Unexplained Behaviors Explained? (10)

By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will continue with the colorcode personality of white. Have you figured out which is your colorcode personality?

White personalities in the colorcode love peace; they are the peacemakers of all the colors. They are the diplomats and want everyone to work together peacefully. Whites don’t like petty arguments and will not get involved with or be pushed into one.

Whites can be very insecure and non-committal. One thing for sure, whites can be the hardest color to read, and you never know what they are feeling or thinking. For the most part, whites are really good-natured, and most people see that in them. Very few people will challenge or upset them because of their laid-back personalities. Whites struggle with their own self-doubt. Whites often question some of the decisions they make and are unwilling to confront others in the process. One is the issues that I have had in dealing with whites is that they are so passive, at times, you can walk all over them. How do I know this? My secondary color is white, and from past experiences, I have had people try to manipulate me. It used to drive me crazy when I allowed people to do this. More often than not, when we get dependant on someone, we seem to latch on to that person (relationship) or a business that we work at. Whites are very loyal to a fault. This can be to our detriment. Why? More often than not, when whites get into relationships, whites struggle with doing outside interests, they focus solely on that individual and miss opportunities of adding new and exciting interests.

There is something that all whites have in common, that they doubt themselves. They want acceptance and approval from the people in their lives and will often seek it in healthy and unhealthy ways. They seem to question their capabilities. The unhealthy white will seek attention and insist that people pay attention to them.

I know several white personalities in the colorcode who are incredibly patient. They don’t seem to get bothered by very much. They are tolerant of others. They can be waiting for a friend that’s late and, while waiting, will find something to do without getting upset. While others (the reds, blues and yellow personalities) will get upset, be angry, and let you know how upset they are. Whites don’t miss a thing; they are very observant. After looking at all sides of the story, that’s when they will let you know what they think. I had a client that was white in colorcode that never got upset, if the world around her was collapsing, she was not worrying about the little things in life. I do remember though, one time someone was pushing their agenda on her; it didn’t go well for that person. She was very deliberate in the way she talked with them, firm, and didn’t back down. Put a white in the corner, and they will come out fighting. They may seem passive, but they do have their boundaries.

Next week, we will continue this article on the white personality and how to enjoy this person in the colorcode. How many white personality characters do you have in your life?

Dr. Mike has Zoom classes on The Colorcode Thursdays. If you’re interested in attending this class, it’s on Thursday from 5:00 to 6:00 PM. You’ll need to send him your email address to get a link for the Zoom class. You can sit in and listen or be a participant. These classes are free.

I have used the colorcode when dealing with my clients and their needs. If you want a better marriage, the colorcode will open doors to better communication. If you are having issues at work with a co-worker or boss/management, the colorcode will open doors of understanding. If you hire or lay people off, the colorcode will give you the necessary tools for a better work environment, and better employee hires for the company.

Other Zoom classes coming up: How to Set Boundaries for yourself, your kids, and marriage. There will be a class on the 5-Love Languages, how to have better relationships with your spouse, family, and friends. If you are interested in any of these classes or have questions, send an email to mike@applicablecoaching.com or call 303.880.9878.

The Colorcode designed by Taylor Hartman is Unlike other personality tests, The Color Code not only identifies what you do but why you do it, allowing you to gain much deeper and more useful insights into what makes you and those around you tick. Each of the four colors: Red, Blue, Yellow, and White, stands for a collection of traits, strengths, and limitations. You can have one dominant color with traces of the three other colors in your colorcode personality. If you would like to take the free colorcode test and see what your primary color is, you can do so by going to colorcode.com click on the free test, once you take it, read what color your primary color is. The book is “The People Code” by Taylor Hartman, a great read and really gets into how the colors interact with each other. I highly recommend that you get this book.

Dr. Mike is a certified colorcode trainer and can help with people’s personality issues at home or in the office. Give him a call, and he can go into greater detail on how to use the colorcode in your home or the workplace. Call him at 303.880.9878

Do you feel a bit confused living or working with someone who is a white after reading today’s article and want to learn more about what motivates them? Do you need help in building up the intimacy in your relationship through the colorcode? Do you want to know more about the colorcode and how to incorporate it in your marriage or business? Do you want help in managing and understanding your color in colorcode? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Zoom (if you want to have a Zoom meeting with Dr. Mike, send him an email at mike@applicablecoaching.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (4) By Dr Michael Brooks

Facing Your Giants (7) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Giants of failed relationships can be hard

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

If You’re Considering Divorce (6)

By Dr. Michael Brooks

As we continue with this week’s article “If You’re Considering Divorce”, look at the results and see if they are in line with the way you feel. The responses that I have received from the previous week’s articles have been revealing; I’m hearing that many of you want to start working on rebuilding a healthy relationship with your spouse/partner. That’s music to my ears!

 #4. Your spouse has character issues that are starting to show themselves: This can be a problem especially when your spouse has flaws and doesn’t want to change them and it’s becoming a problem for you. You don’t see them making any attempts in making any changes. For example, drinking and drug problems, anger issues and they don’t think they need help with. They may be having one affair after another and they don’t feel it’s a problem or need to change.

When anger issues grow worse with each argument, the yelling, threats, that concern you to the point you may have to call the police is a red flag warning. There are limits on how long you can stay in an unloving relationship. I have had clients who were married to a narcissist and endured hardships like no other. Their spouse was mean spirited and so self-centered and absorbed in their world that no one else mattered. The pain this caused the entire family was overwhelming. That spoused walked away from the narcissist and is happy to be free from needless pain. You may be dealing with other issues in your relationship that will drive you away. Such as a controlling spouse and their behavior towards you that leads to the point of demoralizing you the spouse and your children. Another problem is the emotional rollercoaster, ups, and downs each and every day; you don’t know what to expect when you wake up each morning. The blame game, when you’re constantly being blamed by your spouse for their problems. This is another red flag for a bad marriage. More often than not the victim (in his or her mind) is being challenged to see if their love for the spouse is real or not. When questioned they become argumentive and confrontational. When we fall in love we don’t see or want to see the bad in the people we fall in love with. We start to see their issues down the road and begin to notice some troubling behaviors. That’s when people will start to fall out of love and move on.

