Meet Divorce Coach, Accountability Coach & Marriage Coach, Dr. Michael Brooks
What is your definition of a Life Coach?
This is a great question and one I am asked many times. The best definition of a Life Coach is someone who has traveled down the road our clients are about to embark upon and tap into lessons learned from past mistakes, misfortune and failures. We draw out old ways of thinking, bad habits, hurts and hang-ups and discover new ways of achieving a fulfilled life. A Life Coach can help a client look at the consequences that may result in a life-changing decision and evaluate the best plan of action.

For me, Life Coaching flows out of my own story. Growing up in an abusive, alcoholic home, I bring an awareness and understanding of human pain and suffering. I also understand and share the fundamental steps that need to be taken to effectuate a happy, successful life. I see myself as a lifeline and a source of wisdom and knowledge as I help my clients find their way to a better understanding and appreciation for life. Timing and sensitivity is essential in addressing the issues my clients face. I partner with them as they work through their challenges.

What types of coaching do you provide?
There are three areas of coaching that I am passionate about. My first area of expertise is Divorce Coaching. As a divorced person who did not want to divorce, I have personally experienced the aftermath and devastation. Divorce coaching can be tough! I’ve heard the sad stories, witnessed the grief and have felt my client’s pain. When a client considers the effects of a pending divorce, they experience shock, disbelief, denial, anger, and the loss of their spouse. As a Divorce Coach I help my clients through all of these emotions. I strive to understand their personal life experiences and ask questions that lead them to the answers they’re looking for. This is when they start seeing progress. If necessary, I collaborate on their behalf with their divorce attorney. I also coach couples and individuals who are contemplating divorce and aide those currently going through the process as well those who have been divorced, but have yet to recover from it. The issues I have identified in divorce coaching are as follows:

Managing the early emotions of divorce.
Moving towards acceptance of divorce.
Processing the grief and loss.
Understanding the grief cycle.
Forgiveness and letting go.
Building a new life.
New beginnings and the 5 keys to starting over.
Barriers to new relationships.
Finding new relationships.
Living successfully in blended families.
The second area of expertise is Accountability Coaching. This service is offered exclusively to professionals, including athletes, doctors and lawyers. Accountability Coaching helps prevent the trouble that often follows professionals such as run-ins with the law, cheating spouses, bad attitudes, bad behavior and any other behavior that can land them in a negative spotlight. Accountability Coaching can be very difficult when dealing with professionals. Many have money and fame and very few people to hold them accountable for their actions and lifestyle. Over the years I have coached professionals from all walks of life and have found their attitudes are very similar. They have wants, desires and needs that sometimes get them in trouble. My job is to steer them away from the behavior the frenzied news media loves to report and coach them to live lives worthy of honor and respect. Many professionals need someone that will confront them and help them stay the course. As an Accountability Coach, these are a few of problems professionals face:

Establishing a strong and positive support system.
Goal setting, planning and positive decision-making regarding family and career.
Dealing with life under the spotlight where “Image is Everything”.
Keeping relationships healthy with a spouse/partner, children and family.
Preventing affairs in the work place that destroy family, reputation and career.
Finally, the third area of expertise is Marriage Coaching. Couples contact me for Marriage Coaching when they are interested building a better marriage or improving a marriage that may be failing. As a Marriage Coach I help couples strengthen their marriages by giving them the tools they need to improve communication, create the marriage they have always wanted, and help them find the secrets to a deeper love. I see couples with unresolved anger and witness the negative results of what I call “marital disease.” Many couples have no idea how their anger produces distance between them which ultimately sabotages their marriage. My goal in Marriage Coaching is to teach couples how to use the power of forgiveness to heal and resolve problems. Over the years I have seen how forgiveness improves and strengthens relationships. With a 50% divorce rate in first-time marriages, we need Marriage Coaches trained to help couples build strong, lasting relationships.

Why did you become a life coach?
While treating patients in my sports rehabilitation practice, I would take time to talk and get acquainted with them. Many wanted to share their personal struggles and find ways to solve their problems. Most patients would talk about broken relationships and failed marriages and needed advice but had nowhere to turn for answers. I learned to listen over the course of 25+ years and realized I was drawn to being a caring Life Coach. Listening and then painting a realistic picture for them was fulfilling to me. Simply speaking, I care about people and I want to help them.

When should a person consider working with a Life Coach?
When they’re not sure what they need to do or when they get that “deer- in-the-headlights” look. This is the beginning stage where most people need a life coach to help them through the minefields of life. More often than not, many will make some mistakes before they realize they need a Life Coach. I’ll be there to help them pick up the pieces of their shattered marriages, dreams, and broken expectations of life. Most of my clients say that when they hit bottom is when they decided to get help and called me.

Who is your ideal client?
My ideal client is anyone who walks through my office door or calls or Skype’s me. No matter who they are or what they have done, I am here for them. An ideal client is someone who is open, honest, straightforward, and will allow honest communication to foster a strong Coach and client relationship.

About Dr. Michael Brooks:
Applicable Solutions Life Coaching Services is led by founder Michael Brooks Ph.D., AACC Board Certified BCBC Counselor, LCI Certification and AACC Board Certified BCMCLC Master Life Coach. Mike utilizes his coaching skills of 25 years in the areas of Personal and Marriage Relationships, Divorce Coaching and Professional Accountability.

