My third worst day ever in my life was when I was a freshman in high school. I was often late for my first hour class in the fall of my freshman year. I went to a large high school on the south side of Chicago, in the suburb of Park Forest. My high School was Rich East. The teachers when I went to high school were tough as I can remember, they followed the rules by the book, they didn’t take any nonsense, you never argued with them. The kids today would have a difficult time following the rules we had to live by. I’m sure many of you remember dress codes, never arguing with your teacher, you never chewed gum in class! You would get sent to the principle if you got into any trouble, no second chances. We didn’t have all the things kids have in our schools today to get us into trouble.

OK, so here is my number two worst mistake of my life. Folks I want you to know that I am human just like the rest of you. We all have struggles and go tough times. Each one of us if time permitted could sit and share some pretty bad experiences, and how we lived through them.

My number two begins on a Friday afternoon, I had just got back from taping a fishing show that I was hosting. It was a hot August afternoon, and I wanted to get something to eat, so I asked my wife if she would like to go to Red Robin restaurant for a late lunch. She agreed and we went and had lunch, we talked and had a great time. I was getting tired from being in the sun all morning and wanted to take a shower, so I asked if she would mind if we left. Can we please talk some more she asked? OK, what would you like to talk about I responded. Well, I would like to talk about buying a house and would like some of your thoughts on it. Now, keep in mind that we had been looking at houses for several months. As we talked, I listened to her needs in a house and what we could afford. This went on for some time, then as she finished up, I said are you ready to go home, I really need a shower. As we walked out of Red Robin, she asked if we could go a different route home to drive by some homes she wanted to see. I said sure, lets go!

I was asked to go down certain streets with no for sale signs at all, I looked down streets left and right, and would see a for sale sign way off in the distance, I would turn down that road, and she would get out of the car and grab a brochure giving information about the house. This went on for about 45 minutes and finally I said, we are going home, that I was needing a shower and to get some rest! She didn’t seem to happy about that!

As I drove home, and we turned down our street, my wife became very uncomfortable and uneasy, the closer I got home the more nervous she became. When I was within a 100 yards of our driveway, I saw several pick-up trucks backed up to our house, with people running out of the house with boxes and furniture and putting them into the bed of pick-up trucks. As I pulled into our driveway, she turned towards me and said “we have to talk”, I was in shock, seeing our belongings being taken out of our home. I was outraged beyond belief, I opened my mouth and nothing came out, I was speechless for the first time in years!

Can you imagine what was going through my mind? My life flashed before my eyes. I turned to my wife with tears rolling down my face, why??? She came up with a flurry of excuses, and got out of the car. I was so embarrassed by how she handled this. I thought to myself, what would our friends and neighbors think? What would her children tell their friends. Her 18 year old son was the one who had all his friends with pick-up trucks help in the sneaky move. When I got out of the car, I walked into our home. Nothing remained but the TV, and a leather recliner, my oak dinning room table, and the bed down stairs and end tables. Everything else was removed. I had a million questions, with little time to talk. She said that she would be in contact with me and that she was moving to a much smaller apartment. That didn’t ease my pain at all.

I went in and sat down at the oak table, and was going to call a friend. I picked up the phone and it was dead, she even shut that down. My wife had many emotional issues she never dealt with. Unfortunately, I was the one who got traumatized by them.

The next several weeks were a blessing, I healed quickly, I found out that I had many friends who really cared about me, but didn’t want to come over to the house because of her. Many were relieved, even some of my family members were happy.

I wasn’t the only one who got this treatment. I was riding home from a class one evening, listening to Focus on The Family on the radio. The guest they had on that evening was Jill Brisco from Elmbrook church in Brookfield, Wisconsin. She was talking about those hurt in divorce. She was mentioning about a woman who was her attendant at a conference she was asked to speak at. She described the woman as very attractive, and very nice. The second night Jill Brisco asked her if she was married, the woman responded, no she was not. Jill said to her, your very beautiful and why aren’t you married? She explained to Jill that she was once married, and was divorced now. She started to tell her story about how her and her husband went out on a date night, she explained that it was a wonderful time, they talked and laughed together, she was so happy. After dinner they headed home and as he was driving up the driveway, he asked if she would get the mail. She got out of the car and got the mail while he went up the driveway and into the house. As she went to the front door and tried to open it, and it was locked. So, she knocked and knocked and her husband never answered the door. She got on her tippy toes and looked into the house from the top of the front door window. The furniture was gone, she had no clue what happened. That’s when I said “oh, boy..I know what happened” I knew he did the same thing that my ex did to me, and she went on with the story that finally her husband opened the door and said that she was no longer living there and that the furniture she had was placed in the garage, and that she should have someone help her out, by moving it out of the garage. I felt her pain for sure!

