Gossip, the Divider of Friends (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will continue with: what to do about the gossips in your life. Remember gossips in all relationships are bad, there is no excuse for them. How many people have you known going through a divorce had gossip associated with it? You heard the juicy details blow by blow, the fighting, who filed and why. Some people start adding their own details and making up outright lies about one of the people involved in the divorce. The accusations, the personal insults are spread like wildfires.

Gossip, will distroy family and friends relationships, and marriages.

Case in point, and this actually happened to me. I was working at a shipping company as a part-time employee while attending college. My soon to be ex moved out of our house to figure things out. It was a friendly agreement between us both and extremely civil for the sake of our daughter. A week after that happened I had a co-worker come up to me and ask me “why did I kick my wife out of the house?” I asked him, “who told you that?” He said, “Dolly did.” I knew Dolly as the town gossip. Then at our fifteen minute break-time, another co-worker came up to me and asked the very same question. “Why did I kick your wife out of the house?” I said under my breath, let me guess, Dolly told you that, right? He said “yes, how did you know?” I knew the town gossip was busy at work trying to stir up trouble. I knew what I had to do when I got off of work and back from my classes. I wasn’t looking forward to making that call.

I got back from my classes and thought as I drove back how to confront this woman. I was pretty upset and knew she was hitting her circle of friends with gossip about myself and wife. I walked in the door went to the phone and made the call. She answered the phone, and I confronted her. She didn’t deny the fact that she was gossiping. That made me more angrier. I asked her why she would say outright lies without talking to either one of us and getting the facts. Her comeback was outrageous. “I’ve heard bits and pieces about you both and others have shared with me things they know, I’ve got the story straight so don’t call me again. I asked my wife if she would come over and we both would make a call to Dolly and set her straight. She agreed to, and we made that call. My wife told her the facts, and I did as well. Do you think that stopped her, not on your life? She used what we said to twist the story of a divorce into a gossip tabloid for who would ever listen to her. Some people just don’t care about the lies they spread.

Next week, I will give you some advice that could change your life if followed and it will keep you out of trouble if you’re tempted to gossip about someone.

Do you suspect that you’re becoming a gossip? Have you been wounded by a gossip and are hurting from it? Do you want to confront someone who has gossiped about you? Do you need to go to someone you gossiped about and make things right between you and the other person? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow an old love to destroy your relationship. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people going through tough times.

Are You Allowing Your past to poison your Future (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Quick question, how many of us are still stuck in the past with the wrongs people have done to us? Let’s face it; we all know people in our lives who just won’t let go of things done to them or problems they have brought on by themselves. I think it’s extremely important that we look at why focusing on past failures, mistakes, unmet expectations can cloud our future.

Dad was angry his daughters decided to plan their own futures.

I knew a man who just wouldn’t let go of his anger about the way his three daughters turned out. He had their education planned out, where they would go to college, how high their GPA’s should be. He controlled every aspect of their lives. He was very controlling about the people they dated. His wife had no say in his planning for the kid’s futures. He expected them to work in his engineering firm when they graduated from college. As we know, kids do their things, choose their own friends and the people they date. They also have a good idea on what they want to do for work and what school they want to attend.

As his daughters went through high school the battles began, fights occurred over several issues about their education, who they dated and their lifestyles. The dad felt he was losing control over his kids. Let’s just say the kids won out. He was insisting that they pay for their own education and living expenses. He checked out of their lives and became a recluse in his own home. When the girls came home on weekends, he had nothing to do with them. He avoided seeing them or speaking with them. He was always busy when the kids wanted to talk with him, and his wife confronted him about his behavior. This lead to big arguments with his wife and eventually a divorce that he didn’t want. But his pride got in the way, and he still wouldn’t budge.

When his oldest daughter got married, she wanted her dad to walk her down the isle, and he refused to attend her wedding. How bullheaded was this action towards his daughter? Most of us would agree that he took this to an extreme and lost out his daughter’s wedding. I look at it this way; he allowed his past to poison his future with his girls, wife, and God knows who else.

We will continue our story next week “Are You Allowing Your Past to Poison Your Future”! Plus, I’ll give you some tips on how to prevent the of poisoning your future.

Are you holding on to your past hurts and can’t experience joy in your life? Do you still hold on to memories and your future seems hopeless? Do you want to be free of your past so you can have a wonderful future? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give Dr. Mike a call at 303.880.9878. He can help you with relationship problems.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!