 #5. Communication issues within your relationship. When you and your spouse/partner drift apart, and you notice and feel it, it’s time to sit down and communicate what you’ve noticed and what are your next steps to correct it. You want to bring out the issues in the open and figure out your next steps. If you sense you’re each moving in the wrong direction, it’s time to figure out where the disconnect is. This may be a difficult discussion, but it needs to happen. Put all your cards on the table and deal with it. This is not the time to be worrying about hurting someone’s feelings by telling them the truth. Marriage has it’s up’s and downs. If you both agree to sit down and start rebuilding your love for each other, this can be a very productive meeting of the minds. I would encourage that each of you listens well and not interrupt each other. If this talk is going to end with an argument as all your sit-downs meetings do, then maybe it’s time to move on. What’s the point of prolonging someone who has to be right all along without listening to you or your points of emphasis?

#6. Is conflict avoidance good or bad? Some couples are masterful at communicating feelings and their emotions, but this isn’t always guaranteed to renew the love in a loveless relationship. You may be able to sit down and communicate well, but if the same old problem keeps rearing its ugly head, you may say “what’s the point to talk, we continue to go in the same direction.” I know several people who will not argue or confront, they avoid any situation that may lead to arguing. They emotionally run from any fight, they’re not wired to fight, they have a tender personality and hate fighting. So, they bail on relationships that has strife and bitterness in them.

#7. The unresolved Resentment between you and your spouse can cause love loss at all levels in your relationships. How many of us have been angry at our spouse and avoided talking about our feelings to avoid fighting. Probably most of us at one time or another have done this. We all have had misunderstandings in our relationship with our spouse; we have failed to communicate our true feelings and assume that our spouse knows us well enough to know what were feeling and how we think. This is the anchor of resentment; resentment doesn’t go away unless you sit down and identify what exactly the resentment is.

Here is a problem many couples face and have no clue on how to deal with resentment. First, of all, what hurts do you need to discuss and why? Many of us use resentment against our spouse, and they have no clue why you’re angry. This will cause love loss in your relationship. Deal with it immediately and don’t think it will go away on its own. It will not!

Do you suspect that you’re falling out of love with your spouse? Do you feel like your relationship is drifting apart? Has the lack of love in your relationship caused your spouse/partner to cheat on you by using Facebook or Classmates.com? Have you seen the signs of them spending time texting excessively or on the computer? Do you need help in confronting your spouse/partners suspicious behavior? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow an old love to destroy your relationship. If your marriage has been threatened by or has ended because of a social media affair and you need someone to talk to, or need help in overcoming the pain you’re going through, please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people through the process of a broken relationship caused by social media infidelity.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

If You’re Considering Divorce (4)

By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week I want you to take this self-quiz from Dr. Susan Heitler on how to rate yourself on ten warning signs of falling out of love that merit particular attention. This may be a wake-up call for some of you and hopefully, you can start working on your relationship.

Rate yourself from 0 to 3 on how true each of the following sentences is for you.  

0=  Not at all true

1 = Somewhat true

2 = Quite true

3 = Very true

The Falling Out of Love Warning Signs Quiz

___1. We have very few shared interests or times that we enjoy being together.

___2. Staying together is just not a priority for me, for my partner, or for both of us.

___3. Flirting with others appeals to me; so does sex with other partners.

___4. In my gut, I don’t see my partner as a truly good person.  

___5. We have a hard time talking over differences constructively.  

___6. I’d rather not talk about what bothers me than risk getting into arguments about it.

___7. I still resent some of the hurtful things my partner has said and done.

___8. There are things in my life that have disturbed me deeply; and/or my partner continues to be profoundly upset about something in his/her life, and we don’t talk about these experiences.

___9. I rarely feel playful or joyful; when I look ahead at my future I feel pretty bleak.

___10. I rarely express appreciation, affection, or gratitude toward my partner.  Mostly I feel irritated.

___  TOTAL number of 0’s

___  TOTAL number of 1’s

___  TOTAL number of 2’s

___  TOTAL number of 3’s

How to interpret your score.

A score that’s all 0’s would be ideal.  Few people are that perfect.

1’s and 2’s indicate areas where there’s room for improvement.  The fewer the 1’s and 2’s, the more secure and connected you are to your loved one, and at the same time, even a little improvement in these areas is likely to make your relationship all the more loving.

Any 3’s mean danger ahead.  Better do something right away about these.  Check on getting counseling for you and your spouse.

Fortunately, if you catch these warning signs early, and especially if you add a quick upgrade to your communication skills toolkit, you will be likely to succeed in keeping your bonds of connection intact.  Ignore these warning signs though, and the danger ahead is likely to grow over time.

Do you suspect that you’re falling out of love with your spouse? Do you feel like your relationship is drifting apart? Has the lack of love in your relationship caused your spouse/partner to cheat on you by using Facebook or Classmates.com? Have you seen the signs of them spending time texting excessively or on the computer? Do you need help in confronting your spouse/partners suspicious behavior? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow an old love to destroy your relationship. If your marriage has been threatened by or has ended because of a social media affair and you need someone to talk to, or need help in overcoming the pain you’re going through, please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people through the process of a broken relationship caused by social media infidelity.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!