Tis the Season of Divorce (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The third problem is that your spouse is married to their job. They can’t possibly leave their work at work and will bring it home for the holidays. They are constantly checking emails, cell phones, calling co-workers for updates. No matter what you have planned, they will get up and leave whatever is going on. You can’t reason with this kind of spouse. The job comes first, and you and your family comes second. This person seems unsettled with work and family. They do not commit to any holiday. You can’t get this person to take some time for the family. You may have Thanksgiving or a Christmas dinner planned and during the course of having your meal, and everyone is enjoying each other’s company, this spouse will get up with a cell phone in hand and will answer a call out in the hallway or in another room. This kind of action will make for a very angry spouse, eventually pleading and begging their spouse to turn the phone off. How many people do we know that will fit into this category? I certainly know some people that do and have seen it happen with my very own eyes.

Divorce during the holidays is becoming common

My tips for this person and please listen carefully. If you want to avoid ending up in a divorce court pay attention:

• Turn your phone off at dinner
• If you must answer the phone have a certain time that people can call you and not be available all day.
• If you can, let your staff or your boss know that you’re spending time with family it’s vacation time.
• Family first, if you don’t make them a priority you will not have a family to worry about.
• Pay attention to your spouse and kids; they need you!

These are simple rules to follow, but are necessary to keep harmony within the family during the holidays. If you want to keep your marriage intact, then I suggest that you work on a budget, have great communication and leave work at work and don’t allow others to fill your time. That my friend is reserved for your family. If you have time, make sure that your spouse feels important to you and love them as much as you can. Spending time together is a great way to heal a hurting relationship.

Do you dread the holidays, the family fights, the arguments? Are you considering a divorce because of the in-laws are making your life miserable? Do you need to be able to express that you don’t want to go to your in-laws and want the peace of staying home? Does your communication with your spouse, children need help? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow loneliness to control the new experiences that you can enjoy today.

Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people going through tough times of loneliness.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Tis the Season of Divorce (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Spending time together with your spouse is number two on the list. During the spring through early fall, families get real busy with work, school, and sports. The kids keep you busy, and there is no time for you and your spouse. You have deadlines to meet at work, kids events like summer sports camps, running kids to and from school. They have plays and events at school that you attend during the week. Kids are involved with soccer, baseball, softball, gymnastics, so you never get time to spend with your spouse. When the holidays hit you, they often lead to lots of downtimes for you and your spouse.

Usually, there are no school activities during holiday breaks, and you and your spouse are not working, and you have the kids home. Then the kids get into fights, and you become a referee by yourself and no help from your spouse!! Something clicks in your brain, and you realize you’re not sure if you like the person you’re looking at: (your spouse). You think to yourself; you really haven’t spent any time with them during the course of the year. They seem to argue at silly things; sometimes your spouse will decide to take off to the mall, or spend time on their social media all day and avoid spending time with you. You get irritated and start thinking about being alone for the holidays. You don’t like the way you’re being treated or the way you’ve been avoided. You start to complain, and your spouse gets upset because you’re being selfish and demanding of their time. An argument pursues, and you stomp off to the guest bedroom and sulk.

I see this all the time and hear about it during counseling sessions. I’d suggest that you plan some time together on a date night and have some fun. You need to reconnect with your spouse at some level. Talk about a vacation that you both want and plan it, so you have something to look forward too. I suggest that when the kids go to bed, watch a movie together, or sit on the sofa and just have a heart to heart talk about life and what you want to do together in the future. This will help both of you to restore the communication you both need and want due to the busyness of your family.

Here are my tips for reconnecting with your spouse.

• Plan a movie night out with dinner
• Do something fun that you both like to do, walks, talks, cooking dinner together.
• Have a family game night and enjoy having fun with your children
• Find someone to watch the kids and take your spouse shopping
• Plan your next vacation over dinner, no kids
• Go to an art museum, go to a play

These are just a few suggestions for an adult adventure or a night out. I think this will bring back some of the excitement you had when you began to date. Plus it’s fun and offers some much-needed laughter.

Next week, I will be writing about the issues of work being brought home during the holidays. Not a good idea if you want peace and harmony.There will be Mike’s tips to help you through the temptation of doing work while with family during the holidays.

Do you dread the holidays, the family fights, the arguments? Are you considering a divorce because of the in-laws are making your life miserable? Do you need to be able to express that you don’t want to go to your in-laws and want the peace of staying home? Does your communication with your spouse, children need help? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow loneliness to control the new experiences that you can enjoy today.

Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people going through tough times of loneliness.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

The Final Goodbye (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week, we’ll wrap up the Final Goodbye story. Take heart and know that each one of you makes a difference in most people lives that you meet in this journey we call life. Get out of your comfort zone and reach out to those who are lonely. I promise you; you will be glad you did.

After my seatmate on the Southwest flight shared his story I wondered how many men and women have no one to talk to; they suffer in silence by themselves. I think about those of us who are willing to be available for the hurting people we run into, whether from illness, divorce, or life’s difficulties there is a reward for us just by being there for them. There is a peace of mind in knowing that you provided comfort by being there for these people.

You never know when that last conversation will be, I suggest that you reach out to those who you’ve lost contact with and make an effort to reconnect. It could be a family member, a close friend, a former teacher, who knows! It’s worth the effort to do so. Time does heal most wounded spirits. We all have them. I knew that my new friend was in a good place after we talked. She was ready for a new adventure when returning home, that was getting ready for medical intervention and surgery. What is it that you need to do to reach out to total strangers or family members. Is it uncomfortable and awkward for you, you’re not sure what to say, or you’ll say the wrong thing? I’d say, just be yourself and enjoy meeting someone and making a new friend.

Here is my challenge for you these next few months. Reach out to someone over the holidays. Many struggle with this time of year. They don’t have anyone to celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Years day. Call long-lost family members or friends, make an effort to reach out and see how they’re doing. It takes a little effort on your part and would mean so much to them.

I remember as a high school kid working for a drug store on the south side of Chicago. I would deliver medications for those who couldn’t pick them up, mostly senior citizens. I had one lady during the holidays call the drug store and ask for me personally to deliver her items she ordered over the phone. Toothpaste, toilet paper, stationery, etc. I would always spend 15 minutes or so with her asking how her day was and what she had planned for the evening. She always had cookies waiting when I got there. After the holidays she stopped calling, and I wondered if she was ok.

The drug store got a call from her son asking for me. He was angry that I delivered all the items she wanted, and they were all scattered in a spare bedroom in her apartment. Why did you keep delivering items she had already ordered? I paused, then wanting to be respectful, mentioned that she wished you had spent time with her. I said that he was the only son she had, there was no other family member that would check on her. I was there for her when I delivered her medications; I always would ask how she was doing. The reason he called was to tell me his mother passed away. I felt so sorry for him. Take time to prevent things like this from happening, make a difference in someone’s life today. Don’t wait until it’s too late.

Do you feel it’s hard to reach out to someone who is lonely? Are you lonely and want someone to reach out to you and you’re not sure how to make that happen? Would you like to find a core group of friends to do things within a safe setting? Have you experienced loneliness and want to help others who struggle with being alone? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow loneliness to control the new experiences that you can enjoy today.

Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people going through tough times of loneliness.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!