When You Can’t Forgive Yourself (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I recall a while back a man that I knew hurt several people including himself. He was so into himself that he took advantage of his family, friends and co-workers by asking to borrow money. He used it for drugs and gambling. He almost died of an overdose and got his life together. He had many things he needed to get taken care of. He needed to make things right with the people he used and hurt. He went to each person and personally apologized for his actions and paid the money he borrowed with interest.

The guilt he had and the unforgiveness he carried with him disappeared when he made things right. My friends the healing you need has to take place in your own heart. You have to let go of the guilt, shame, and the unforgiveness you have placed on yourself. I like to say this, confessing to God and asking forgiveness for your past is also part of your healing. If God can forgive you, why can’t you forgive yourself?

Once you have forgiven yourself, the next step is to STOP being critical of yourself and beating up on the people you love and care about. Some people who just can’t let it go, keep believing that there is no hope for them and believe this lie they keep telling themselves. Stop already; you’re not this horrible person you keep telling yourself that you are. That is behind you. Remember that!

Are there things you just can’t let go of, and it’s killing you inside? Do you need help in taking the right steps and learning how to forgive yourself from something in your past? Have you been hurt by someone and need to move on with your life. Do you need freedom from past hurts and to let go? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give Dr. Mike a call he can help you through the process of finding the freedom that you need. Call him at 303.880.9878 

When You Can’t Forgive Yourself (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

If you live with this individual, you see what their unforgiving attitude has done to their health. It creates all kinds of health issues. Unforgiveness is like cancer to the bones. You won’t get better living in this world of guilt and shame, you may feel lethargic and can’t function. You may have other health issues related to the depression you allowed yourself to have, all because you will not forgive yourself. Here are a few concerns that I have for those suffering from guilt and self-unforgiveness.

• Heart-related problems
• Lack of sleep
• Lack of concentration
• Depression
• Tense muscles
• Fatigue
• Digestion problems
• Unexplained illnesses, there are many more chronic illnesses associated with guilt and self-unforgiveness to list here.

I want to look at what your next steps should be and how to move forward and take back control of your life. You need to be brutally honest with yourself when making a self-evaluation and letting go of the guilt that you carry.

Forgiving Yourself Opens Doors for Healing

What did you do that was so bad that you couldn’t let go of? Put a name to it, identify it by name. By doing this, you start the healing process of self-forgiveness. Here are the four common mistakes we make in life and for some can’t forgive themselves for failing in these areas.

• We give up on things that are traditional in our minds: like relationships in our marriage, family
• Our actions have deeply wounded someone we care about
• We have self-inflicted physical or emotional pain on ourselves by bad habits, Like smoking, alcohol abuse, overeating, etc
• You failed to act when you were needed; you didn’t reach out to someone who desperately needed your help. Like family crisis, or disagreements you could have settled in your family.

Understand why the way you feel and how to deal with it in a healthy manner.

Can you specifically in detail name what the pain was that you caused someone? If you can share that with someone that you can trust this can help you sort out the details, you need to talk about. Keep in mind that we all make mistakes during our lifetime. You aren’t the only one who has messed up. We’re all in that boat with you. What would sharing with someone do to help me heal? Once you tell someone what you’ve done, this helps you understand that confessing opens the door of healing by realizing everyone makes mistakes. It helps you face what you have done and keeps you from being in denial and forgetting what you need to work on. It’s pretty easy to bury the hurts and past under the carpet and not deal with them. I can guarantee that these feelings of guilt will not allow you to forget if you don’t deal with them.