Mike’s background is steeped in all kinds of endeavors: living in Europe as a child, raised in an alcoholic home, and being an Army brat. He was a college athlete, a college football coach, a corporate business owner, a health practitioner(retired 18 years ago), a counselor, a regular guest on radio and television shows, a writer, author and seminar speaker. Mike has been involved with and impacted many lives across the country. Mike’s clients will tell you he is a great encourager, very compassionate, a good listener and is goal oriented and he gets lasting results.

I think one of the hardest things that I have ever had to go through as an adult was when I was a health practitioner (retired 18 years ago), then became a patient from a serious accident. Until I was a patient, I’d never imagined the pain and struggles that my patients went through. I had to learn how to walk again after my accident. I went through months of operations and rehab. It was hard getting up and starting over each day. I think that’s where I best expressed mercy to others…I was able to encourage others while I was going through rehab myself. I knew that I was making a difference in people’s lives. I wanted to make them laugh and focus on getting better. I love using humor as I work with clients. It’s a medicine all by itself!

What have I learned from working with all kinds of people? Personally, I can help you dig deep into struggles that you face everyday and help you see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve been in your shoes, and I know that if you have someone who can walk with you each and every step, the road is much easier to travel.

In my rehab clinic, I treated athletes and walk-in patients. I spent lots of time with my clients while treating them. We often talked about everyday problems they were facing: bad relationships, health issues, and business decisions. I felt for these people, and we would engage in problem-solving while they were being treated for specific injuries. That’s where my coaching began: 25 years ago with my patients. Listening to their needs, problem-solving, educating and making a game plan that would work for them! Going to a university will get you the skills that you need to build a foundation for your career, but sitting down face-to-face or on the phone and getting to know that person you want to help, can’t be learned in a classroom. You get that by building relationships!

Do you have a hard time in taking control of difficult issues in your life, do your events control you, you don’t control them? Have you been afraid to put together a plan for your divorce? Do you need someone to hold you accountable for the negative things you do to yourself or others? Do you need help in making your marriage better? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you plan on how to deal with the problems that effect your divorce, accountability issues, and improve your marriage. I will help you put a working plan together that will help you deal with life’s issues and get things resolved.

You can go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/

In addition, online/phone Master Life Coaching is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment, from the privacy of your own home. Avoid the travel and time it takes to get my office. Since you never have to leave the comfort of your own home to meet with me, your anonymity and privacy is completely secured and protected. I have many out of state clients who prefer this means of coaching, this is the most effective means for Life Coaching for those of you who live out of the Denver-metro area or are out of the state of Colorado. I also have skype, its another way to set up a meeting so we can talk, contact me if your interested in setting up a skype appointment.

If you want to get more information about the Life Coaching Program, call me at 303.456.0555 or e-mail Dr. Mike at mike@applicablecoaching.com  to set up a free consultation. All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

Do I really want a divorce? By Dr. Michael Brooks

Divorce can be an ugly word when you’re on the receiving end of getting served papers. One of the heartbreaking aspects of my job is helping couples who are contemplating divorce. There are many reasons why people divorce. Some of their reasons are valid, some are not.

When people decide to marry most never consider the possibility of ever getting divorced. Let’s face it, you invite your friends and family to your wedding to witness your vows being said to each other promising to betogether for better or for worse, in sickness and health, for richer or poorer, till death do you part! Never will you hear the preacher ask, “Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife until you decide to divorce?” Of course not! Divorce can be of the most painful experiences you will ever encounter outside the death of a loved one. If you honestly think about it, divorce is like a death. The difference, obviously, is your ex spouse will always be in your life especially if you have children together.

Why do couples divorce? I am asked that many times during marriage counseling. There are many reasons. One of the major reasons I’ve discovered is that couples fail to communicate with each other. As one person shuts down the other may try to share feelings and concerns. It’s painful to have your spouse ignore you when you’re trying to make peace and repair the relationship. Communication can help ease the pain of common difficulties we all face including financial stress, health issues, and problems with in-laws. Openly communicating with each other can get to the heart of the matter. Most couples that shut down do so to control the situation and ultimately realize that strategy doesn’t work.

Case in point, a woman came to my office for counseling and divorce coaching. She wanted a divorce and was not interested in reconciliation. When I asked her why she began to weep, “He will not talk to me about the problems in our relationship. I want to know what I’ve done wrong but he won’t tell me.” To her, this was a simple request. Her husband’s refusal to communicate with her led her to believe her marriage was over. I reassured her I would schedule a meeting with her husband to explore his reasons for avoiding meaningful conversation with her.

A week later I met with her husband and asked him why he wasn’t communicating with his wife. He acknowledged the fact and stated that he never saw his parents communicating with each other and didn’t have the skills needed to communicate with his wife. I asked him, “How did that work for your parents?” He admitted they rarely spoke to each other during their marriage. “Seeing how that didn’t work for your mom and dad, why would you use that tactic now? Your wife has been trying to talk with you and you have shut her out of your life. She wants a divorce. Is that what you want?” I asked. “Of course not”, he said. “I just don’t know how to talk to her anymore. She argues over every little thing!” I’m sure we all have been in his shoes where we argue and have disagreements once in a while with our spouse. I discovered later one that she used arguing as a way to get his attention.

There are many reasons why people justify divorce. Let’s look at some of the obvious ones:
• Physical and Internet affairs.
• Pornography additions (affects both men and women).
• Financial concerns.
• Serious long-term health issues.
• No longer in love.
• Addiction to drugs, food, alcohol, sex.
• Religious differences.
• Step children.
• Educational background differences.
These are just a few of the reasons for divorce. I’m sure you can add a few of your own to this list. If you’re thinking about getting a divorce take time to look at the divorce process from the very first steps to the final decree. That’s what we will explore in this series of articles titled “Deciding to Divorce.” We will cover what you can expect including the pros and cons of your decision. Yes, divorce can be painful. I have counseled many people over the years and have heard the heart-breaking confessions of many who regretted starting divorce procedures and the consequences that went with it. Be careful relying on friends for advice. Although well-meaning, friends don’t always give the best advice and can prove deadly to a fragile marriage.

