What not to do, when you catch your spouse cheating!

I’m sure you have heard the horror stories from friends and family members “I caught my ex cheating on me and I taught him/her a lesson that they will never forget”. I often wonder how hasty revenge will help any chances of a reconciliation or peaceful break up. Breaking things, giving things away, spreading rumors, making phone calls to people is not a good thing. You will create a division with family members, your friends, acquaintances, its best to put together a game plan that will help you take the higher ground, and get good results for you!

Most revenge plans will blow up in your face, you will get a police record if you destroy property, hit, spit, push, throw things, slap, etc, your going to get finger printed and your picture taken. This will always be on your personal record and trying to get a good job with this kind of info just a click away on a “background check” on the Internet, well enough said, I’m sure you get the idea!

I suggest that you find someone you can trust and have this individual be your sounding board, run things past them that you unsure of, make sure that whoever you pick is not a vengeful person. If you pick someone that encourages you to get a divorce while they are in a troubled married, most likely they are using you and living through the advice they are giving you (usually bad). They don’t have the guts to do their own divorce, but will live through you while you do yours. I have seen this happen with several people, and they have regretted choosing a vengeful person to help them, so be careful. A well meaning friend can cost you lots of money with lawyers, the court system, and the loss of your marriage.

Here’s what to look for when finding a friend to be your sounding board, while discovering your spouse cheating.

• A level headed calm person who listens well.
• Someone who goes with facts and not feelings.
• Someone who seeks the marriage first and divorce second.
• Someone who will not rush you into anything that’s bad for your children.
• a person who will not encourage you to start dating out of revenge.
• A person who will encourage you to be truthful
• Someone who will encourage counseling and open communication with your spouse.

You may have a spouse that wants nothing to do with you, since they have been caught. My best suggestion, is to get counseling for yourself and children if they are involved, but certainly get counseling for yourself. Write out you biggest concerns and needs and wants in regards to ending your marriage. Find legal  counsel that will help you end the marriage in a equitable way. If you want help with putting together a game plan with this topic, contact info is below.

If you want to get more information about Life Coaching Program, call me at 303.456.0555 or go to contact Mike link to set up a free consultation. All calls are confidential and your privacy is protected.