What A Divorce Coach Can Do For You! By Dr. Michael Brooks

Did you know that most attorneys are not trained to act as Counselors or Divorce Coaches and cannot provide the proper emotional support that their clients need? As a result, the attorney and client spend hours discussing the emotional aspects of divorce and the client ends up paying a large bill and receives little more than a shoulder to cry on. Attorneys want to help you with the legal aspects of your divorce, not to be your Divorce coach or counselor. That’s not their job!

Many of my clients come to me with little or no energy left to accomplish what they want out of life (life’s battles). They say that there always seems to be a mountain to climb (major problem), and for others, a wall (major disaster) to run into. Does this sound familiar?

Divorce Coaching offers structure and holds clients responsible for assuming a proactive role. A Coach may recommend material for clients to read, work on, or refer to for future use. Clients can benefit by working with a Coach in setting realistic expectations for the process and receiving education about the options available for divorce. Being informed and prepared helps clients make important decisions with confidence. Guiding clients in clarifying their thoughts, needs, and concerns, in order to communicate more effectively, is another important function of the Coach. Clear, purposeful, and rational communication helps to ease tension and foster understanding between spouses, as well as parents and children.

Much like any crisis or trauma, the early emotions of a pending divorce include shock, disbelief, denial, anger, and the pain associated with the loss. Once the early emotions have been experienced, there is a need for people going through a divorce to make sure they continue to take the necessary steps in moving toward recovery. As with any significant loss that involves a meaningful relationship, divorce can lead someone to a place of anger, bitterness, and lonely despair. Dr. Mike will walk you through the critical role of forgiveness in divorce recovery. Especially when it comes to wrestling with issues, like trying to prove who’s right or wanting to get even.

In addition, many divorcing couples wind up in the traditional litigation route because they are reacting to fear, anger, and a desire for getting even and are not thinking about what will happen once the divorce battle has ended.

After the grief process has run its course, divorced men and women must begin to consider their next steps in getting back to a healthy level of functioning. While this may not necessarily mean starting a new romance there is a need to take stock and evaluate relationships with family members and friends.

Part of building a new life is the acceptance of having been divorced. There are key issues in starting over, these include the need to avoid a victim mindset, having a balanced life and building self-esteem, and considering the future in terms of family, jobs, and finances.

After the grief process has run its course, divorced men and women must begin to consider their next steps in getting back to a healthy level of functioning. While this may not necessarily mean starting a new romance there is a need to take stock and evaluate relationships with family members and friends.

Did you know that…
Americans divorce more than any country in the history of the world.
The divorce rate has increased in the U.S. every decade since 1890.

Dynamics of Divorce Coaching:
Delayed and later-life marriages are the norm for society today.
Divorce is often a lengthy process that can last for years.
The person who often seeks divorce coaching is the one who did not initiate the divorce proceedings.
Divorce coaches help repair and rebuild a life.
How the biological parents dealt with divorce literally determined the future of their sons and daughters.

What Divorce Coaching will do for you:
Help you manage the early emotions.
Move you towards acceptance.
Process the grief and loss.
Understand the grief cycle.
Do’s and don’t’s in your divorce.
Forgiveness and letting go.
Building a new life.
The Five Keys to starting over.
Barriers to new relationships.
Finding new relationships.
Now what? Living in a blended family.

Are you in the process of Divorce? Do you have a relationship that isn’t working, or that you want to improve and work on? Is your marriage in trouble, and is there still hope of reconciliation? Or do you need to end an unhealthy relationship? If you answered yes to any of these, I can help you as a Divorce Coach. You can call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you have any questions.

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (2) By Dr Michael Brooks In today’s article, I believe that “The lack of communication in marriages today is a major reason for divorces.” Dr Mike Brooks. I have some suggestions for those of you who want to have a great marriage, (Work on it daily!) Please read and learn from these articles and how they can prevent divorce. Just being a spectator in your marriage will not work! Let’s look at the lack of communication and how that can destroy your marriage and any relationship for that matter! More often than not spouses seem to think that their better half can read their minds and know what to say and do. I have heard this over and over in my office several times. Here is a classic example. Wife says to the husband, “Honey did you put gas in my car?” Why, no I didn’t, why do you ask? “You always do and I was just reminding you that I need gas in my car. ”To continue reading this article go to the following link below:
The Fastest Way to End Your Marriage (2) By Dr Michael Brooks