A previous client of mine told me how she shared some of the baggage of her failing marriage with a close friend. Her friend also confided with her about her own bad marriage and proceeded to encourage my client to file for divorce. Her friend convinced her she would be free to date, start a new life and meet the man of her dreams. As I listened I knew what was happening. Her friend didn’t have the courage to change her own situation, but encouraged my client to do so. She was living her fantasies through my client’s divorce. My client got her divorce and every bit of pain that went with it. Several months after her divorce was final she told me she regretted what she had done. It was killing her inside. She realized she had kicked the man of her dreams by the roadside when she divorced him. The dating scene was awful and she had to find a job. She wanted her life back with her husband but he had moved on. Her life was in shambles.

In this series, I will help you examine the process of getting divorced. We’ll take a close look at what to expect and will share critical information you need to know. If you or your spouse is considering divorce, prior to making that final, life-changing decision, please call me. I can help you prepare for your divorce.

Are you experiencing a difficult time in your marriage and need help? Is your spouse avoiding talking with you about the problems in your marriage? Are you struggling with the execution and planning of your divorce? Would you like to learn communication tools that are helpful when talking with your spouse about repairing your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you. Give me a call today!

You can go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/
Master Life Coaching is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. Avoid travel time and never leave the comfort of your home to meet with me. I have many out-of-state clients who prefer to meet over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live out of the Denver-metro area or are out of the state of Colorado. Your privacy is guaranteed.
For more information or to schedule a free consultation, call or email me at 303.456.0555 or mike@applicablecoaching.com. All calls are confidential and your privacy is guaranteed.

I remember waiting in line, long before computers were a part of registering for college, looking at the sign-up sheet for college classes. As an 18 year old freshman I had no clue what to expect as I waited my turn to talk to a counselor. The people who waited in line were like me, new and nervous. The lady behind the counter called my name. As she looked through her stack of papers I was relieved  when she found my information. She asked me what classes I wanted to sign up for. I told her English, Psychology 101, humanities, statistics, and American history. As she checked the list of classes that were still available, she said two of my choices were not open to freshman students.

I blankly stared at her and asked,” What do I need to do?” She said, “‘Well, you will need to take a speech class!” I stumbled over my words and in a shaky voice said, “I have to take speech?? ”  “Yes” she replied, “you do!” I felt sick to my stomach. I hated speech class! Until now, I had successfully avoided any class that would require public speaking and risk embarrassing myself. A million excuses raced through my mind, all the while I stared at this poor woman, not saying a word. When I came to my senses I said, “Ok, I guess I will have to take this speech class” and signed up for it. I finished signing up for the rest of my classes and walked back to my car.

As I drove home, I thought about the speech class I had signed up for. Then a fond memory from high school came to mind. My freshman year in high school, students were required to take a speech class or we could opt out for “Introduction to Band”. Those were the only two choices we had. Well, this was a no-brainer for me! Intro to band it was! I remember laughing at those who signed up for speech class. I was a new man, er…boy of 14, a freshman with something to prove. Let’s face it, I beat the system! I got out of speech! First day in the band room I met up with my good friend Todd. He hated speech too and had opted for band. We sat in the back row of the band room and waited our turn to choose the instrument we intended to play. Even though I had never held one of these instruments in my hand, I chose the trombone. It was gold and shiny and to a freshman boy, it looked cool. Todd picked the cornet. Once we made our selection, our band instructor, Mr. Base explained what he expected us to learn in 6 weeks. The class met twice a week for 45 minutes. I didn’t care! It could have met for 5 hours twice a week. All I knew was that I had wiggled out of speech class and that was all that mattered!

Mr. Base informed us that we would have to play one solo before the class and we could play from where we were seated! Wow! I loved this teacher! This would be no problem! I was game for that and was relieved I didn’t have to give any speeches in front of the class. I actually had fun learning how to play the trombone. When it came time for us to play our solos, Mr. Base instructed us to do our best. He knew he didn’t have many recruits for the band, but he had a fun group of kids who gave it their all. I was the last to perform and played “Mary Had A Little Lamb”. Although I botched it, I passed the class. Mission accomplished!

Back to reality! It hit me…I was signed up for a college speech class. Oh my god, what did I do? I worried the two weeks prior to class starting! Finally, the semester began and I met our instructor. She was an older woman in her 70’s. She stated her expectations:   eight speeches during the semester including the type and length of each speech with the longest being 30 minutes. My heart sank. That was it! I was going to quit college! That’s how shy I was. I made the decision to address my fear of public speaking to my instructor. She recognized how painfully shy I was. During that hour-long meeting, she tried every which way to convince me that I could do it. Then a miracle happened in her office. She said that I could give my speech in her office just for her. The highest grade she could give me was a D, but I was perfectly fine with that. Her actions that day kept me in college. I was thankful she understood my situation. Every week I would meet her in her office at 3:15 p.m. and recited my speech. Eventually, I earned three credits and a pass out of speech.

