they say (how loud) and the surroundings where you’re meeting. Here are some of my tips to help you speak to any difficult person and be in control of the conversation. • I suggest that you first meet with this person in private. Have a meeting at a neutral place if you can set this up. I wouldn’t suggest meeting where people are seated in a crowded restaurant or shopping mall. I have had confrontational meetings in a public library in a conference room. • Stick to the facts of why you are meeting and why. Don’t embellish your story to make a point. If you do this, your meeting will be a total waste. People will figure you out if you’re making things up and be done with your meeting.You will have to go into detail why there is a problem and how it should be resolved. Listen to what is being said from the other person’s perspective. (Important, be a good listener.) • To keep your meeting respective, keep your meeting positive and upbeat. Don’t use an office meeting to confront a person without speaking with them in a private setting. • If the angry or difficult individual wants nothing to do with you after you meet, then let them go. Not everyone will be receptive to meeting with you privately. If they refuse, then move on to the next step and bring a witness with you and sit down and talk. The purpose of meeting with any difficult person is to get closure for each of you. I know this may be uncomfortable and not easy for you but well worth the effort to try to resolve issues between you and the other person. Next week we will continue with dealing with difficult people in our lives. Anger is a real problem many of us face with loved ones and close friends in our lives. Dr. Mike will share some of his tips to help you win the battle with difficult people. Are you afraid to confront difficult people in your life? Do you have family members who are difficult to get along with? Do you fear family gatherings because of past run-ins with siblings, parents? Would you like a plan that can help you face difficult people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878303.880.9878. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dealing with Difficult People (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks As I was waiting in line at a local fast food restaurant, a young man about 20 or so decided to cut in front of the line and act like he didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t bother to look behind him at all and notice the cold stares he was receiving from the people behind him. Some of the people started to grumble and let him know that he needs to go to the end of the line and wait his turn. He kept looking at the menu not paying attention to the people who were calling him out. I was wondering why he thought he could get away with his cutting in line. I waited patiently as the line started to move as people had their orders taken. The woman he cut in front of was a senior citizen, and as he steps up to give his order, she cut in front of this young man and gave him a lecture about manners and respect. She raised her voice so everyone in Wendy’s could hear her. Then she told him to go back to the end of the line. He left the restaurant in a huff and angry. My thoughts were “Bravo” for you. Good job on her part. Life offers all kinds of individuals who prey on non-confrontational people. They bank on someone not challenging them with their being difficult or confrontational. Most folks will murmur under their breath and hope not to make a scene in front of others if they challenge a difficult person. I have been guilty of holding back what I wanted to say to a difficult person. I’m sure many of you have as well. It’s hard to deal with difficult people if you have no taste for conflict. So the question begs, how should we deal with difficult people in our lives? Do we confront them and let the chips fall where they may? Do we step back and say nothing and hope it doesn’t happen again? We all have degrees of what we can tolerate with difficult people. Most of us will say nothing and keep to ourselves. We avoid conflict at all costs. I know some folks who look for correcting someone’s bad behavior if it involves them or someone they know, and it often gets them into trouble. My older brother and I were driving through the drive-through at a Burger King in Florida. He began to place his order with the attendant when she interrupted my brother and asked what size fries he wanted. He said the medium size and then she proceeded to ask him how much would that cost because he could see the prices on the menu board? He said she should know the price and then she unloaded on him on how stupid he was for not being able to read the menu. My brother asked to talk to her manager. The cashier refused to get her manager to speak to my brother. He drove up to the window where this woman was, and he asked again for the manager. She refused and said to my brothers face that he was stupid and couldn’t read. The manager overheard them arguing and came to the drive up window and asked what the problem was? My brother told her the story and the order taker listened and then verbally attacked my brother. Obviously, this was starting to get out of hand, so I asked my brother to leave and go. The manager was trying to solve an issue with her problem co-worker and getting nowhere with her. I think it’s wise to pick and choose your battles and not die on the hill for each and every encounter. Next week we will continue with dealing with difficult people in our lives. Anger is a real problem many of us face with loved ones and close friends in our lives. Dr. Mike will share some of his tips to help you win the battle with difficult people. Are you afraid to confront difficult people in your life? Do you have family members who are difficult to get along with? Do you fear family gatherings because of past run-ins with siblings, parents? Would you like a plan that can help you face difficult people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

