What’s The Best Chapter In Your Life (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks
I was walking out to the chicken coop to take care of our livestock when I heard the radio in the coop playing a county song. I just caught a portion of it “what’s the best chapter in your book.” Then I thought wow, that gives me an idea on how to look at our lives through the chapters in our lives. We have a rich plethora of life’s greatest memories stashed away in the back of our minds and don’t even know it. What are some of those life’s experiences hidden in our minds? Thought provoking isn’t it?
I hear many people share some of their great experiences in all kinds of settings. The smiles, laughter and maybe some embarrassment it may bring. I see the giggles and grins, them staring off into space maybe reliving a memory they haven’t thought about in years. Just the thought of looking back at the best chapter in your life can bring healing to so many. I know I have done it when I have missed my parents. I think about our travels as a family in Germany or the vacations we used to take up to Minnesota. It’s a great mind getaway when I think about the great chapters in my life.
I can remember when I spoke with a friend of mine who shared some wonderful insights and memories of his wife who passed several years earlier. As he shared with me, he would look off into the distance and recount some of the things they did together. As he wiped his eyes thinking about her he said out loud, “Boy, I haven’t thought about our first meeting in years.” He shared how they met in high school at a football game. He said it was love at first sight, he knew that she was the one for him. For most of us, relationships are the number one “best chapters in our Life.”
For some of you, you’re still waiting for that best chapter in your life to happen. For others they can’t seem to find anything good about their best chapter in their lives and focus on the negatives. For others there are so many great experiences that you can’t seem to find one that would top that list.
I want to encourage you that if you are struggling with finding a great chapter in your life, do something about it. Start getting involved in other people’s lives. Try to make a difference in yours by being a part of their lives. Start creating good memories by getting out of the house or finding new healthy friends. The key to being happy with your life or situation is moving forward. If you’re expecting people to make you happy, don’t bother. It will never happen. You have to be the architect to create the happiness in your own life.
Do you have regrets looking back and would like to mend fences with a family member or friend and need help in making that happen?? Would you like to set a new course for your life and need help? If you answered yes to any of these questions please Dr. Mike a call he can help you make changes in your life.
Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: https://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878
Posted on March 10, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks
<strong>When Women Say They Want A Divorce (4)</strong>
We will continue to go over the <strong>reasons why women file for divorce</strong> and their reasons why. As painful as it is sometimes men they don’t get it until the wife finally <strong>files for divorce</strong>. Some women can walk it back while others have thrown in the towel and want to move on with their lives. Guys it’s up to you to start working on fixing your marriage. Don’t wait till it’s too late.
Personality problems, these are difficult to overcome and can be very frustrating to say the least. I had a client who dated his wife for a short period of time and got married after a few months. They didn’t spend all that much time dating and one day decided to get married. After a few months the wife started acting strangely. She started accusing her new husband of cheating on her. He found her sitting on the sidewalk rocking back and forth mumbling to herself. Her behavior was getting more bizarre each month. He was wondering if he was losing his mind from the way she acted towards him. She refused to get help and would confide in her unhealthy friends seeking their advice. She filed for divorce and met a man while separated from her husband and eventually married him. Had this couple dated for a period of time this marriage probably would have never happened. So, yes <strong>personality problems are a big concern</strong>.
<strong>Lack of communication is one of the biggest marriage breakers</strong>. It’s beyond me why some couples just don’t communicate. You live in the same house yet talking seems to be so difficult. Why is that? There are many reasons for that and we can go over a few. The major one is<strong> fear of being run </strong>down by your spouse. I had a client who couldn’t speak to her husband. He would interrupt, argue with what she was saying. He would brow beat her into his way of thinking. So she shut down and refused to be a victim of his abuse any longer.
I know a lot of couples who need help in communication these days. Don’t avoid difficult subjects to talk about. Don’t wait for the perfect time to talk make it happen now. Don’t argue or fight when speaking to each other. If it starts getting loud, back off! Take time to think about what you have to talk about! Don’t have text or have the TV or Radio on.<strong> Pay attention to each other</strong> and look each other in the eyes when you speak to each other. If you need help in communication contact me, I can help you!
Next week we will wrap up the reasons why women file for divorce. Feel free to call me if I can help you or you have any questions.
Do you feel that your husband doesn’t care about your marriage and you want out? Are you constantly asking your husband to sit down and talk with you and he shows no interest? Do you want a divorce but want to give him one more try? Is divorce your best option and you’re needing help in your next steps? Are you a husband whose been told “I want a divorce” and you want to save your marriage? Do you and your wife want to give it one more try and need help working on your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions contact Dr. Mike he can help you sort things out.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!
Posted on February 5, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks
These are a few of the reasons why women file for divorce and I’m sure the list could be a 100 reasons if we wanted to list them all.