My speech class was a major battle for me and yet I managed to get my way and avoid my fears. That turned out to be a huge problem for me down the road. When I transferred to the University of Wisconsin, I was in college with the big boys. The professors were not sympathetic and were very demanding. I had a class called Exercise Science that required hands-on applications and hours of homework. The professor asked the class to prepare a paper on training for a team sport. I chose professional football and worked my tail off! The paper included flexibility, strength training, speed development, diet, polymeric training and included dozens of pictures and diagrams. This could have been a complete book project. Two weeks later we turned in our projects. I had forgotten about the project until the professor asked for our papers at the end of class. He called three people to the front of the class which had about a hundred students. He called my name, then my buddy John, and another student, Linda. He handed Linda’s paper to her, then John’s paper to him, and looked at me as he handed my paper back to me and announced to the class that I would be the instructor for the next two weeks because of the program I had researched and reported on. “Me? Teach the class???” I panicked! “Yep,” he said, “it’s your class now.”

As I look back now at that situation I can laugh, but at the time my first thought was to find a way to get out of teaching the class! Try as I might, he didn’t buy into my reasons. He didn’t cut me any slack or give me a break. I was destined to teach my peers! Today I am thankful he didn’t allow me to fall into my own excuses and quit even before I got started.

Did I face my fears? No! Did that experience make me a better person?   No! What did I learn? I used my fears as an excuse for not facing the challenges we all face during our lives. I see this same scenario so many times in my practice. Most of us don’t want to deal with our real-life challenges. Why do you think that is? What is the worst thing that can happen if we don’t face the trials and painful experiences we face every day? If we allow our fears to get the best of us and control us, we will find out in the end that they will defeat us if we don’t get a handle on them.

What excuses do you use to get out of projects to improve yourself? Do you make excuses when you begin thinking about starting a business or improving your marriage? Listen, we all do it! Now is the time to take action and make changes in your life. Don’t allow past mistakes and failures control your future. Decide how you will approach the things that freighten you. Make a list of how you plan to deal with each item that you’ve been making excuses for.

Following is a list I rely on when I have to attend public speaking engagements:

• When I get a call and asked about a public speaking engagement, I ask them what topic they would like me to talk about. If I am not comfortable with their request, I decline the offer.
• I ask myself, “how well do I know the material they want me to speak about? Can I research it and gather enough of the details so that I can make it a fun and interesting talk?”
• Can I use humor in my talk? This is an important step in engaging those who have come , lighten up and enjoy getting to know me as their friend.
• What time do they need me there and how long would they like the talk to last?

The bottom line is, stop making excuses because something makes you uncomfortable! Like Nike says, “Just Do It.” Get out of the habit of running away from uncomfortable situations.

Do you struggle taking control of your life and find yourself making excuses to get out of these difficult situations? Have you been afraid to face an upcoming life event, like a divorce or medical condition and make excuses to avoid taking proactive steps to resolve your fears? Would you like to stop making excuses and learn new skills that will help you the face the challenges in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you! I will show you how to put a working plan together that will guide you through the most difficult situations you face.

Online and phone Master Life Coaching is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment, from the privacy of your own home. Avoid the travel and time it takes to get my office. You never have to leave the comfort of your own home to meet with me so your anonymity and privacy is completely secured and protected. I coach many out-of-state clients who have successfully used this method and have found it to be the most effective means for Life Coaching especially for those who live out of the Denver-metro area or are out of the state of Colorado. I can also arranged counseling services via Skype.

For more information or to schedule a free consultation, call or email me at 303.456.055 or mike@applicablecoaching.com. All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

Go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/.

I went to a buffet breakfast today with some friends and decided to have my truck washed after we ate. After all its been 3 years since I washed it, and that’s no joke. When you live in the mountains and on a dirt roads, you don’t really care how often yourcar or truck gets washed. The snow and rain will do a decent job if you don’t mind the small partials of dirt that gathers in the rain drops and left on your vehicle, after the storm.

After eating, I drove my truck over to the car wash 200 yards from the buffet. I drove up and waited for the gal with the ticket to tell me the different prices the car wash offered. She was pretty friendly and started telling me the different prices she had to offer. In my mind, all I wanted was a quick car wash and a dusting job on the inside and the dog hairs vacuumed from all the seats in the truck. She said, “I have a great deal on a wash and wax job, for $20 bucks”. I’ll take that one, I said! She handed me a ticket and I got out of the truck and headed inside to pay for my car wash and waxing job. I waited in line and was kinda happy that I was finally getting the truck taken care of after three years. My turn came to pay, the gal behind the cash register took my ticket, and rang up my bill. She said, “that would be $119 dollars and 50 cents!”

I looked at her and said, “what????, A 119 dollars and 50 cents??” I said to the checker, you better get the gal back who wrote up my ticket for the car wash, that’s not what she told me! She called over the intercom and asked for my ticket gal to come and talk with one of her customers. I waited and she finally showed up, as I walked towards her with my bill in hand, I said, the checker said you must have made a mistake on my bill. She started talking and tried to convince me that I needed the entire wash and wax job. I said not today, then she dropped the price down to 90 bucks. I looked at her and said, “really all I want is a simple wash and clean the inside of my truck, nothing more then that, What do you have for 25 dollars?” She told me, and I went and paid the cashier for that job.

