I wonder how many of you want to have an affair or have considered having one? What would this look and feel like? How exciting it would be to have an affair? If nobody knows, who’s going to be hurt! Well, the truth of the matter is, many will be hurt, you, your spouse, children, family members and your close friends.

It may seem like fun at first, but then you realize that your not someone who sneaks around, your not dishonest, and you hate the guilt associated with being a cheater. Could you imagine what your children would say to you if they found out that you were cheating on mom or dad? Believe me, the people that I have talked to, are not dealing with the trust issue with their kids. The cold shoulder, the long stares, and the broken hearts are hard for parents to deal with, and no lover will ever convince you that the kids will be ok through your affair.

I watched a friend of mine, wife have an affair on him, the kids withdrew from the mother and really wanted nothing to do with her. It killed her that her children didn’t want to see her or be near her, but she kept right on with her affair. Since then she has been married several times and has no relationship with her children who now are adults. Is it worth it? I hope not, an affair is usually brief, takes everyone down with it, and leaves no victors, only victims. I have helped several people pick up the pieces of a broken relationship, its not fun. The broken hearts have to be a deterrent to most people. The only problem is they will see this after the fact, and its usually to late.

Having an affair may be exciting for a while, but most likely short lived, and very painful. I would say if your considering having an affair and have no one to talk to, I can coach you through the process of protecting yourself from the pain of having an affair and destroying your family and losing friends. How many of you have been hurt by your EX having an affair on you? Probably many of you! If you have any questions please PM me for additional information. If you need more help contact info below.

If you want to get more information about the Life Coaching Program, call me at 303.456.0555 or go to contact Dr. Mike to set up a free consultation. All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

I’m sure you have heard the horror stories from friends and family members “I caught my ex cheating on me and I taught him/her a lesson that they will never forget”. I often wonder how hasty revenge will help any chances of a reconciliation or peaceful break up. Breaking things, giving things away, spreading rumors, making phone calls to people is not a good thing. You will create a division with family members, your friends, acquaintances, its best to put together a game plan that will help you take the higher ground, and get good results for you!

Most revenge plans will blow up in your face, you will get a police record if you destroy property, hit, spit, push, throw things, slap, etc, your going to get finger printed and your picture taken. This will always be on your personal record and trying to get a good job with this kind of info just a click away on a “background check” on the Internet, well enough said, I’m sure you get the idea!

I suggest that you find someone you can trust and have this individual be your sounding board, run things past them that you unsure of, make sure that whoever you pick is not a vengeful person. If you pick someone that encourages you to get a divorce while they are in a troubled married, most likely they are using you and living through the advice they are giving you (usually bad). They don’t have the guts to do their own divorce, but will live through you while you do yours. I have seen this happen with several people, and they have regretted choosing a vengeful person to help them, so be careful. A well meaning friend can cost you lots of money with lawyers, the court system, and the loss of your marriage.

Here’s what to look for when finding a friend to be your sounding board, while discovering your spouse cheating.

• A level headed calm person who listens well.
• Someone who goes with facts and not feelings.
• Someone who seeks the marriage first and divorce second.
• Someone who will not rush you into anything that’s bad for your children.
• a person who will not encourage you to start dating out of revenge.
• A person who will encourage you to be truthful
• Someone who will encourage counseling and open communication with your spouse.

You may have a spouse that wants nothing to do with you, since they have been caught. My best suggestion, is to get counseling for yourself and children if they are involved, but certainly get counseling for yourself. Write out you biggest concerns and needs and wants in regards to ending your marriage. Find legal  counsel that will help you end the marriage in a equitable way. If you want help with putting together a game plan with this topic, contact info is below.

If you want to get more information about Life Coaching Program, call me at 303.456.0555 or go to contact Mike link to set up a free consultation. All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

I have to say when I got married, I had no clue what to expect, there was no manual, no DVD series on “How to be married”. Sure, you have the get to know your spouse stage, but this is supposed to be for keeps, you said a vow!

When you had a fight while you were dating, you went to your friends for comfort and then you hung out and then went home. In marriage when you have a fight, you either go to your bedroom, garage or bathroom to hang out, and wait till someone surrenders. Does that sound like you?

Well, there are many things that will help a marriage grow, learning how to fight, learning how to confront, and learning how to keep your mouth shut. We are all guilty of speaking out of turn, and not listening. Some of the reasons we stick our foot in our mouth is out of shear stupidity.

Think about the most ridiculous fight you have ever had with your spouse. Look back and think, what caused it? Most of the fights couples have is because of misunderstandings. I suggest before you ring the bell for the first round, you better be careful what you say. Taste the words you are about to speak, because you may eat those words after you speak them. “Weigh what you say”, is a saying I tell people that I counsel. If you are saying things just to be heard, then you better say nothing!

Make a game plan with your spouse before you have an argument, no name calling, no bringing up the past, stick with the facts that apply to your disagreement. Some folks in the heat of an argument, will bring up the past (1,5,10 years ago) while the other person has no clue what you are talking about, and why is the past being brought in a current argument they will ask?

Have a cooling off period (a few hours if needed), write down your points of contention while you cool off, then when your ready, sit across from each other and talk. There’s no reason to raise your voice, shout, scream and belittle the other person, after all what does this accomplish? Nothing at all.

Listen to the other person while they talk, and don’t interrupt them. Really listen to what they are saying, when they are done, then respond with respect. The secret of winning for both sides, is compromising. There does not have to be a loser, both can be winners. When you work on a marriage relationship, it takes time and effort to make it happen. If you have any idea’s that you would like to share with this blog, they would be greatly appreciated.

I get lots of calls from people who are having a tough time deciding if they should stay in a bad marriage or not. “What’s the point of staying in it” I often hear. Well, that’s entirely up to you. The death of a marriage effects everyone on both sides of the family, parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, grand children, close friends, etc.

My question to you is, are you willing to make it work, go through the steps of reconciliation? Are you in love with your ex, or do you despise them and want nothing to do with them? A lot of divorced and separated individuals never wanted the divorce or the separation. Do you want to try again? Can you save your marriage alone? In some cases I believe you can, I have seen it happen numerous times, it takes lots of work and dedication, but it can happen.