I was sound asleep when I got the call late last night from my nephew “your sister is not doing good, I talked to Dennis and he said that she was fading fast, and its not looking good.”
As I turned and looked at the clock by my bed it was 11:30 PM, I thought that I heard my cellphone ring several times while sleeping, then when I heard I heard my nephew voice speaking to me, I realized that I answered the phone. I asked him when he talked to Dennis my sisters husband, and he said a few minutes ago. Many things raced through my mind. This call was not unexpected, she has been diagnosed with throat cancer for 14 months now. I would check on my sister every few days, just to see how she was doing. I got the same old story from my sister, I am doing OK, and I am going to fight this thing tooth and nail. All the while still smoking over two packs of cigarettes a day and drinking to excess.
I can remember begging my parents to stop their smoking while I was in grade school and high school, it was awful to live in the same house and smell the smoke and see it drift through the sunrays in the living room where my dad smoked as he read the Sunday paper. My mother wasn’t any better, she smoked just as much as he did.
Then my sister took up the smoking habit while in Junior High school, sneaking around smoking with her friends. She continued to sneak around until she got caught by my dad. He opened the door for her smoking by insisting that she smoke in front of my parents and be truthful about it. All the while I had to endure all this nonsense with tongue in cheek. I have never smoked, never drank, never did drugs, and the smell of smoke sickens me. I know the damage cigarette smoke can do to your body, both my parents died from smoking, lung cancer.
My phone has rang several times with a health crisis for my sister, its been hard, you never know when the call comes, and your told that she is gone. I deal with that every time I hear the phone ring after 10:00 PM, its a hard part of life. We all have had calls like this, its unpleasant and makes your heart skip a jump.
What will you do knowing that this call will come? How do you plan for a death in the family? I have been asked these questions on several occasions, what do we do, I am asked? When you plan ahead you will not be surprised and caught off guard, when the call comes. Have a family meeting and know what each of your responsibilities are when you get the call. Someone needs to be in charge of calling everyone (they will call A to Z in the directory) you will have two directory’s, one for family and one for friends. You need to have someone who will deal directly with the funeral home, picking clothes, music, clergy, finding pall bearers, etc. Then you will need someone to oversee the meal after the service, usually someone at the church will help with this arrangement. There is a lot to be done. Have you made these arrangements? Do you need to talk to someone about a loss of a loved one? Do you have support from friends and family? Do you need help making funeral arrangements? If you do, contact Mike and he can help you through the process of putting together a funeral for a loved one.
If you would like some help in dealing with personal issues in your life or the relationship that you’re in is not going well, you can contact Mike at 303.456.0555. If you need more information about the Professional Accountability Partner Program, call 303.456.0555 or go to contact Mike link to set up a free consultation appointment. Dr. Mike’s website is www.applicablecoaching.com all calls are confidential and your privacy is protected. Check out Mike’s blog at: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog/ I always welcome your thoughts and comments on today’s coaching article. Mike is also available for speaking engagements.