How Important Is Your Integrity (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

How Important is Your Integrity? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue on with our Integrity series and todays series we will be talking about breaking confidences with the people you know. I know for some people it’s tempting to betray someone’s confidence when they get into trouble. What do you mean you may ask? Well, let’s look at someone who might know of an inside secret about a job posting. You’re supposed to keep it confidential yet you tell your good friend about the posting and the word gets out about the posting through your friend although it’s supposed to be confidential. Yet when your friend is asked who told them about the job posting? Either the friend says nothing or exposes you to keep out of trouble. That’s what I am talking about keeping confidences. Have you been tempted to talk about someone behind their back? I think we all can say “guilty as charged.” This is one of the worst offenses people don’t tolerate very well. I have a saying that I like to use “remember the rumors you hear about me are as true as the ones I hear about you.” Stop gossip in its tracks. This is a vital part of integrity that people admire and want to have in their lives. What is the point of talking about people behind their backs? Does it benefit you by slandering someone? Does it make you appear the better person when talking or gossiping about someone? I hope not. Many friendships have been ruined by a gossip as many family relationships. If you have to talk about someone, do it in front of them. That would be the best way to deal with it. Most people would never gossip in front of their victims. Wonder why? The gossiper would get an ear full. Just don’t gossip and avoid the hassle that goes with it. If you don’t have anything to say in a positive manner, don’t say anything. It’s that simple folks. Be in control of your tongue at all times. Integrity in how you talk about others is key to being a trusted friend. • Don’t be known as a gossip in your sphere of influence • Stop gossip in its tracks, don’t repeat what people say and confront them if their sharing information about anyone • Remember whatever is whispered in secret will be shouted from the rooftops • Encourage wholesome and uplifting conversation with your children and those you know • Gossip destroys family, friendships and marriage relationships • Learn to walk away from a gossip at all times • Gossip is unhealthy to the soul • Perhaps the surest test of an individual’s integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect. Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555 Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on February 17, 2016 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Divorce and Separation, Marriage Relationships, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional and College Athletes, Relationships

How Important is Your Integrity? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

How Important is Your Integrity? (1)

By Dr. Michael Brooks

I have a friend who makes promises that are not kept very often. I remember asking this person for a ride to an appointment. My car was in the shop and I called and explained that I needed help in getting to this appointment. Keep in mind that this is the first time I’ve asked this person for a favor. I had to leave at 8:00 AM to make an 8:30 appointment. I waited until 8:15 to call and see if they were on their way to get me, I got no answer from this person. I called at 8:20 still no answer. I called another friend down the road to see if he could get me to my appointment. He came right over and got me to my meeting albeit 20 minutes late. I called my friend later that afternoon and talked to him and asked why he didn’t show up. His excuse was that he had other commitments he forgot about and didn’t have time to call me. That my friends is what I call the lack of integrity. Would I call this person ever again? Not at all. If you tell someone you’re going to do something for them, DO IT. Keep your word. Don’t make promises that you don’t intend to keep.
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My question to you, and believe me, I include myself in this question. Who are we when nobody is looking? Are we true to ourselves and others with our words and actions? That’s the kind of integrity I am talking about. We have to live within our own core values and be examples for others when we walk with integrity. My thought is this: Are your words dependable, can people count on you to follow through with what you tell them? Can you be trusted in your words and deeds? Let’s face it most of us have been let down by family member or friends. Yes, even some of our bosses have let us down. In a world of broken promises keep in mind that you’ll do your part to keep your integrity intact.

I can remember when I was 12 years old buying something at a sporting goods store. I paid at the checkout and gave the clerk my money and she handed me back my change. I didn’t even look at the amount she gave me. When I got home and looked at my money, she gave a $20.00 instead of a one-dollar bill. I looked at the $20-dollar bill in disbelief. I knew I couldn’t keep it, I knew what I had to do and headed back to the sporting goods store. After the clerk was done with her customer I went up to her and told her what happened. She was thrilled that a 12-year-old kid returned the money without a parent in tow. She asked for my phone number and called my parents that evening. She thanked them for raising an honest son.