I watched as the truck went through the car wash, as it came out, there were several people who were hand drying the truck. I was walking towards the truck, when a supervisor walked around my truck, and sent it off to be washed again. Well, I guess it was pretty dirty, good thing they noticed how bad it was, I thought. I waited and the truck went through the cycle again, parked just about in the same spot. The guys were hand drying the truck again, when another supervisor looked it over, he sent it to be washed again. I wondered what was going on. I walked up to observation window at the car wash and watched my truck go through the car wash again for the third time. I watched as the suds were sprayed again, the rinse applied for the third time, and the guys hand drying my truck again. I finally started towards my truck, when another supervisor walked up to the truck and flagged it to be washed again. I didn’t even get close to my truck this time. Off it went through the car wash again for the 4th time. After it came out of the car wash, they took it over to the detail shop, part of the 119 dollar package deal. I went over and told the guy that I didn’t want the detailing job, and may I please have my truck back. He took it over to the wipe down bay area.

I was thinking that I upset the gal for not taking the $119 special, and she was paying me back for not agreeing for the high end service and would make me wait. A few years back, I would have said fine, just because, I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and I would have payed the $119. Not anymore. I thought about that when I waited for the gal to come back and straighten out our miscommunication about $119 car wash. I was glad that I was confronting her. Was I being taken advantage of? I don’t know, but I was not going to hand over money for that expensive car wash, for a 1999 F-150 pick-up truck.

I tipped the guys who wiped down my truck, got in and drove away. I noticed they didn’t dust all that well, and didn’t get many dog hairs vacuumed up. When I got home, I did the dusting that it needed, it smells nice, no dog hairs to worry about. maybe next year, I will get the truck washed and not wait three years again.

What did I learn about today’s experience? If something needs to be done, get it done! Don’t wait, cause if your supposed to get an errand done and someone is depending on you, take care of it. How does this apply to you. If you having marriage problems, don’t expect the marriage to improve by doing nothing. Get counseling, marriage coaching, make sure it happens and soon. If you have health issues and think your problem will get better on it’s own, don’t wait to see if it does, cause sometimes it doesn’t. Don’t put off the things that matter, if you own someone an apology and it will fix a relationship, go say your sorry. Life is to short, not deal with the issues you face in life today. They don’t always go away, and why not make life simple for you and all those around you!

Do you have a difficult time in taking control of your life, events control you, you don’t control them? Have you been afraid to plan for a upcoming event, like a divorce, or medical condition? Do you want and need help in planning for a future event that frightens you and you know its going to happen? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you plan on how to deal with problems that effect your life. I will help you put a working plan together that will help you deal with life’s issues.

You can go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/

In addition, online/phone Master Life Coaching is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment, from the privacy of your own home. Avoid the travel and time it takes to get my office. Since you never have to leave the comfort of your own home to meet with me, your anonymity and privacy is completely secured and protected. I have many out of state clients who prefer this means of coaching, this is the most effective means for Life Coaching for those of you who live out of the Denver-metro area or are out of the state of Colorado. I also have skype, its another way to set up a meeting so we can talk, contact me if your interested in setting up a skype appointment.

If you want to get more information about the Life Coaching Program, call me at 303.456.0555 or e-mail Dr. Mike at mike@applicablecoaching.com  to set up a free consultation. All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

I was in my stance as a rookie fullback, when I heard our Quarterback start calling out the cadence, hut..hut hut, hut, the ball was snapped, when I went to my right side to pass block. There was a defensive end, nicknamed “The Train”, a 6’9″ 350 pound ball of energy, and known as one of the dirtiest ball players in pro football. As he raced towards me, I saw his right hand clinched into a fist, as he reach into the air, he was about to give me a head slap. His fist was taped, and I could see grass and blood stains on the dirty white athletic tape coming towards my head. I braced for the hit..and that’s all I can remember…..

When I came to, I was laying face up with the train standing over me, calling me some, well, let’s just say, not nice names, that I can share with you here. A few of my teammates came over and pushed him away, all the while he was pushing back, yelling and shaking his fist at them and me. I slowly got up and went back to the huddle, my teammates were asking me, if I was OK! Still a little wobbly, I said ya.

Then something came over me in the huddle, I said to our QB, “call that same play again.” Dan, looked at me and said “what?” “Ya..call that same play again,” I said! He saw it in my eyes, he knew what I was thinking, with a grin on his face, he said “44 T-slant cross buck on 2, for brooks.” we clapped our hands in unison as we broke the huddle and we lined up in our positions, I could hear the train insulting myself and the right side tackle, across the line of scrimmage. Dan called the play, the ball was snapped, he dropped back, and I went to the right side and waited for my meeting with the Train. He rushed hard past the right side tackle, and zeroed in on me. As his arm and fist raised again ready to hit me on the side of my helmet, I got low and waited for the collision. I was a 250 pound rookie fullback, and the train a 350 pound veteran defensive end. Just before he hit me, I shot up into his groin with my full weight through my helmet as hard as I could. I dropped the Train in his tracks. He was screaming in pain, withering on the ground while holding his, well..you know, his groin area. I walked up to him, while he yelled and hollered obscenities about my hit on him. I leaned over with a big smile and said, “hurts don’t it, it sucks to be you,” then I jogged back to the huddle. He was taken out of the game and into the locker room, while we went on to win the game. I got a lot of back slaps after the game, and even a few of his own players were laughing about my hit on the Train as we congratulated each other after the game.

I think that Life has its funny experiences that teach us along the way. That we should be prepared and be ready for the unexpected we face and learn from them. What did I learn from the Train? Well, two important things, the first one is, duck before you get hit and be looking out for those who plan to put you down in life, and the other is have a plan when they do.

