The Easy Way Out (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks As I look at the people I work with today, many feel that ignoring their marriage problems will go away. The “easy way out” crowd will walk away from it and not give it a second thought. These folks want nothing to do with resolving any problems. Many of us don’t know how to spot the “easy way out” people until it’s too late. Once you know who these people are, be very careful in having any emotional, or business dealings with them. Here are some of my tips in recognizing these people: • Caviler attitudes towards others • Will find excuses not to commit to people or projects • At the slightest confrontation, they will avoid the person who is the person wanting answers from them • Will let you down emotionally time after time • Prefer to always take the easy road • Will put barriers in front of commitment • They will commit to people or projects until they are called on to help or get involved and not show up or call you In many divorces, the “easy way out” person will not make any effort to talk with you and resolve the marriage problems but seek out a lawyer and file divorce papers on you. They will not face their spouse or even talk with them about why they are filing. Their reason is this, they don’t want any emotional attachment to you, so filing and having their lawyer take care of the legal matters is all this individual wants. They will do things underhanded things just to be done with you. They move things out of the house when the other person is not at home. They will start closing accounts and moving money. They simply don’t like to argue or have any confrontation. I know of a couple who seemed to have a good marriage and then one day the man moved out of the house leaving his wife wondering what just happened. She was devastated and heartbroken. She waited a few days and tried calling him. He avoided her and went through his lawyer for any correspondence he thought she needed from him. She was served with separation papers and eventually divorce papers. His “easy way out” was to hire a lawyer to end his marriage and continue to be involved with another married woman. The “easy way out” destroys people, families, and relationships. I call it the cowards way of dealing with life’s problems. This isn’t the answer nor is it good for the person on the receiving end of someone trying to avoid conflict. I know several people who will take the easy way out because that’s their nature and avoid strife of any kind. They are weak in their marriages and get walked over constantly. Instead of sticking up for themselves they cave in and get beat up emotionally. The easy way isn’t always the best way. Those that take the “easy way out” suffer in silence until they break and move on never looking back. Do you fear confrontation and will avoid it at any cost, even if it complicates your relationship with your spouse? Do you feel that taking the path of least resistance is painful and has hurt you in the past? Would you like help in being able to stand up and address taking the easy way out? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give Dr. Mike a call.He can help you today. His number is 303.880.9878. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dealing with Difficult People (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks As I was waiting in line at a local fast food restaurant, a young man about 20 or so decided to cut in front of the line and act like he didn’t do anything wrong. He didn’t bother to look behind him at all and notice the cold stares he was receiving from the people behind him. Some of the people started to grumble and let him know that he needs to go to the end of the line and wait his turn. He kept looking at the menu not paying attention to the people who were calling him out. I was wondering why he thought he could get away with his cutting in line. I waited patiently as the line started to move as people had their orders taken. The woman he cut in front of was a senior citizen, and as he steps up to give his order, she cut in front of this young man and gave him a lecture about manners and respect. She raised her voice so everyone in Wendy’s could hear her. Then she told him to go back to the end of the line. He left the restaurant in a huff and angry. My thoughts were “Bravo” for you. Good job on her part. Life offers all kinds of individuals who prey on non-confrontational people. They bank on someone not challenging them with their being difficult or confrontational. Most folks will murmur under their breath and hope not to make a scene in front of others if they challenge a difficult person. I have been guilty of holding back what I wanted to say to a difficult person. I’m sure many of you have as well. It’s hard to deal with difficult people if you have no taste for conflict. So the question begs, how should we deal with difficult people in our lives? Do we confront them and let the chips fall where they may? Do we step back and say nothing and hope it doesn’t happen again? We all have degrees of what we can tolerate with difficult people. Most of us will say nothing and keep to ourselves. We avoid conflict at all costs. I know some folks who look for correcting someone’s bad behavior if it involves them or someone they know, and it often gets them into trouble. My older brother and I were driving through the drive-through at a Burger King in Florida. He began to place his order with the attendant when she interrupted my brother and asked what size fries he wanted. He said the medium size and then she proceeded to ask him how much would that cost because he could see the prices on the menu board? He said she should know the price and then she unloaded on him on how stupid he was for not being able to read the menu. My brother asked to talk to her manager. The cashier refused to get her manager to speak to my brother. He drove up to the window where this woman was, and he asked again for the manager. She refused and said to my brothers face that he was stupid and couldn’t read. The manager overheard them arguing and came to the drive up window and asked what the problem was? My brother told her the story and the order taker listened and then verbally attacked my brother. Obviously, this was starting to get out of hand, so I asked my brother to leave and go. The manager was trying to solve an issue with her problem co-worker and getting nowhere with her. I think it’s wise to pick and choose your battles and not die on the hill for each and every encounter. Next week we will continue with dealing with difficult people in our lives. Anger is a real problem many of us face with loved ones and close friends in our lives. Dr. Mike will share some of his tips to help you win the battle with difficult people. Are you afraid to confront difficult people in your life? Do you have family members who are difficult to get along with? Do you fear family gatherings because of past run-ins with siblings, parents? Would you like a plan that can help you face difficult people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