• Keep in mind that people are watching you and want to trust in you. Be that person that walks with integrity
• If someone gives you too much cash back from a sale, return money immediately.
• Teach your children about honesty and its rewards, a clean conscious about doing the right thing is key to living a victorious life.
• Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.
• Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.
Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555

Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on February 12, 2016 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Confrontation, Divorce and Separation, Marriage Relationships, Personal Growth, Professional Accountability Coaching, Professional and College Athletes, Relationships

Are The Holidays Tough on You? By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are the Holidays Tough on You? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I remember when growing up as a kid that the Christmas season was pretty exciting. Most kids don’t have a care in the world. Their world consists of friends, playing games, what’s for dinner, and when do we get to open presents? You knew that you’d be seeing distant family members sometime during the Christmas break. Maybe you’d have an Uncle Arnie like I did that would be there, he was the black sheep of the family, but always was your favorite uncle. He loved you because you paid attention to him and you were his only reason he came by the house to spend time with the family. The TV was on and you watched movies like “Its A Wonderful Life.” “The Christmas Story.” The entire family would enjoy Christmas dinner around the table together laughing and joking around. That’s the pretty side of Christmas, the one that’s represented on a yule tide Christmas cards. It’s the Christmas image we all would like to have with snow falling and a cup of hot chocolate.

But for many people that’s not the Christmas they will enjoy this year. They have lost a loved one, they have gone through a divorce or separation. A once beautiful friendship was lost because of a bitter disagreement or someone moved away. A family member only has a short time to live and this family will be at the hospital or hospice sharing a last Christmas together.

For most of us adults, there is some sadness associated with this time of year. I think having family helps us deal with some of the faded memories we often have of lost loved ones. Maybe our parents who were really into Christmas, with their decorating, making cookies, hanging Christmas lights, and like my dad would belt out a Bing Crosby “Dreaming of a White Christmas,” and we’d all chime in and sing along. Sometimes there are good things to think about and sometimes they can a haunting memory of Christmas past.

In any case, be on the lookout for someone that is spending Christmas alone. Invite them over for a meal and present them with a small gift or gift card. That could mean the world to someone spending Christmas alone. The difference that would make for the lonely and brokenhearted person you know could mean life or death of their spirit.

The joy of helping others goes a long way for you personally. Just knowing that you’re making a difference in someone’s life and their family is a feel good moment. Have you ever thought, how can I help someone during Christmas? Here are a few ideas for you to ponder:

· If you know of a family struggling, offer to buy their kids presents.
· If you know of a family in your community or church, get them a gift certificate for groceries in your local grocery store.
· Offer to run errands for someone that is ill that you know.
· Make cookies or treats for a family in need.
· If you know of a family that has children and you know that they have limited income, buy a movie gift card for the entire family.
· Take a family out to dinner.

These are just a few ideas that you can reach out to those in need in your sphere of influence. It will take some time on your part but well worth the effort in bringing joy in other people’s lives.

Are you struggling with the loss of a family member, spouse or friends and are having a difficult time moving forward? Is Christmas so painful that you dread this time of year and need help in getting past the holidays? Are you hurting over a divorce or are separated and need to talk to someone about the pain you’re experiencing? Do you need help in planning how to get through the holidays? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call he can help you get through the holidays.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on December 10, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Divorce and Separation, Marriage Relationships, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional Accountability Coaching, Regrets in Life, Relationships

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

You want to create good memories of what your children think of you and how you are setting an example of how they will raise their families when they are on their own. Kids today live in a world of mass confusion. Why? It’s the electronics, mass media, the internet and so much more. Be kind in what you say to your kids. Be a parent and not a best friend. Be in control of your feelings at all times.

Your words give life and death in your marriage, did you know that? Well they do and men and women need to know that. In the age of easy divorces and separations you really need to know the right words that help you build up each other.

What words do most divorcing and separated couples use against each other. Remember your words mean life and death to your marriage! One of the biggest death words in a marriage spiraling out of control is “lack of communication” avoiding talking with each other because you’re angry. You want to punish the other person by avoiding speaking or seeing them. I want to encourage you if this is your style of inflicting pain on your spouse it’s a recipe for disaster.