Most of us get to see the train when it is coming towards us down the tracks. So, you either get off the tracks, or stare at the headlight, and get mowed down. I would encourage you when you see the train, that you start planning right away and make your move to protect yourself. For example, if you have not been feeling well, go see the doc, call and make an appointment. If your children are having a hard time in school, then help them, sit down and spend some time with them on their school work. This is your responsibility, not the teachers. If you see issues starting with a business partner, then get them resolved immediately, if you don’t, you could have some serious legal problems down the road. When your wife or husband tells you they are not happy in the marriage, you better get into some marriage coaching or counseling right away. I have plenty of clients who wished they would have gotten help sooner in their marriages. Now their divorced and broken hearted. How much warning do you need to deal with the fast approaching trains in your life. I figure, the more time you have and see it coming, the better.

Do you have a game plan set up, just in case you need it? Do you know what to do and who can help you? Or, are you a reactionary and then decide to plan after things happen to you. I don’t think this is a wise thing to do, in fact you have given up all control, after the fact. If you see the problem, and know what’s going to happen, why wait? Do something now. If you need to seek a professional to help you deal with the train wreck, then move on it now and don’t wait!

When you play football or any sport for that matter, you spend countless hours in the gym working out with the weights, or running the plays on the field or on the court, and in the classroom listening to your coach. You study your opponents carefully and where their strengths and weaknesses are. In order for a team to be extremely successful on the field, a great coach helps guide his team, step by step in the learning process. He knows through his years of experience which plays to call, and when to call them. That’s the same way in life, if you have a Life Coach/counselor who knows how to walk you through the process of planning, preparing, and dealing with the issue at hand, then your going to be successful in life, and seldom caught off guard.

Do you have a difficult time in taking control of your life, events control you, you don’t control them? Have you been afraid to plan for a upcoming event, like a divorce, or medical condition? Do you want and need help in planning for a future event that frightens you and you know its going to happen? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you plan on how to deal with the train wrecks that will effect your life. I will help you put a working plan together that helps you deal with a train wreck about to happen.

You can go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/
In addition, online/phone Master Life Coaching is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment, from the privacy of your own home. Avoid the travel and time it takes to get my office. Since you never have to leave the comfort of your own home to meet with me, your anonymity and privacy is completely secured and protected. I have many out of state clients who prefer this means of coaching, this is the most effective means for Life Coaching for those of you who live out of the Denver-metro area or are out of the state of Colorado. I also have skype, its another way to set up a meeting so we can talk, contact me if your interested in setting up a skype appointment.

If you want to get more information about the Life Coaching Program, call me at 303.456.0555 or e-mail Dr. Mike at mike@applicablecoaching.com  to set up a free consultation. All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

Why is it some folks feel entitled to do what ever they want? Let’s face it, most celebrities are decent and caring folks. Sure we all have heard the juicy gossip about several of them. I have a friend who has done some serious acting, he’s my best friend, and down to earth. He’s never been in any trouble and is the salt of the earth!

I get confused when actors start living their acting roles in public and don’t deal with realities. I wonder about Charlie sheen. What do his friends think about him? I can tell you, they will never speak out in public about him, but when they talk to each other face to face, that’s a different story. Many are probably distancing themselves from Charlie, and who can blame them. He’s a cancer to any friendship right now.

His crazy radio interviews, his talking to a group of young college baseball players from UCLA about a grain of Coke, doesn’t he understand that most people find that appalling. I wonder why some of his closest friends have not called him out on his behavior in private. Do those friends who claim to love Charlie have an obligation to confront him when he gets off track? They should, and they better. I will tell you, that my friends have my permission to let me know when I am getting out of line. Why? I trust their judgement in numbers!

I don’t think having money or being famous gives you a right to have a “get out of jail free card” for misbehaving. Money may buy you out of a bad situation, but does it help your reputation if you been wrong? No, it doesn’t. I’m tired of Hollywood trying to pass off it’s bad boys and girls to the general public across America as misguided youths. Where is the accountability partners for these people? Where are their parents in all this? Have we become so calloused to the actions of Hollywood stars that we have had our own personal conscious severed? Its looking that way to me.

I’m sorry, that I cannot feel bad for Charlie Sheen and his actions. When I heard his radio rant, I said to myself, CBS better confront this out of control self righteous star. How long will they allow his ranting to continue. We didn’t have to wait long, CBS canceled production of his hit show ‘Two and a Half Men.’ I thought to myself, bravo for CBS taking him on. Now, let’s see if Charlie continues his rage against Hollywood or backs off his attacks on CBS. I think its time if it hasn’t been done already that his dad Martin Sheen needs to sit down and have a talk with his son. He should point out that he is throwing his life and career away and will be blacklisted by the Hollywood crowd and producers.

Some athletes act the same way, they act is if they are entitled and accepted for the bad behavior exhibited before the world of sports. Sorry, when I work with my professional athletes, they have me as their accountability partner. I hold their feet to the fire. If they screw up, we will be having a meeting, “johnny on the spot.” I keep my clients out of the press and they know that. Charlie seems to fly by the seat of his pants, with no accountability whatsoever. Hollywood where are you???

Think about this, do you respect someone who acts out in public? Charlie has been known for his anger, beating up his girlfriends, drinking problems, has been in court several times, and yet..the public seems to adore him for his lifestyle and his bizarre behavior. I just don’t get it. Charlie seems to be like the weird uncle we all had at one time in our lives. He’s the uncle that you can’t introduce to your friends or take in public because he will embarrass you. What causes Charlie to act out in public, is it his drinking problems, drug issues, or some form of mental illness?

So, how can Charlie Sheen deal with his poor self-image and repair it? First of all, accept and admit that he needs help! Stop blaming others for his actions, take responsibility for them. Deal with your problems in the order of severity. Have trusted friends in your corner, not friends who are afraid of you, but will confront you in love. Give your close friends permission to be brutality honest with you. Keep away from those who have a problem with keeping boundaries with, drinking, drugs, sex and anger issues. Be with people that will make you a better person.