My number two mistake was not listening to my gut feeling, I could have avoided this mess by getting out earlier, and moving on. The pain that I went through was unnecessary. So, I would have to say, I should have listened to my family and friends, to get out. You don’t get medals of honor for being stupid in this life. You survive by listening to your heart and taking action. If you feel that you are in a bad situation, with no hope, then you should flee as fast as you can. Seek help for your situation and take action. If you need help in making a plan and having someone that can help you carry it out, call me. I can help you through the process. Check out Mike’s blog and share some of your stories or help some of the people who need encouragement. The blog e-mail address is Blog: https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/

If you would like some help in dealing with stress issues in your life, you can contact Mike at 303.456.0555. If you need more information about the Professional Accountability Partner Program, call 303.456.0555 or go to contact Mike link to set up a free consultation appointment. My website is www.applicablecoaching.com all calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

As the unending saga of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford continues to unspool across the mainstream news media and the web, it can be daunting to try to keep up with the details. He said, she said seems to be the way this is headed. I can tell you that this will get real ugly as soon as details are released. What would posses a well known governor to be so foolish to think he would not be missed at the office, by his family, or the press, just shows you how much a man’s libido will cause him to make some foolish mistakes. I have worked with many men, who have just about destroyed their marriages, lives of their children, law and medical practices, careers and businesses over an affair. Are you headed down this road? Do you want help in solving and saving your neck? This governor has some major damage control to deal with, he will be a lucky man if his wife takes him back. The press can eat you alive along with your enemies (co-workers, ex family members, ex-wifes, ex-friends) I have seen this happen more then I care to talk about. It happens all the time. So, if your tempted to stray, or are searching the Internet, personal want ads, Craig’s list, etc and know that its wrong and you want help in preventing going down that road, let me know. I can keep you out of trouble. Even if you are involved in a relationship that you know is wrong and want to get out of it, I can help salvage your marriage, your career, and your reputation.

That said, here is a guide to the most detailed coverage of the once-rising Republican star’s strange infidelity scandal. Keep in mind, that your libido will get you into serious trouble, if you can’t keep it in check. Case in point, I have seen monster bucks chase does during the day, and will be so focused, will run right by a hunter. Usually whitetail and mule deer, and elk will use all their senses to keep them away from hunters. These animals use their sight, hearing and scents to keep them out of a hunters freezer. But, during the rut, they are stupid, and blind to any serious danger that they normally will be weary of.

The State, Columbia, South Carolina’s daily newspaper, has been at ground zero of the case, indirectly triggering Sanford’s admission Wednesday that he had been having an affair with a woman in Argentina. Some knew of his deep dark hidden secret, Mark Sanford’s wife asked the governor to leave two weeks ago, so she knew. His aids didn’t know, as they told the press and other staffers at the governors office that he took a trip along the Appalachian Trail to unwind and get some much needed time alone to think about his future. His wife had some idea where he was, in fact she asked her husband to stop seeing the other woman. He thought he could get away with his ruse, it didn’t work. Do you honestly think that you can get away with cheating? You will be found out sooner or later. So, get some needed help to keep you out of trouble, so you don’t lose everything!

Prodded by an anonymous tip, a reporter for the newspaper staked out the Atlanta airport Wednesday morning .. and promptly ran into Stanford getting off a flight from Buenos Aires. You cannot keep your hidden secrets from the press, or loved ones, they will find you out. Why so many men and women think they are smarter and witty keeping their secrets is beyond me. Listen to me, please! If you want help now, and want to stop hurting those you love and care about, make a phone call for help. I will walk with you through the process, help you take your life back, and see you through the other side of being happy and alive again. The next step is up to you, I’m sure that you don’t want to be another statistic of divorce or separation like the Governor of South Carolina. So, go ahead and make that call.