In your anger don’t say anything that your spouse will take personally. Don’t say anything about their physical appearance. Don’t be critical about their weight, being bald, the way they dress, the way they do their hair. Avoid going down this road. You may think it funny and say they don’t care what you say about their appearance…trust me it’s a deep painful reminder each and every time you say it. If you have done this in the past you owe your spouse an apology and never say it again. Words can kill a marriage or any relationship for that matter.

Don’t talk bad about your in-laws, another marriage word killer. Stay away and avoid doing this. You being married to your spouse and talking negatively about your spouse’s family can be a mine field for you and have some bad consequences for your marriage. I keep repeating myself here..if you don’t have anything good to say about your in-laws, then don’t say anything at all. I have seen some big arguments in my office from a spouse who has been critical towards their in-laws. I think sitting down with your spouse and explaining why you feel the way you do would go a long way in preventing issues with spouse and your in-laws. Finding faults with in-laws can be a problem for the entire family. State your reasons why you feel the way you do and talk to your spouse about them. Being constantly critical of your in-laws and not offering a resolution to fix the problem is unhealthy for your marriage. Ask yourself, do I have valid points or am I just wanting to complain about my in-laws?

Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on November 30, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Confrontation, Divorce and Separation, Marriage Relationships, Personal Growth, Regrets in Life, Relationships

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I can remember when I was 5 years old getting into big trouble with my parents. I found my mom’s scissors and started to cut my own hair. There was several bald spots and hair all over the bathroom sink. After cutting my hair I found a tube of red lipstick in the bathroom and decided that I wanted to look like a clown and made big red circles on my cheeks and chin. I then added the red nose for good measure. I was supposed to be watched by my older brother Bob who decided he wanted to go to a friend’s house. My mom and dad walked in the door and my mom screamed in horror when she saw me. “Where’s your older brother” she asked? I looked at her and said “I don’t know.” My dad was trying to keep a straight face, but looked sternly at me. My mom walked back into the living room and reminded me that tomorrow was the day I was supposed to have my school pictures taken.

I suppose that my mom and dad could have just lost it and spanked me. They didn’t…I sat and listened to my dad telling me that the scissors were dangerous and was told that I should ask permission to use them next time. My mom was very understanding and tried to clean me up from the lipstick. I’m sure some of you are wondering about the school pictures. I went and had them taken…in the picture you can still see the faint outlines of circles on my cheeks and chin and a very faint red nose. And the hair, well that couldn’t be hidden very well. It’s out there for everyone to see.

Now teenagers are a different breed of how your words are spoken. You have to be careful in how you say things to them. They can be sensitive and take things you say the wrong way. I have seen some terrific teenagers with incredible attitudes. I think parents have a lot of control in how their kids respond to things said to them. If you’re constantly berating your kids I’m afraid that the lack of respect you want from your teenagers is going to be lacking. Kids need someone who will sit down and talk things out with them. Not hearing how stupid, dumb, or childish they act. That will not work in helping kids during their difficult teen years. Be supportive and understanding.
My tips for speaking words of life over your teenagers:

• Ask them to sit down with you when you don’t understand why they do some of the things they do
• Be careful when angry and hold back on what you say to your kids, think about what you’re about to say. You can’t take back words spoken out of anger
• Avoid words such as stupid, dummy, idiot, no good, these promote negative feeling and lack of self-worth
• Try understanding where you child is coming from and talk about their needs, feelings, wants
• If you’re angry with your kids, by all means share why your angry without yelling, screaming, swearing. Be under control at all times.
• Take a timeout for yourself if needed, walk away and think about how you need to regain control and share why your upset.

Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on November 17, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Confrontation, Ethics in Life, Marriage Relationships, Personal, Personal Growth, Professional and College Athletes, Relationships

The Power Of Your Words Give Life Or Death (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Have guidelines set in place, when you have that face to face meeting you will get to the heart of the matter without using hurting words to put your spouse down to prove a point. I believe that uplifting and encouraging words get much better results than your negative and condescending words. Keep in mind how you like to be spoken to. Most of us would rather be talked to in a civil and respectful manner. Always keep in mind that you have to be in control in what you say to someone or how you should respond to them.

