When is it time to throw in the towel?
“You are so stupid, I cannot find a person more stupid than you”, her husband yelled. “You are a jerk! Everyone thinks you’re pathetic! Even I think you’re pathetic and you drink too much! You’re a pig!” his wife responded. Sad, isn’t it? I often get asked by warring couples when I think they should end their marriage. Only those who are trapped in a miserable marriage can answer that question. I can’t make that decision; neither should a family member, nor a friend. Yet, when couples are considering divorce they will ask anyone who will listen. I have seen many make the decision to end their marriage due to the advice of a friend or a family member.
Divorce should always be the last option especially if there is any hope of saving the marriage. I encourage my clients to give their marriage every chance of making it work. This is especially important if you have children. It is imperative that they see their parents trying to work out their differences. The problem with divorce today is how easy they are to obtain.
Is your marriage unbearable and you just can’t stand it any longer because of the physical abuse, drug abuse, physical or emotional infidelity or sexual prevision? If so, then you have to decide whether you’re going to work on your marriage or make the decision to end it. I have had many female clients over the years who were married to abusive alcoholics, drug users and adulterers. I have seen it all, and believe it or not, many of these women choose to stay in abusive marriages. Love takes many different twists and turns and it can be very confusing.
So when do you know if it’s time to throw in the towel? In my opinion, it’s when you, your children or immediate family members are in danger of physical harm or death. That’s when you call the police and seek a court order for protection. The right time to make this call is now! Repeated infidelity is also grounds for divorce. If drug abuse is a problem and children living in the home, I would suggest ending the marriage. The courts will remove children from the home if they know drug abuse is involved. You can’t allow your kids to be victims of an abusive partner who does drugs and places their lives in danger.
There are many reasons marriages end. If you are planning to divorce it’s best to sit down with your spouse and talk things over, unless you are in physical danger or there is history of abuse. Let them know why you are considering a divorce. Be honest and up front. Seek counseling and guidance when you make the decision to divorce. Lay out all the facts on the table and be prepared to explain why you feel the way you do. Let your spouse share their feelings too. So many times a spouse will give no reason for the divorce and will say “Oh, you know why I want a divorce” then walk away. Explain your reasons thoroughly, then move on.
Do you dread being in a miserable marriage and you can’t find resolve or have the energy to continue on? Do you want out of your marriage and need a plan on how to make that happen? Does your spouse have addictions and will not seek help, and you fear for your safety and that of your children? If you answered yes to any of these questions contact Dr. Mike for assistance.
Deciding when to throw in the towel in a bad marriage is really up to you. However, if you can save your marriage, by all means try to make it work. If live in fear and constant danger, contact Dr. Mike.
Master Life Coaching, Divorce coaching and counseling is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. Avoid travel time and never leave the comfort of your home to meet with me. I have many out-of-state clients who prefer to meet over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype (drmike45). The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live out of the Denver-metro area or are out of the state of Colorado.
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