Avoid places that will tempt you to harm yourself. Nightclubs, friends homes that have drug users in them. Known prostitutes, drug dealers, porn users. I say stay away from them all, until you can recognize they are not good people and will not help you in your recovery. Let’s face it, we all make mistakes. Big ones, small ones, but we are not perfect by any means. Can Charlie admit he has problems? I wonder if he can. So, what does Charlie do, he takes pot shots at anyone who disagrees with him.

Charlie’s life really depends on those who can help him through this ordeal. His anger issues, along with his drug and drinking problems are not helping him on the world stage. Many are mocking him, and some late night talk show hosts are making him the butt of their jokes!

Charlie, I hope you can get help, I am here for you if you need a life coach! You need someone who can walk you through the process of getting healthy and back on track. You need someone who can and will hold you accountable for your actions. Life is so much better then where you are at now, that I can promise you.

Do you have a difficult time in controlling your bad habits? Have you lost friendships over your bad habits? Do you want to restore any of those friendships? Do you hurt others with your bad behavior and want to stop them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you plan on how to control these bad habits that have affected your life. I will help you put a working plan together that helps you control bad habits and bad behavior.

You can go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/
In addition, online/phone Master Life Coaching is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment, from the privacy of your own home. Avoid the travel and time it takes to get my office. Since you never have to leave the comfort of your own home to meet with me, your anonymity and privacy is completely secured and protected. I have many out of state clients who prefer this means of coaching, this is the most effective means for Life Coaching for those of you who live out of the Denver-metro area or are out of the state of Colorado. I also have skype, its another way to set up a meeting so we can talk, contact me if your interested in setting up a skype appointment.

If you want to get more information about the Life Coaching Program, call me at 303.456.0555 or e-mail Dr. Mike at mike@applicablecoaching.com  to set up a free consultation. All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.

By Dr. Michael Brooks

The smell of flowers can be a wonderful memory or a very painful experience to some of us. I remember standing before my sisters casket several months ago, smelling her flowers that lined the back wall of the funeral home. They were beautiful, and in full bloom. I had her son on my right, with my arm around his shoulder, and my daughter Alissa to my left with my arm around her. I stared at my sisters face, trying to imagine her sleeping, I just couldn’t do it, it wasn’t working for me. The music in the background, was music she would have hated. She was a ZZ top, deadhead, rock and roll chick. I was hearing harps, old organ hymns playing over the intercom, while hearing whispers of people behind me. It was starting getting dark, the doors opened around 4:00 PM that late cloudy November afternoon.

I stood there what seemed for hours, but really several minutes passed by. So much raced through my mind, why did she have to die so young? I had plenty of answers, I knew the reasons, but did she? I thought, how can someone knowingly continue to poison their body after watching both their parents pass away from the painful death, from smoking and drinking?

I used to beg my mom and dad to quit smoking, both were two pack a day smokers. My sister Deb was 2 packs a day, yet she never stopped or wanted to. She was being controlled by her smokes, a deadly bad habit. I also asked her to reconsider her smoking habits. I told her that we wanted her around to grow old with and enjoy times together. I kept staring at her face and listening to the music she probably would have made fun of. I turned and walked away back to the row chairs where the rest of the family was and sat down.

Her son Joey, who didn’t have a very good relationship with her, stood there another 5 minutes. I watched him as he stood in front of the casket, not knowing what he should do. Let’s face it, being in your late 20’s and seeing your mother laid out, is kinda tough to have happen to you.

He finally came back and sat down, just staring at his mothers casket with the flowers surrounding her. Uncle Mike, why did she have to die? A tough question, and one that I pondered on for a little while. And said, “Joey, she had bad habits, unhealthy ones, that killed her. She was controlled by her bad habits.” I asked him if he agreed, and he said yes!

Are any of you controlled by your bad habits, like smoking, drinking, drugs, sex, over eating, porn? Do your habits hurt your children, your parents, your spouse, or even your friends or co-workers? How many of you want to get help but are afraid that working on your bad habits will be to hard for you?

I saw what my parents alcoholism and smoking did to our family. I saw what they did to my sister, Deb. My sister Deb, started drinking when she was 12 years old. She would sneak a beer, then mom’s wine, then the hard stuff. My mom and dad would pass out on their bed after hard drinking, and never had a clue what was going on in my sisters life. I tried telling my parents that Deb had a drinking problem, it never sunk in. Then she started stealing their cigarettes, she would smoke at school when she hung around her friends, my parents did nothing!

She had no control over her actions, she had several DUI’s, even had her drivers license revoked for the rest of her life. My dad and mom, allowed her to continue on her destructive ways, without confronting her. I sure tried, I begged her to stop her smoking, and drinking, and she laughed at me. She had the reputation as the party girl at our high school. The teachers could not believe we were related, we were total opposites. I talked to my high school guidance counselors back then about her problems, they could do nothing.

So, lets look at what you can do to help a loved one who has no control over bad habits or self control. Don’t harp on them, this is a main complaint that I hear in my office. Listen to them, suggest where they can get help if they ask you, and if you can talk with them about their needs, all the better. Arguing only makes matters worse. Think about it, do you think you will win someone over to your way of thinking by pointing out their faults with the bad habits they have? There is no way! The best way to get anywhere is to talk about their feelings, listen, don’t try to fix anything. Hear where their life struggles are. Ask if its OK to share your thoughts on the matter. If you feel like you’re getting upset, then stop. Try to get more details from them and keep listening. Tell them you appreciate their honesty and try to plan to have another talk, soon!