How Important is Your Integrity? (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will continue on with our Integrity series and today’s series we will be talking about being honest in a serious relationship. For those of you who are in a serious relationship, here is a word of caution. I know you always want to keep your best foot forward, to look and show that you have your act together. We all want that and to have a wonderful relationship as we fall in love with that right person. Love is a wonderful thing and most of the time we want to look past peoples faults and believe all that they tell us. Am I wrong here? I don’t think so. When you’re in a serious relationship don’t keep secrets from each other. It’s best, to be honest from the get go. There are times when it’s appropriate to share things is a timely manner. As you get to know each other and that’s the fun part of growing a healthy relationship, building trust by sharing your dreams, visions, and goals. Being open about your past relationships, where you have trust issues and your communication style.

I had a friend who was not divorced but separated from his wife for one month. He instantly went to several dating sites and signed up. He went on several dates and got involved with one woman who adored him. He told her that he was single and dated her for several months. She fell in love with him and he proposed to her while still married. He never told her he was still legally married. I asked him did he tell her and he told me he did. In fact, he told several of us he was engaged to this woman, she had a 7-year-old daughter that also felt like this man was like a daddy to her. When we were all sitting around the table someone mentioned to this guy where was he at in the process of his divorce? She looked up and said in a loud voice “what divorce, I thought you said you were divorced!” You could have heard a pin drop, he looked at me than her and stared at me for the longest time while she was saying,” Are you divorced or not?” He stammered several times and avoided her question. The room cleared out and it was the three of us sitting there. She looked at him not taking her eyes off him at all. She wanted an answer immediately. Finally, he admitted that he was still married but going through a divorce. She got up and left immediately. First of all, he should have been upfront with her and she could have decided to continue on with the relationship.

I suggest that you’re honest and open about your past. Don’t keep secrets from each other. Honesty grows a relationship, deceit kills it.
• Be up front with your past, don’t hide it, if you do it will catch up with you
• Hiding things will cause you to have a deceitful heart
• Secrets will destroy your relationship and cause trust issues
• Keeping secrets will cause you to lie
• To keep a relationship healthy be an open book and be truthful when asked questions
• Be known as a man or woman of integrity
• You are in integrity when the life you are living on the outside matches who you are on the inside.

Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555 Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555 or 303.880.9878

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

How Important is Your Integrity? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue on with our Integrity series and todays series we will be talking about loyalty in your marriage. I have another saying for husbands, wives and partners and I believe it’s appropriate for today’s couples. “When the grass looks greener on the other side, it is God telling you to water the grass that you’re standing on.” You need to be committed to your own spouse and not someone else’s. In these day’s social media has a big impact on today’s divorces. It’s easy to find old boyfriends and girlfriends and never give it a second thought as you begin to get reacquainted with them, that you’re married. A person with integrity will not pursue an old flame. There is no reason too. Remain loyal to your spouse or partner. With the ease of no-fault divorces these days many are rushing to get a quick divorce. The hurt that they can do to their spouses and children because they are filing for a divorce without thinking of the consequences to themselves. So what I am suggesting is be loyal to your spouse, no matter how tempted you are. • Loyalty to your spouse/partner keeps you out of trouble • Good communication helps grow trusting relationships • Be loyal to your spouse/partner in front of your relatives, children, and friends • Being loyal means protecting and defending those you love • Let your spouse/partner know your loyal to them, they need to hear it • Loyalty to your spouse/partner is key in building a healthy relationship • One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555 Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