Let’s look at infidelity on the woman’s part. First let me say right off the bat there is no reason infidelity should happen in your marriage. End your marriage if you must and move on. The women I have spoken to say that their husbands lack interest in physical intimacy drove them into the arms of another man. So what happens is the wife looks for men that will provide what her physical needs are. While having these affairs many of these women filed for divorce. Why? Because they thought they found that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence only to find they were being used for sex.
Many of the women felt betrayed by their lovers thinking they had found the right man to replace the husband. Only to discover that once the men had their way with them were dumped and cast aside. I say, try everything you can to avoid having an affair. Get counseling or coaching do everything to avoid losing your self respect, your family, and your spouse. I can’t tell you how many women have sat across the table sharing what a stupid mistake they made by cheating on their husbands. Most wished it never happened. The reputation they made for themselves and their immediate family and circle of friends was an albatross around their neck for years.
Incompatible relationships. If a husband gets involved with his wife and kid’s lives this shows a serious commitment to the relationship and this would greatly help most of the incompatible issues in the marriage. Yes, I know that all marriages are not going to work out I get that. Build on the things that brought you together as a couple in the beginning. Husbands this is your assignment. Sit down and have an honest discussion with your wife and ask her what you need to do to be a better husband. Listen to what she has to say. Don’t interrupt or correct her when she is speaking to you. If she is talking divorce before this talk I’m asking you to do, you better listen carefully and take note when you sit down and talk. If you have been given verbal notice (or warning) you better act on it. The next notice will be from a process server giving you divorce papers.
Drinking/drug use. So many marriages have ended because of alcohol or drug abuse. If your wife is telling you she’s done with your relationship because of your drinking or drug use…you need to get help immediately. If you don’t the marriage is most likely is over. Many women will stay in a marriage where alcohol abuse is involved and most likely for the kids sake.
Grew apart, this is a problem for many men. Many men had their own interests prior before getting married and once they say “I Do” will put those interests on the back burner. Only to have them resurface and exclude their wife from sharing the things they enjoy. Men you need to be involved with your wife on all levels. Do things together, enjoy the fun things which brought you two together. When a wife says that your growing apart and she thinks she wants to move on, you’re the only one who can repair this problem. If you do nothing and continue to do your own thing you may be getting served papers.
Do you feel that your husband doesn’t care about your marriage and you want out? Are you constantly asking your husband to sit down and talk with you and he shows no interest? Do you want a divorce but want to give him one more try? Is divorce your best option and you’re needing help in your next steps? Are you a husband whose been told “I want a divorce” and you want to save your marriage? Do you and your wife want to give it one more try and need help working on your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions contact Dr. Mike he can help you sort things out.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!
Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: https://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878
Posted on January 28, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks
If you don’t have auto responders in your marriage you can get yourself into a boat load of trouble. You really don’t want fights over things you have said to each other do you?. Seems like some couples never learn when to simply quit arguing. They have to get the last word in or make a dig that is intended to continue the couples fighting. I tell my clients to stop with their attitude of “I will win the fights we have.” That kind of thinking will kill many salvageable marriages.
Who wants to live with someone who always has to be right and will keep a running score. Using the auto responder can save marriages if you’re willing to learn how to implement it in your relationship with your spouse.
Even if you’re separated you can use the auto responder to stop the fighting between you and your partner. During separations and divorce proceedings many times you will be tempted to fire some verbal volley’s at your soon to be ex. People get wounded, hurt and they say things out of their personal pain while going through a divorce.
If you want your divorce to be somewhat amenable then don’t respond and be nasty when you’re being attacked verbally. Your auto responder should be limited communication but carefully chosen responses. You only hurt yourself and children if you battle with your words. It only makes matters worse for all of you. Take the high road and leave it at that.
Here are my tips for auto responders for couples that are separated or going through a divorce.
· When the kids are being used in your verbal war of words “STOP” they should never be used in personal attacks against each other.
· Weigh what you say, because if you don’t, some of the very words you speak can and will be used against you during your divorce.
· If you feel yourself getting frustrated while talking with your soon to be ex just say “this is probably not a good time to talk and let’s continue this tomorrow.”
· Remember there are no winners or losers in your warring communication. Walk away and take the high ground.
· Let your lawyers fight it out for you. The auto responder that stops most separated or divorcing individuals in their tracks is “talk to my attorney.”
· When in doubt and you see that your conversation is going absolutely nowhere, end the conversation on the spot. If you don’t you may be setting yourself up for some big problems. Don’t wait around to see what happens.
I have one client who says she loves her husband yet is separated and continues to fight with him. They argue over everything. She pokes him in the eye with painful attacks and he responds in kind. I told her stop attacking and use the auto responders we worked on. It can be very difficult to use your auto responders when you’re used to snarky comebacks to hurt the other person.