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I had a friend of mine who wanted his wife to learn how to shoot a handgun. They went to a shooting range so she could learn the basics of target shooting. I watched as he worked with her. He was getting frustrated by the minute as he tried to teach her to shoot a 22 pistol. He was being negative in his words and very condescending towards her. He said to her “our 10 year old son could figure this out, why can’t you?” this isn’t that hard he scolded her. She was extremely frustrated and said that she just wanted to go home. He was at his wits end. The range master heard what was going on and walked over to my friend and asked if he could help her. My buddy said “certainly, you’ll have no better luck then I did.”

I have to say the range master spoke encouraging words and worked with her step by step and she responded very well to his way of saying things to her. He didn’t berate her or speak negatively to her. She actually did a great job and was very comfortable in the way he taught her to shoot. This made all the difference in the world the way she was spoken to. Remember the way you speak to the people in your life is important in the way they respond to you. If you’re speaking positive words and uplifting words to those people you interact with you can expect to be treated well. On the other hand if your words are critical and negative you can expect poor results in most of your expectations and communication with that person and lack of respect towards you.

I watched a mother playing with her Down syndrome daughter at a park one day. The child was about 6 or 7 years of age. The mother was laughing while trying to teach her daughter how to sing (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) they both giggled, smiled and the mother never gave up. The daughter was enjoying the connection she had with her mother. Could you imagine if the mother was harsh towards the daughter while teaching her to learn this simple song? I would like to give you some of my tips on how impactful your words can be towards others in your life like your spouse, family, friends, and co-workers.
Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on November 2, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Divorce and Separation, Divorce Coaching, Marriage Relationships, Personal Growth, Professional Accountability Coaching, Regrets in Life, Relationships

The Power Of Your Words Give Life Or Death (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I was shopping at a Home Depot store and watched a disabled man trying to walk through the paint department isles along with his wife. He was struggling to walk through obstacles that were placed in the isle. He was frail and in pain as he walked. I was close enough to hear their discussion about a color of paint for a room they wanted painted. He was trying to get a color of a paint that would brighten the room he liked to sit in.

She laid into him and said loud enough for everyone to hear “if we get that color of paint, you can paint the room yourself” I could see the hurt on his face and the embarrassment of her tongue lashing he received in public. I thought to myself how would I deal with this behavior from my wife? I’m not sure what I would do. I feel that there is life and death in the tongue by the way we speak to each other. I’m not judging her whatsoever, who knows what was going on before I heard their discussion. Maybe he was hard on her by some of the things he said prior to going to home depot.

Our words are always being measured by the things we say and how we say them. I’m sure you have heard the old saying “Actions speak louder than words,” or “Taste your words before you say them.” Growing up in a military family I watched my dad on how he treated my mom. He was always saying encouraging words to her. I never saw my parents argue or have a heated debate. They were respectful in what they said to each other.

I have seen couples in my office that lost control of the words they spoke to each other. I could see the facial expression of the one spouse who was on the receiving end of verbal abuse. The damaging effects it has can be a lifetime of painful memories. I’m sure all of us have been in some form of disagreement with our spouses. We may be justified in how we feel but how we share that frustration is key in having a healthy marriage. I believe that most failed marriages are a result of extremely poor communication. How we relate to each other without demanding our own way in a heated argument is pretty important.

Sometimes we just have to step back and evaluate what the costs are of winning an argument. Is it worth it if it means saying harsh and cruel words towards your spouse? Do you need to be sarcastic to prove a point? Are your war of words necessary to crush the spirit of your spouse for a short gain win? If you know that you’re about to get into a disagreement then both of you should know the rules of a verbal disagreement. Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

Posted on October 23, 2015 by Dr. Mike Brooks

Categories: Confrontation, Divorce and Separation, Divorce Coaching, Marriage Relationships, Personal Growth, Professional Accountability Coaching, Relationships