A recent client of mine told me about how his wife had reconnected with an old boyfriend from high school through Facebook. They hadn’t seen each other in 38 years and considered each other their “first love.” As we all know, a “first love” is a strong bond to break especially when there was physical intimacy involved. He told me that her old boyfriend found her on Facebook and sent her a contact note. She responded back by telling him she was married and had four children. He wanted to hear more about her life and what she had been doing all those 38 years. Unbeknownst to her, he had been divorced twice and was thinking about her. Eventually, her marriage seemed unfulfilling to her too and unfortunately, she shared that with her ex-boyfriend. He was an engineer and had been divorced for three years. He wanted to reconnect with her, and she thought it would be nice to see him too. So she traveled to Ohio to meet him and never told her husband where she was going.



She just packed her bags for a “weekend getaway”. When she returned, she told her husband of 30+ years that she was divorcing him. She wanted out and had talked to a lawyer about putting the divorce together. She said their grown children that she was divorcing their father and told all kinds of lies about him. She also told the children that he was unfaithful and abusive towards her. The lies got even worse the more time she spent with her old flame talking on the phone and chatting on Facebook. With her lies, she turned her children and family against him. The lies were so destructive and painful he nearly had a nervous breakdown. He begged, pleaded, groveled, wept and cried to get her back. She destroyed this man’s life because of an affair she wanted and tried to justify it with her lies. This woman was very deceitful and filled with hate. When I met with this man at my office, he was beside himself.

He had nowhere to turn, and his children wanted nothing to do with him. His wife hated him and was bent on taking him down. He asked me, “Dr. Mike, where do I go from here? I have done nothing that she has accused me of. I have been faithful to her and loved her, but she always seemed unhappy. I’ve tried talking with her, planning vacations, etc., but it just never worked out. I even asked her to go to marriage counseling, which she refused. I know I wasn’t a perfect husband, but I tried everything possible to make her happy. “ He told me that he found out who the guy was, what kind of job he had and the type of people he was involved with. He also knew how many times he was divorced and even current relationships the man was involved in. He had all the emails they sent each other with the time and date stamps on them. He wanted to know why another man would take his wife away, knowing full-well she was still married. That was a fair question. Relationships can be so complex! They are hard to understand at times. “Who should get the blame,” he asked? I told him, “They both should. He shares in the equal responsibility. The reason you feel it’s more your wife’s fault is that she is the focal point of your pain.” If you suspect that your spouse/partner is reconnecting with a former girlfriend, boyfriend, lover, etc., you need to confront them immediately.

The longer you delay, the more damage there will be, and the possibility of your marriage will come to an end is likely. Confronting your spouse is not a bad thing – doing absolutely nothing is. You need a game plan when you talk to your spouse/partner. If you accuse them without knowing what you’re going to say, you’re headed for trouble so plan on that! More and more relationships have ended from social websites than ever before. If you are tempted to look up an old boyfriend or girlfriend, don’t. There is no reason to risk hurting your relationship with your spouse/partner by looking for past loves. Protect that relationship you’re in, guard it and enjoy it! Trying to rekindle a relationship with an old flame never works, especially if you’re in a committed relationship.

Do you suspect that your spouse has been cheating on you by using Facebook or Classmates.com? Have you seen the signs of them spending time texting excessively or on the computer? Do you need help in confronting your spouse/partners suspicious behavior? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow an old love to destroy your relationship. If your marriage has been threatened by or has ended because of a social media affair and you need someone to talk to, or need help in overcoming the pain you’re going through, please call Dr. Mike. He can help you. He has helped several people through the process of a broken relationship caused by social media infidelity. Master Life Coaching, Divorce Coaching, and counseling is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. Avoid travel time and never leave the comfort of your home to meet with me. I have many out-of-state clients who prefer to meet over the phone 303.456.0555303.456.0555 or via Skype (drmike45). The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live out of the Denver-metro area or are out of the state of Colorado.