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Life Coaching & Counseling Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell:    303.880.9878
Fax:     303.697.9409

What was the worst day of your life?

I have several that seem to be tied in my top number one priority list. There is a reason why I am asking this question. If you think about it, how did you handle the worst day of your life? What kept you on track and focused, or did you collapse underthe stress of your situation? Are you still feeling the sting of your misfortune? Well, let’s look at some of my biggies and see how you feel about yours after seeing mine!

My biggest if not the one that rocked my world with the most pain is when my dad died unexpectedly at the age of 69. My dad was a career military man, he spent 30 + years in the army, towing his wife and 4 children along around the world. I didn’t get to know my dad like most of you knew yours. My dad was gone most of the time on army business, and I never got to know him like I wanted. If you only knew how I wanted a dad like Ward Cleaver of Leave It To Beaver, Ozzie Nelson of the Ozzie and Harriet Show or Jim Anderson on Father Knows Best. I longed for my dad to be like the TV Dad’s that did stuff with their kids. I didn’t get to know my dad until I was out of college, and well after he retired from the army.

We got to know each other through our fishing trips to northern Minnesota, during the summer. I ate up any time with my dad, just spending some time with my dad helped me understand and get to know him better. I started calling him and checking in on him week to week as we got to know each other. The only time I would spend with him was when Christmas rolled around, I would head to Chicago from Watertown, Wisconsin, stay a few days and head back home. This went on for several years.

Then in March of 1984, I called and ask to speak to my dad, my mom said he was on errands and would be back later in the afternoon. I called later and she said that he just left and was at the grocery store. Every time I called the house he was never there, my mom always had an excuse for him not being home. Then, I flat out asked what is going on, and where is dad? She finally broke down and said that he was in the hospital with some kind of infection. Ok, which hospital I asked! She told me and I called him from the clinic I was working at. He answered the phone in his room and I asked him what’s going on. My dad said that the doctors had found a lung infection, and were keeping him in isolation. I asked him if they thought it was tuberculosis? He said that they thought so, and would keep him a few more days. I told my dad I would call him back the next day. That’s when I found out that he had lung cancer.

I asked my dad one of the dumbest questions I have ever asked, “dad, how do you feel after the doctor telling you that you have lung cancer”? He said that he was going to fight this and get better, so he could go fishing. My dad lived for walleye fishing in Minnesota his boyhood state. He had over 50 years experience of fishing, and lived for it each summer since he retired from the army.

So, dad and I had to talk about his options for treatment, one was Chemo, another radiation, or surgery with Chemo. My dad opted for the partial lung removal surgery. We talked about it, went through the risks with the lung specialists, his family doctor and then picked a day for surgery. The operation went incredibly well, recovery went fine, he was healing well. He went home 5 days after the surgery, and was talking about his fishing trip in May as he did his Physical therapy. I spent a few days with my parents making sure everything in place and him being comfortable. I then headed back to Wisconsin.

My wife and daughter went to church that Wednesday evening. I had just got back from men’s softball practice when I decided that I would give my mom a call just to see how my dad was doing. When we talked she said that his blood pressure was down a little bit and that he would be fine, but they had to admit him just to make sure he was OK. I didn’t want to call him at the hospital and bother him, so I went and sat down in my chair and rested. 20 minutes later the phone rang, I picked it up only to hear my sister screaming on the other end of the line that “DAD WAS DYING, DAD IS DYING”. Then she hung up the phone! Can you imagine what would go through someone’s mind after getting that kind of phone call, and not being able to ask questions! I paced the floor, and started making bargains with God, just to keep my dad alive so I could drive down to Chicago and say good-bye to him. Your mind, body, even your soul goes ballistic, nothing makes any sense, your world is torn apart, and then you ask why..why..why??? The doctors said that he would have a long a fruitful life, he would enjoy years of walleye fishing in Minnesota, and enjoy watching his family grow up. I walked in circles on the main floor wondering what was going on, then the phone rang, my heart raced with the fear of bad news I was going to hear. I slowly picked up the phone and placed the receiver to my ear, only to hear my oldest brother say in an exasperated and quivering voice that “dad is gone”. I dropped the phone and fell to my knees and started to sob, just as my 6 year old daughter walked into the front door with my wife right behind her. She jumped on my back and started to cry as well, not knowing why her daddy was crying. I explained through the tears that her grandpa had just died.