How Important is Your Integrity? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue on with our Integrity series and todays series we will be talking about breaking confidences with the people you know. I know for some people it’s tempting to betray someone’s confidence when they get into trouble. What do you mean you may ask? Well, let’s look at someone who might know of an inside secret about a job posting. You’re supposed to keep it confidential yet you tell your good friend about the posting and the word gets out about the posting through your friend although it’s supposed to be confidential. Yet when your friend is asked who told them about the job posting? Either the friend says nothing or exposes you to keep out of trouble. That’s what I am talking about keeping confidences. Have you been tempted to talk about someone behind their back? I think we all can say “guilty as charged.” This is one of the worst offenses people don’t tolerate very well. I have a saying that I like to use “remember the rumors you hear about me are as true as the ones I hear about you.” Stop gossip in its tracks. This is a vital part of integrity that people admire and want to have in their lives. What is the point of talking about people behind their backs? Does it benefit you by slandering someone? Does it make you appear the better person when talking or gossiping about someone? I hope not. Many friendships have been ruined by a gossip as many family relationships. If you have to talk about someone, do it in front of them. That would be the best way to deal with it. Most people would never gossip in front of their victims. Wonder why? The gossiper would get an ear full. Just don’t gossip and avoid the hassle that goes with it. If you don’t have anything to say in a positive manner, don’t say anything. It’s that simple folks. Be in control of your tongue at all times. Integrity in how you talk about others is key to being a trusted friend. • Don’t be known as a gossip in your sphere of influence • Stop gossip in its tracks, don’t repeat what people say and confront them if their sharing information about anyone • Remember whatever is whispered in secret will be shouted from the rooftops • Encourage wholesome and uplifting conversation with your children and those you know • Gossip destroys family, friendships and marriage relationships • Learn to walk away from a gossip at all times • Gossip is unhealthy to the soul • Perhaps the surest test of an individual’s integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect. Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555 Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

How Important is Your Integrity? (1)

By Dr. Michael Brooks

I have a friend who makes promises that are not kept very often. I remember asking this person for a ride to an appointment. My car was in the shop and I called and explained that I needed help in getting to this appointment. Keep in mind that this is the first time I’ve asked this person for a favor. I had to leave at 8:00 AM to make an 8:30 appointment. I waited until 8:15 to call and see if they were on their way to get me, I got no answer from this person. I called at 8:20 still no answer. I called another friend down the road to see if he could get me to my appointment. He came right over and got me to my meeting albeit 20 minutes late. I called my friend later that afternoon and talked to him and asked why he didn’t show up. His excuse was that he had other commitments he forgot about and didn’t have time to call me. That my friends is what I call the lack of integrity. Would I call this person ever again? Not at all. If you tell someone you’re going to do something for them, DO IT. Keep your word. Don’t make promises that you don’t intend to keep.

My question to you, and believe me, I include myself in this question. Who are we when nobody is looking? Are we true to ourselves and others with our words and actions? That’s the kind of integrity I am talking about. We have to live within our own core values and be examples for others when we walk with integrity. My thought is this: Are your words dependable, can people count on you to follow through with what you tell them? Can you be trusted in your words and deeds? Let’s face it most of us have been let down by family member or friends. Yes, even some of our bosses have let us down. In a world of broken promises keep in mind that you’ll do your part to keep your integrity intact.

I can remember when I was 12 years old buying something at a sporting goods store. I paid at the checkout and gave the clerk my money and she handed me back my change. I didn’t even look at the amount she gave me. When I got home and looked at my money, she gave a $20.00 instead of a one-dollar bill. I looked at the $20-dollar bill in disbelief. I knew I couldn’t keep it, I knew what I had to do and headed back to the sporting goods store. After the clerk was done with her customer I went up to her and told her what happened. She was thrilled that a 12-year-old kid returned the money without a parent in tow. She asked for my phone number and called my parents that evening. She thanked them for raising an honest son.

• Keep in mind that people are watching you and want to trust in you. Be that person that walks with integrity
• If someone gives you too much cash back from a sale, return money immediately.
• Teach your children about honesty and its rewards, a clean conscious about doing the right thing is key to living a victorious life.
• Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.
• Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.
Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555

Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.