How Important is Your Integrity? (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will continue on with our Integrity series and today’s series we will be talking about being honest in a serious relationship. For those of you who are in a serious relationship, here is a word of caution. I know you always want to keep your best foot forward, to look and show that you have your act together. We all want that and to have a wonderful relationship as we fall in love with that right person. Love is a wonderful thing and most of the time we want to look past peoples faults and believe all that they tell us. Am I wrong here? I don’t think so. When you’re in a serious relationship don’t keep secrets from each other. It’s best, to be honest from the get go. There are times when it’s appropriate to share things is a timely manner. As you get to know each other and that’s the fun part of growing a healthy relationship, building trust by sharing your dreams, visions, and goals. Being open about your past relationships, where you have trust issues and your communication style.

I had a friend who was not divorced but separated from his wife for one month. He instantly went to several dating sites and signed up. He went on several dates and got involved with one woman who adored him. He told her that he was single and dated her for several months. She fell in love with him and he proposed to her while still married. He never told her he was still legally married. I asked him did he tell her and he told me he did. In fact, he told several of us he was engaged to this woman, she had a 7-year-old daughter that also felt like this man was like a daddy to her. When we were all sitting around the table someone mentioned to this guy where was he at in the process of his divorce? She looked up and said in a loud voice “what divorce, I thought you said you were divorced!” You could have heard a pin drop, he looked at me than her and stared at me for the longest time while she was saying,” Are you divorced or not?” He stammered several times and avoided her question. The room cleared out and it was the three of us sitting there. She looked at him not taking her eyes off him at all. She wanted an answer immediately. Finally, he admitted that he was still married but going through a divorce. She got up and left immediately. First of all, he should have been upfront with her and she could have decided to continue on with the relationship.

I suggest that you’re honest and open about your past. Don’t keep secrets from each other. Honesty grows a relationship, deceit kills it.
• Be up front with your past, don’t hide it, if you do it will catch up with you
• Hiding things will cause you to have a deceitful heart
• Secrets will destroy your relationship and cause trust issues
• Keeping secrets will cause you to lie
• To keep a relationship healthy be an open book and be truthful when asked questions
• Be known as a man or woman of integrity
• You are in integrity when the life you are living on the outside matches who you are on the inside.

Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555 Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555 or 303.880.9878

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

How Important is Your Integrity? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue on with our Integrity series and todays series we will be talking about loyalty in your marriage. I have another saying for husbands, wives and partners and I believe it’s appropriate for today’s couples. “When the grass looks greener on the other side, it is God telling you to water the grass that you’re standing on.” You need to be committed to your own spouse and not someone else’s. In these day’s social media has a big impact on today’s divorces. It’s easy to find old boyfriends and girlfriends and never give it a second thought as you begin to get reacquainted with them, that you’re married. A person with integrity will not pursue an old flame. There is no reason too. Remain loyal to your spouse or partner. With the ease of no-fault divorces these days many are rushing to get a quick divorce. The hurt that they can do to their spouses and children because they are filing for a divorce without thinking of the consequences to themselves. So what I am suggesting is be loyal to your spouse, no matter how tempted you are. • Loyalty to your spouse/partner keeps you out of trouble • Good communication helps grow trusting relationships • Be loyal to your spouse/partner in front of your relatives, children, and friends • Being loyal means protecting and defending those you love • Let your spouse/partner know your loyal to them, they need to hear it • Loyalty to your spouse/partner is key in building a healthy relationship • One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555 Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week I will be giving you some tips that will help you understand why your words make can make a big impact on someone that may be down and struggling with personal issues. It’s pretty easy to avoid that someone you know that is always down. They keep struggling with life itself and can’t seem to get out of the hole they dug for themselves.

I always try to be uplifting and upbeat with everyone I meet. I noticed one day an old friend who was walking by my house. He seemed out of it and staring at the sidewalk as he moved down the street. I called out to him and walked over and talked with him. At first he seemed distant but then started to open up as we spoke. I invited him in for a soda and we talked for a few hours. I heard about his struggles, job loss, failed marriage. I just listened and when he was finished I told him how valuable he was to me and how I appreciated his friendship. I told him that he was loved by many and how he added value to their lives. I spoke the truth to him in a very positive way. Did I make a difference by speaking words of life into this broken man’s world? Read on…

I received a note from this man taped to my door. “Dear Mike, I want to thank you for taking the time to sit down and talk with me. Your encouraging words saved my life. I was on my way home to kill myself when you stopped me and listened to my world of hurt. Had you not walked over and spoke with me I was ready to end it all. Thank you for reaching out to me with your kind words they saved my life.”