Then start doing your research, not to bolster your argument, but, to help them see there are other ways to deal with their bad habits. You’re providing the resources they need to get answers for figuring things out. I also suggest that you go and look up the resources they need and print them out and hand them the material. Discovery is an amazing thing, if we allow people to do that on their own time. Most likely they will read what you give them, but in their own time. Remember that!

If your the person who needs to identify the areas where you have lost control and are dealing with a bad habit, then write them down, your list may have one or it may have several items on it. For example, you have a fear of dogs. Write down why your afraid of dogs. Did you get bitten by a dog when you were a child? Does a barking dog bother you? My point is make sure you completely cover all the reasons you don’t like dogs. Remember, this list is an open list of losing control to your fears and emotions. So, you can substitute any fear you may have on this list. Remember you want to regain control over the bad habits and fears by identifying what they are. On my list, it would be flying. I am so afraid of flying, it controls me, I have no control over it. It started when I saw a plane crash that killed seven people as a kid. That is etched in my mind forever. The sound of the racing engine just before impact, the explosion, the ball of fire, followed by the black smoke..who can forget!

When I started doing speaking engagements, I had to fly and was terrified at the thought of it! Believe me, I was tempted to drive the 1,100 hundred miles, a 21 hour drive for a 2 hour talk. That was out of the question. I faced my fears, and did my research. I went to google and looked up the stats for airplane crashes and the percentages of it happening and surviving. I have to admit that helped a great deal. My next step was to sit down and go over the advantages of flying. Well, that was a no brainer, it was a little over a 3 hour flight. I would get to meet new people at the airport and on the plane. Less chance of getting into a car accident on the road if I flew, and planes were safer to travel. That was my way of dealing with flying. I travel all the time now doing motivational talks and enjoying the flying. If you follow this formula, it will work. Its worked for me, it’s basic for sure.

If that doesn’t work for you, then talking to a professional will help you. I like to ask my clients a basic set of questions, the who, what, where and why, of their fears or bad habits and when they started? We will talk about each reason they are controlled by their fears and bad habits. Many never face them because they don’t know how or have the tools to do so.

I had one woman who had a bad habit of over eating. She was well over 320 pounds and only 24 years old. I asked her “Beth, why do you feel you’re over weight?” She, responded by saying, “my parents have always fed us too much, When we cried..they put food into our mouths, to keep us quiet.” She went on to say, when she gets nervous, she eats. When she gets depressed, she eats. When she doesn’t feel well, she eats. She eats to keep people away from her in general. She wants to avoid being in a relationship, so no one can hurt her. How destructive is this pattern she is living in?

Life coaching helped her a great deal. She is now 26 years old at 150 pounds, and loving herself and life. What did I do to help her? We simply talked about the consequences of over eating and the health related concerns that went along with them. Many obese and overweight people, really have no clue what being overweight does to you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

The first problem Beth and I talked about being overweight, was the health concerns I had. I asked her, do you know what can happen to you physically if you continue to maintain or gain weight? She said, sure..”I can die from a heart attack!” That’s a possibility and there are other concerns you should have, I said. I ask you, as my readers, do you know what can happen to you or a loved one, if you’re obese or over weight? Heart attack, High Blood Pressure, stroke, Type 2 Diabetes, Cancer, Osteoarthritis, Sleep Apnea, Reproductive Problems, Gallstones, shortness of breath, etc. She saw that as a problem, when presented from a health professional. Her primary doc never brought up her obesity. Amazing!

What does being over weight do to you emotionally? When things get tough, maybe at the office, at school, or even home..you walk over the fridge and start looking for the ice cream in the freezer, cause you just don’t want to deal with the emotional pain any longer. Its taking the easy way out. You don’t confront your emotional issues, you simply eat them away. So, when things get tough emotionally for you, you run to the comfort food. The best way to deal with this, is to sit down, and write down the emotional trigger points for you, and start a plan. NOT to go eat away your sorrows, but to face and deal with them. Deal with them “on the spot” and recognize that you do have control over what goes into your mouth. Don’t give in to your emotions!

What does being over weight do to you spiritually? I like to think, that God gave us these vessels we live in, while we’re here on earth. Maybe look at it from the perspective of someone giving you a house, you live in it, you have to take care of it. You have to make sure the furnace is working, the hot and cold water is working. You want the doors and windows to be in good shape, and for good measure you may want to have some nice painted walls to look at. If your taking care of yourself, I believe that God honors that. We need to be healthy and wholesome for ourselves, and others in our lives.

So, how does Life Coaching help you with breaking bad habits and taking back control of your life? What I do as a life coach, is to help you discover that you have the ability to say yes and no. If someone offers you a drink, and you know its gonna cause you some problems, then say, no thanks! Then leave the area. If someone offers you a joint, say no thanks and leave. You really do have control of what you say and do. For some of you, who have bought into the lie, “he made me do it”, then you need to keep away from those who are bad influences in your life and get help in learning how to say no and focus on building your future! I can do that for you. If you need help, call me and we can set up an appointment and talk.

Do you have a difficult time in controlling your bad habits? Have you lost friendships over bad habits? Do you want to restore any of those friendships? Do you hurt others with your bad habits and want to stop them? If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you plan on how to control these bad habits that have affected your life. I will help you put a working plan together that helps you control bad habits.

You can go to Mike’s blog and comment on today’s article at https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/