When I had time alone and composed myself, I asked God what was the purpose of taking my dad just when I was starting to get to know him as an adult? That night I drove my family down to Chicago to be with my mom and help her out with funeral arrangments. The funeral plans were made the next day, and our family waited for the Friday evening visitation the next day. At the visitation is when I found out that my dad was a wonderful and incredible man from people I never knew. Many of my dads friends came up to me and had told stories on how my dad helped them in so many ways. He gave money when people were down on their luck, he brought grocery’s for many who had no food, he drove several to doctor appointments. He was always there for anyone who needed his help. I knew that his life made a difference for many hurting and unloved people and he was loved by many.

So, as we look at the worst day of our lives, what was yours? How did you deal with it? Do you use your bad experiences to help others who are going through the same process? Or do you sit back and say or do nothing? Many of us struggle with bad days, and many who have suffered similar circumstances will sit silent on the sidelines knowing that they have some wisdom in helping a friend or a family member through a tough time, but do absolutely nothing.

How can we help those who are going through tough times?

1#. Be an encourager, let those who are hurting know that you are available to talk anytime.
2#. Be a listener, do not try to fix anything, just simply listen and hear what they have to say.
3#. Offer advice if asked, only if you are asked. Don’t interject any of your idea’s and thoughts, you don’t have all the details and don’t know the entire history, so stay out of it.
4#. Call and check on your friend or family member often, let them know that you care and are available for them.

These are a few steps to take to help those around you who need your help. If you are struggling with big hurts and want someone to guide you through the process of taking back your life, you can contact me and set up an appointment to talk. You can contact Mike at 303.456.0555, If you need more information about the Professional Accountability Partner Program or Mike’s other services, call him at 303.456.0555 or go to contact Mike link to set up a free consultation appointment. My website is www.applicablecoaching.com all calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

Check out Mike’s new and exciting Blogs at applicablecoaching.com/blog/, if you want to share your story about your worst day ever, let me hear from you on Worst day ever blog. You never know how your story may help and encourage someone in need.

Watching people lose their cool on both sides of the counter.

I received a crisis call for my immediate help in North Carolina, for a couple needing two crisis relationship Coaching sessions. “Mike, we need your help in repairing our marriage the caller asked, can you please come, we arenear a divorce and my wife wants to leave tonight?” Sure, I said, I will check with a friend to see if he can help me out with a buddy pass, and let you know when I am coming, and then hung up. I thought for a moment, did I just say that I would get a buddy pass?? Am, I out of my mind? I remembered the last time I got one, being on stand-by is a crap shoot, do you remember me saying that? You rarely connect with a flight you need to be on, and you sit around a lot waiting to have your name called to get a boarding pass. I am a people watcher and enjoy watching people interact with each other. So, I guess it was worth it for me to be on standby and observe people the around me.

So, I took the buddy pass from my friend and headed to North Carolina. On my return trip to Chicago while trying to connect on a flight to Denver, I was able to watch what 100 plus over booked passengers on one flight, will do to get on a Sunday afternoon flight to Denver. I sat back in my seat that Sunday afternoon figuring that I wouldn’t get on this flight and wanted to observe how people would react when their names were not called to board this flight to Denver. When I entered my name to the confirm/waiting list and saw my name number #6 with 22 seats available, I was feeling pretty good. As the crowd grew at the boarding gate an hour prior to my flight, my number #6 listing began to drop, I was now at #33. People were whispering and complaining, how could this airline over book so many people on one flight? When I looked up at the stand-by list 15 minutes later, I was now # 68 with 10 seats available. The crowd grew larger by the minute, and the complaining was getting very vocal. I sat and watched people checking their watches from time to time, looking at loved ones with frowns on their faces, rubbing their foreheads, and giving long sighs while looking at the ceiling. You could hear the ticket agent asking for names of passengers over the intercom to come forward to confirm their status. I looked again at the stand-by list, I was now #93 with 4 seats available. I laughed silently to myself and knew that I was staying at O’Hare airport until there was room for me on any flight to Denver. I overheard one couple arguing that they were going to miss a big birthday bash in Denver, while another wanted to get some rest before going back to work, they just returned back from vacation. The ticket agent continued to ask for passengers to come forward to check in. I again looked at the stand-by list, it was now at 107 people.