Realize what you say to others in your life does make a difference. Don’t be afraid to reach out and say good things to people in need. You may never know who these people are but your words of encouragement breathe life into someone’s broken world.

• When you’re angry avoid speaking negative words
• Avoid confrontational conversations that create harsh words
• Speak truthfully but with compassion and understanding
• If you don’t have anything nice to say keep to yourself
• Be an encourager and know the words you speak can discourage or encourage people
• The words you use can change a person’s way they feel about themselves
• Once you speak and the critical words are out there you can’t take them back
• Constant criticism deflates a persons self-worth
• Be known as an encourager to your sphere of influence
• Ask the person that you’re speaking to if they understand your point of view
• Try being positive when speaking to children or teenagers
• Reach out to people who need encouraging words

These are simple tips that work and will help you speak life into the people’s lives that you are involved with. We have so many negative and critical people in our lives today that we can’t buy into their way of thinking. A kind word goes a long way in today’s world.

I think parents need to be less critical with their children and expose them to encouraging and uplifting words. I know how easy it is when parents get frustrated with their kids and start blasting away with angry words. We’ve all been there but the damage it causes can be devastating to our young children. If you feel that you’re starting to go down the road of condescending rhetoric then take a time out for yourself and rely on the game plan that you put together. This will head off the regrets of saying unpleasant words to your children. We know that our kids know how to push our buttons, but don’t allow them to do it. Speak life into your kids with encouraging words not harsh ones.

We have to remember that kids make plenty of mistakes growing up and to be understanding about that. I would love to see parents who sit down with their children and explain why mistakes should be learning lessons and not a time to be harsh and critical with them. Patience is very important when teaching our kids the right way to do things.

Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Have guidelines set in place, when you have that face to face meeting you will get to the heart of the matter without using hurting words to put your spouse down to prove a point. I believe that uplifting and encouraging words get much better results than your negative and condescending words. Keep in mind how you like to be spoken to. Most of us would rather be talked to in a civil and respectful manner. Always keep in mind that you have to be in control in what you say to someone or how you should respond to them.

I had a friend of mine who wanted his wife to learn how to shoot a handgun. They went to a shooting range so she could learn the basics of target shooting. I watched as he worked with her. He was getting frustrated by the minute as he tried to teach her to shoot a 22 pistol. He was being negative in his words and very condescending towards her. He said to her “our 10 year old son could figure this out, why can’t you?” this isn’t that hard he scolded her. She was extremely frustrated and said that she just wanted to go home. He was at his wits end. The range master heard what was going on and walked over to my friend and asked if he could help her. My buddy said “certainly, you’ll have no better luck then I did.”

I have to say the range master spoke encouraging words and worked with her step by step and she responded very well to his way of saying things to her. He didn’t berate her or speak negatively to her. She actually did a great job and was very comfortable in the way he taught her to shoot. This made all the difference in the world the way she was spoken to. Remember the way you speak to the people in your life is important in the way they respond to you. If you’re speaking positive words and uplifting words to those people you interact with you can expect to be treated well. On the other hand if your words are critical and negative you can expect poor results in most of your expectations and communication with that person and lack of respect towards you.

I watched a mother playing with her Down syndrome daughter at a park one day. The child was about 6 or 7 years of age. The mother was laughing while trying to teach her daughter how to sing (Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) they both giggled, smiled and the mother never gave up. The daughter was enjoying the connection she had with her mother. Could you imagine if the mother was harsh towards the daughter while teaching her to learn this simple song? I would like to give you some of my tips on how impactful your words can be towards others in your life like your spouse, family, friends, and co-workers.
Next week we will continue with our series The Power of Your Words Give Life or Death. Learn how to be uplifting to those in need with positive affirmation words. A single encouraging word can change a person’s life forever.

Do you need help in how to use uplifting words to those you know and you’re a negative person? Do you want to know how to respond to those who keep speaking negative words over you? Are hurting over a past relationship that someone said things that you still can’t get out of your mind? Do you need to move forward in your life but your still stuck with painful memories of what someone said to you or about you? If you answered yes to any of these questions give Dr. Mike a call and he can help you sort things out!

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.