Many people have lost everything by the way they respond to others. Marriages have ended because of mouthy comebacks. People have been murdered, injured, made lifetime enemies…just by responding with snarky or harmful comebacks. You don’t need to do that. Learn to use your auto responders wisely. They will keep you out of trouble. If you need help in learning on how to use auto responders call Dr. Mike.
Do you struggle with keeping quiet when you want so much to fire back with a snarky remark? Have you gotten yourself into trouble by the things you have said to others? Do you need to learn how to control what you say and how you say it? Have you lost friendships over some of the things you have said and want help in repairing those friendships? If you answered yes to any of these questions you can call Dr. Mike and get help. Call him at 303.456.0555 today!
Posted on December 23, 2014 by Dr. Mike Brooks
What Are Your Auto Responders? (2)
We have all probably received an “auto responder” which was sent to us automatically in reply to an email we sent. This tool is used, for example, to provide a confirmation email when you purchase tickets or merchandise from an online store. Today, we are picking up where we left off last week where we were discussing, how at times, we may be verbally assaulted or have our integrity questioned, and in the heat of the moment, say things we later regret, as in an auto responder. As an example, in your circle of friends, there may be a pecking order. Many times you will see a few horse playing around where some in the group will start picking on the quiet ones and tease them. Many times a remark may be said in jest but may be taken the wrong way by those to whom it was directed. Pushed too hard, look out! If this group doesn’t know how to control their auto responders, hurtful words will start to fly. In fact, they may say some things that may be extremely hurtful. Hard feelings will happen and the friendship becomes fractured, never to be the same.
We all react to attacks or uncomfortable situations differently. Some of us become silent, while others are just itching for a verbal altercation. For me personally, I like to step back and size up what was said and why. I can do this in a matter of seconds. I have trained myself to “weigh what I say”. What is the point of throwing out some verbal jab when you have no intention of following up with another one? It just makes matters worse for you and it inflames the situation. Believe me, most of us have said something as a response that we wish we could take back, right?
I remember sitting at a restaurant while waiting for my meal, when the couple sitting next to me began to argue. I didn’t hear the beginning of their conversation but I and everyone in the restaurant heard the end of it. As she stood up and threw her white napkin down on the table, obviously frustrated with him, she stammered, trying to find the right words to get him to stop and listen to her. All the while he was making snide remarks and laughing at her as they got up and left the restaurant. All she had to do to take control of the situation was use her auto responder to say what she had to say and then get up and leave. There is no point in debating with someone who is being disrespectful to you. Make sure they understand it a moot point to debate you while they are being disrespectful and then walk away.
Auto responders can prevent arguments if you know how to use them effectively. Instead of arguing, try using your auto responder. For example, let’s say you have someone who wants to argue with you and you simply don’t want to go there. Simply say “I’m sorry but I don’t want to argue, I’m having a great day and want to keep it that way.” Or, “Nope, I’m not going there, got to go.” There are many ways you to prevent an argument. Just make sure that you have an auto responder ready before you need it. Don’t incite someone wanting to debate or argue with you. Simply walk away.
Many people have lost everything by the way they respond to others. Marriages have ended because of the way one or the other shoots off at their mouth. People have been murdered, injured and have made lifetime enemies just by responding with rude or smartelic comebacks. You don’t need to do that. Learn to use your auto responders wisely. They will keep you out of trouble. If you need help in learning on how to use auto responders call Dr. Mike.
Do you struggle with keeping quiet when you want so much to fire back with a harsh remark? Have you gotten yourself into trouble by the things you have said to others? Do you need to learn how to control what you say and how you say it? Have you lost friendships over some of the things you have said and want help in repairing those friendships? If you answered yes to any of these questions you need to call Dr. Mike! Call him at 303.456.0555 today!
Posted on November 18, 2014 by Dr. Mike Brooks
What Are Your Auto Responders? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks
We have all probably received an “auto responder” which was sent to us automatically in reply to an email we sent. This tool is used, for example, to provide a confirmation email when you purchase tickets or merchandise from an online store. Today, we are picking up where we left off last week where we were discussing, how at times, we may be verbally assaulted or have our integrity questioned, and in the heat of the moment, say things we later regret, as in an auto responder. As an example, in your circle of friends, there may be a pecking order. Many times you will see a few horse playing around where some in the group will start picking on the quiet ones and tease them. Many times a remark may be said in jest but may be taken the wrong way by those to whom it was directed. Pushed too hard, look out! If this group doesn’t know how to control their auto responders, hurtful words will start to fly. In fact, they may say some things that may be extremely hurtful. Hard feelings will happen and the friendship becomes fractured, never to be the same.