Facing Your Giants (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Facing Your Giants (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue facing your giants, let’s look at what causes some of the giants you face. So my question for you today: what are the Giants that you’re facing and want help in confronting? You may have one or several Giants that control you. Divorce/separation is a giant many will face at some time during their lifetime; whether you are in this process or a parent of an adult child who is going through a divorce or separation, this can be a big as a giant that you or your loved one will ever face. When someone doesn’t want a divorce, the pain that this causes will feel like death for those getting divorce papers served on them. To continue reading this article go to the following link below:
Facing Your Giants (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Addicted to Facebook? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Addicted to Facebook? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks I walked into a restaurant a few days ago, and as I waited in line to place my order, I looked around and saw most everyone on their cell phones sitting at tables eating. There were entire families on their phones; there were couples not engaged in speaking with each other but sitting across the table from each other texting. This is becoming a problem for many individuals who are either addicted to their phones or at the beginning stages of addiction. I hear people talking about FaceBook and the things they read on it. Let’s face it, many people post their dirty laundry (dark secrets) and wonder why they get attacked by followers and complain when others give them advice they don’t want to hear. To continue reading this article, go to the following link below:
Are You Addicted to Facebook? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Internet and social networks replace live communication. Facebook is a real threat to many relationships within the family – horizontal

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks We are continuing our article on “Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce?” Learn how to avoid the pitfalls of divorce and possibly save your marriage. There are several tips that can help you along the way of deciding what your next steps should be. “What do we do now,” is pretty important… Step three, ok, your relationship is still up in the air after you’ve talked, your not sure where your marriage is headed. You have no answers and yet neither of you wants to commit to getting a divorce, so, what do you do now? I think that this step in figuring “What do we do now,” is pretty important. I suggest starting building each other up, talk about your spouse’s positive attributes and what they mean to you. To continue reading this article go to the following link below:
Are You Serious, You Want a Divorce? (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Getting Away From it All (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Getting Away from It All (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will be talking about boundaries and how to use them. See if any of these complaints sound like the ones you have struggled with!

I was looking back and thought that’d I share some of the complaints from clients whose spouse brought home their work, see if any of these resonate with you.

  • Please leave your work at the office; we hardly spend any time together
  • All you do is stay in the office downstairs; you hardly see the kids or me
  • What’s more important, your work that you bring home or the kids and I?
  • We had dinner planned with our friends tonight, are you kidding me that your boss wants you to work from home tonight? This dinner has been planned for over a month.
  • Your children don’t ever get to spend time with you, why? Because you’re always doing your work at home
  • You’re always on the cell phone with your boss when we go out for dinner, can’t you turn that *#%^!! Cell phone off?

For those of you who are married to your job, I want to give you a word of advice. STOP, repeat STOP, stop bringing your work home and start to become the spouse and parent that your family needs you to be.

To continue reading this article go to the link below:

Is Separating a Good Thing (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Is Separating a Good Thing? (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Did you know that separation can help some people recover from of infidelity? Think about it, trust is the biggest deal breaker in most relationships, right? Without it, there is really nothing that will keep a relationship together. Unfortunately, many marriages will have one of the spouse’s cheat on the other. It happens, and we can’t hide that fact. So, how does a trial separation help a couple dealing with an affair?

  • An affair causes so much sadness; it’s like the death of two close friends. Infidelity is also similar to the death of a relationship. We grieve over the loss of trust especially from someone we are married to. An important fact to know that there is no time limit for someone grieving over their spouse that cheated on them. This is an important part of the healing process. It must happen for the healing to begin.
  • Figuring out what caused the affair, this can be nerve-racking for the one cheated on. Many affairs start because of the lack of sex in the relationship, or the opportunity that someone couldn’t pass it up. Either way, I would suggest not going into detail about any part of the physical affair.
  • Learning how to trust again by communication. The more open you are about your needs in your relationship, the deeper the trust level grows. Being open takes courage and letting go of your insecurities. I know trust is earned over a period of time, that is entirely up to you and your spouse how long this will be.
  • Getting to know yourself during the separation period can open some doors, that long have been closed. Learning who you are during this process can reveal some of the things you need to work on. If you feel like your self-esteem has taken a hit, then, by all means, work on it, if self-discipline is another area that you need to spend time on, make it happen. Use this time to better yourself and learn to love yourself again.
  • I would suggest not running off to find a lawyer to start the divorce paperwork. Take some time to think about your next steps. If a trial separation is something you may want to consider, then sit down and make some ground rules you both can live by.

Time does heal; it’s just a matter if you can work out the details and try to make your relationship work. I think people should at least give it a try and see what happens. I know some men and women will never agree to try after they have been cheated on. I understand that if they can’t, why try? It would only lead to heartache at the worst.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!