Avoid the Wrong Kind of People (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will talk about how to deal with gossips in your married life and the problems they can cause and how to avoid them. If your marriage is in trouble and you are looking for someone of the opposite sex to talk to about your marriage problems and think this is a good idea, think again. If you are having problems in your marriage, avoid these marriage killers.

• Avoid sharing your personal marriage problems with the opposite sex
• Don’t compare your spouse to others
• Don’t seek advice from known gossips
• Don’t meet the opposite sex for drinks after work
• Avoid being alone with someone you’re attracted to
• Avoid after work phone calls

Another group of people to avoid are the gossips in your life. They are the backbone of people spreading lies and disinformation. Ask yourself what is the purpose of gossiping about someone? Does gossip benefit the person being talked about? Gossips have caused much division in families, work, schools, and friends. I’ve learned over the years that those who gossip usually have no loyalty to anyone. They are despised by all. If you share any confidential information with a gossip, then plan on many knowing something that you shared in confidence. Never share your marriage problems with a gossip.

I shared a story a while back, and I like the storyline on this. The article “How to Stop A gossip in Their tracks,” By Dr. Michael Brooks, gave an example of dealing with a gossip in a church setting. I loved the setup of a gossip being caught in her own trap. Here is the story for your enjoyment.

Mildred, the church gossip stayed busy sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extracurricular activities but feared her enough to maintain their distance and silence.

She made a critical mistake one day when she accused Frank, a new church member, of being an alcoholic. She claimed she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon. She accused Frank in front of several church members that she saw his truck parked in front of the bar and wanted to know what he was doing there! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain or defend himself or deny anything.

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house and walked home. He intentionally left it parked at her home all night!! (You gotta love Frank!) Needless to say, Mildred’s days of gossiping came to an abrupt end.

Don’t you just love how Mildred became the talk of the town? I wonder how many people laughed when they heard she was now the victim of her own gossip.

Next week I will explain the T.H.I.N.K. system and how that will keep you out of trouble and avoid the gossips in your life.

Are you afraid to confront the wrong kind of people in your life? Are you involved in a wrong kind of relationship and need help getting out of it? Do you have friends who are involved with drugs, alcohol and want you to join them, and you can’t say NO? Would you like a plan that can help you eliminate the wrong kind of people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone (303.880.9878) or via Zoom. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

The Day you Decide to Divorce (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

You’ve been thinking about it for weeks, maybe even months. You can’t pretend anymore that everything is alright in your marriage. You wake up in the morning feeling guilty that you’re living a lie. You remain silent; you avoid conflict or any confrontation for that matter. You agree to things with your spouse that you normally don’t, just to keep the peace.

Do you have a real reason to file for divorce?

You have thought about how unhappy you’ve been for what seems years; you find yourself daydreaming about being free and on your own. You see yourself in new and exciting relationships. Most people who are thinking of divorce want the peace and calmness they deserve. They think, why shouldn’t I be happy and enjoy the rest of my life in peace? After all, I’ve devoted my life to my spouse and children and need time for myself. I deserve a life that I can enjoy and not be accountable to anyone.

For those of you who have considered divorcing, I’m sure that several of these thoughts have raced through your mind after an argument, a sleepless night of worry or realizing that you want out. I see many clients who struggle with this thought process. It’s not an easy place to be in, nor to be weighing on your mind 24/7. In fact, I’m sure that many people considering divorce right now are struggling with pulling the trigger and starting the divorce process. It’s a hard decision and a lasting one at that!

I want to bring to your attention a few important things before you take that next step. Ask yourself these questions; am I filing for divorce because I’m angry and doing it out of spite? Have I thought through all my options of trying to save the marriage before I file? What are the real reasons I’m filing? Have I tried marriage counseling/coaching with my spouse? Are there tools that I need to use to help me make my decision for example; (better communication, better listening, better understanding, etc.?)

Impulsive divorce demands backfire and will cause you and your spouse a great deal of harm and irreparable damage to your relationship. I tell my clients look at every option and examine the real reason for wanting a divorce. Some people file because they are talked into it by a well-meaning family member or friends. You have to decide on your own and make this decision by yourself. Don’t allow someone to convince you into filing for a divorce. You will live to regret it down the road. I have had many people in my office brokenhearted and angry because they allowed someone to make the decision for them to file for divorce. The regrets these people go through is painful and agonizing.

I’ll ask this one more time, and I want to bring this to your attention. Ask yourself these questions; am I filing because I’m angry and doing it out of spite? Have I thought through all my options of trying to save the marriage before I file? What are the real reasons I’m filing? Have I tried marriage counseling/coaching with my spouse? If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then give Dr. Mike a call he can help with this difficult process of deciding on your next steps and what to do. Call him at 303.880.9878

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!