We all react to attacks or uncomfortable situations differently. Some of us become silent, while others are just itching for a verbal altercation. For me personally, I like to step back and size up what was said and why. I can do this in a matter of seconds. I have trained myself to “weigh what I say”. What is the point of throwing out some verbal jab when you have no intention of following up with another one? It just makes matters worse for you and it inflames the situation. Believe me, most of us have said something as a response that we wish we could take back, right?
I remember sitting at a restaurant while waiting for my meal, when the couple sitting next to me began to argue. I didn’t hear the beginning of their conversation but I and everyone in the restaurant heard the end of it. As she stood up and threw her white napkin down on the table, obviously frustrated with him, she stammered, trying to find the right words to get him to stop and listen to her. All the while he was making snide remarks and laughing at her as they got up and left the restaurant. All she had to do to take control of the situation was use her auto responder to say what she had to say and then get up and leave. There is no point in debating with someone who is being disrespectful to you. Make sure they understand it a moot point to debate you while they are being disrespectful and then walk away.
Auto responders can prevent arguments if you know how to use them effectively. Instead of arguing, try using your auto responder. For example, let’s say you have someone who wants to argue with you and you simply don’t want to go there. Simply say “I’m sorry but I don’t want to argue, I’m having a great day and want to keep it that way.” Or, “Nope, I’m not going there, got to go.” There are many ways you to prevent an argument. Just make sure that you have an auto responder ready before you need it. Don’t incite someone wanting to debate or argue with you. Simply walk away.
Many people have lost everything by the way they respond to others. Marriages have ended because of the way one or the other shoots off at their mouth. People have been murdered, injured and have made lifetime enemies just by responding with rude or smartelic comebacks. You don’t need to do that. Learn to use your auto responders wisely. They will keep you out of trouble. If you need help in learning on how to use auto responders call Dr. Mike.
Do you struggle with keeping quiet when you want so much to fire back with a harsh remark? Have you gotten yourself into trouble by the things you have said to others? Do you need to learn how to control what you say and how you say it? Have you lost friendships over some of the things you have said and want help in repairing those friendships? If you answered yes to any of these questions you need to call Dr. Mike! Call him at 303.456.0555 today!
Posted on November 13, 2014 by Dr. Mike Brooks
What are your Auto-responders? (1)
How many times have you been caught off guard by what someone said about you? I sure have! So, let me ask you, how should we respond to an verbal insult or someone that questions our motives in private or out in public? Maybe we didn’t like what something was said about us and it wasn’t true. Or, we simply didn’t like what we were hearing and we got angry. I think it’s pretty easy to cut to the bone with our comeback remarks. When we knowingly hurt the person who said something to us that we didn’t like to hear, then it’s time to question our motives. I hear and see this behavior all the time in my office or on the phone calls I take. Most people will respond out of hurt or embarrassment to a snarky remark directed at them. We’ve all done it and yes even to some of the people we love and respect.
I think Abraham Lincoln was the king of come backs of auto-responders in the political world. During his debates with Douglas he would use his humorous auto responders to engage with Douglas. Not to belittle Douglas but to drive a point home on his personal values and principles to the American people. Douglas would personally attack Lincoln on his appearance and size. And Lincoln kept his cool under pressure and said nothing that made him look foolish but engaged the people with his wit and humor. He was wise in using his auto responders and it kept him out of trouble.
How effective are auto responders and when can I use them you may ask? They can be used anytime at home, in any and all relationships, even at work. Auto responders are used to disarm people who are verbally putting you down. Thus giving you time to excuse yourself and leave. It’s that simple.
In many marriage conflicts there are many unhealthy exchanges between spouses that become battle grounds inside the home. Fights can last for days and weeks if allowed. These kind of knee jerk verbal exchanges can inflict a great deal of pain and cause marriage separation and divorce. Many of you know how I feel about saying things that hurt others and my saying is this “taste it before you say it.” If your words are going to hurt someone by what you say, then don’t say it! What is the purpose of your snarky comeback, is it to hurt someone for saying something you didn’t like to hear? Is it meant to demean someone and put them in their place? Keep in mind with your choice of your words don’t put someone down when they’re discouraged and hurting, it may cause bitterness between you that could last a lifetime.
Many people have lost everything by the way they respond to others. Marriages have ended because of mouthy comebacks. People have been murdered, injured, made lifetime enemies…just by responding with snarky or harmful comebacks. You don’t need to do that. Learn to use your auto responders wisely. They will keep you out of trouble. If you need help in learning on how to use auto responders call Dr. Mike.
Do you struggle with keeping quiet when you want so much to fire back with a snarky remark? Have you gotten yourself into trouble by the things you have said to others? Do you need to learn how to control what you say and how you say it? Have you lost friendships over some of the things you have said and want help in repairing those friendships? If you answered yes to any of these questions you can call Dr. Mike and get help. Call him at 303.456.0555 today!
Posted on November 5, 2014 by Dr. Mike Brooks
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