One of the ticket agents started to call First class passengers in a muffled voice over the intercom to get in line for boarding. Several quickly got up and started to get in line, many dressed in executive suits, many elderly, and some plain folks just like you and I. As they began to board first class, some people tried cutting in line and got caught with a economy boarding pass, and were turned away. This is where it got very interesting. I watched the faces of those with first class tickets, many smirked and laughed out loud, as the unwanted passenger walked away. They acted as if it was a class privilege to make facial expressions and giggle about someone being asked to leave the first class boarding line.

Me, I could care less who sits where, first class has some perks, but most in first class seldom will talk with you, unless they got a free first class seat, and didn’t realize that any seat in first class is sacred possession. I have noticed this over the past several months of traveling. I sat next to one guy in first class several weeks ago, I introduced myself and he turned his head away and sat back, and never said a word.

The flight to Denver took off with 103 stand-by’s waiting at the gate..many stunned, and now the war began between ticket agents and passengers headed to Denver. We were told to go to gate B-19 and wait until 5:45 PM for the next flight. I arrived at the gate after a twenty minute walk and was amazed that there was standing room only, not a seat available, I recognized several passengers that were at the other gate. I looked at the stand by list and saw that I was #77 on the list with 15 seats available. Not a good sign for me. The plane was to board in one hour, now the tension began to grow and people were getting upset. I went to the ticket agent to report in, and waited in line. The passengers ahead of me and the ticket agents were starting to trade barbs with each other.

I was shocked to hear two ticket agents, blasting passengers with cutting sarcastic remarks. The passengers on the other hand were provoking the ticket agents with unrelenting attacks towards the airlines and insensitive  employees behind the ticket counter. The ticket agents and the passengers fueled off of each other and went to low blows before the plane boarded. The flight to Denver had taken off with 100+stand-by’s told to head to the next gate on Concourse C. This flight left for Denver at 10:10 PM.

Someone must have warned the three ticket agents that the crowd headed to Denver were not to be taken lightly. I think this airline beefed up thick skinned ticket agents who would love to trade insult for insult, and by golly they did. Whack for whack, attack for attack. It was pretty bad, I have to say, no calm in the midst of the storm for sure. I wondered whatever happened to customer service, when did that disappear? I can remember when people bent over backwards to help you out if you did business with them. Do you remember the days when service with a smile greeted you at a Sears, Montgomery Wards, or at your favorite local family restaurant. Well my friends, I think for the most part these days are long gone.

So, how do you deal with someone who could careless about you as a customer and is serving you at a store or restaurant? Do you engage in verbal combat, and try to get even or deal with them in an adult manner? I know some adults who would welcome debating, arguing and proving their case and put down anyone who disagrees with them, and I am sure you do as well.

My suggestion is not to argue with clerks, wait-staff or anyone in a management position, just state your case, the reason you are upset, no raising your voice, no finger pointing, be calm and ask what they can do to accommodate your inconvenience. Some will work with you and give you a price break, free meal, others will blow you off. A soft answer will turn away someone with a chip on their shoulder. If you get no satisfaction, then write a formal letter and be done with it. So many want to carry the battle on, until they win. Folks, its not worth the battle or waste of energy to pursue something that will go nowhere. If there was bodily harm, food borne illness, a fall, etc. Then proceed by all means. If you don’t get any satisfaction or results from your letter, then stop going to the place that you patronize and were offended, and find another place.

I finally flew out the next morning at 9:00 AM, very tired but so much the wiser for watching people in difficult situations. Watch, listen and enjoy watching those around you, they will teach you plenty.