Ok, its the first of the Year, your sitting home in your easy chair pondering, “what am I going to do with my life?” I hate my life, I hate my job, I hate where I live, nothing is working out for me. At one time or another we have had these thoughts and felt hopeless. Are you in this stage of your life? If you are, then there is hope for you! Nothing is so bad that you can’t get control over it and have some plans to help you through the process of regaining your life back. You just have to know how to do it.
I can remember several years back, while sitting on my back deck over looking the Rock River in Wisconsin. It was a beautiful fall afternoon in mid-October. The leaves on the black walnut tree were a florescent yellow that illuminated the entire area. I looked at the oak leaves in their array of yellow, oranges and reds. I watched the ducks as they landed in the river not more then 50 feet from where I was sitting. The smell of fall leaves mixed with fresh cut grass was very invigorating. I was staring a large rock in the middle of the slow moving river. Suddenly, I began to see a movie play of my life, mostly the failures and the what if’s! I saw the hurts that I caused others and the hurts of other directed at me. This movie that I was watching, my life, my story, was not pleasant to view. I was transfixed on this rock in the river, and the movie continued to play. It seemed as if I had no power to stop it.
At one scene, I saw my failed marriage, and all the pain associated with it. Then I saw all the places that I lived in my lifetime and the places that brought a lot of pain. I wanted to turn and look away from this movie, but I couldn’t, I wanted to see more misery in my life. I saw family and friends that have passed on, ones that I missed and loved so much. I realized that I was not very happy with my life or anything associated with it. Then for a brief second, I could hear the ducks in the background. I looked around and focused back on the rock. I stared at the rock, and nothing happened, then I realized the movie in my mind was over. I slowly stared up at the clouds and then wondered, why, what was the purpose of my life being played before me?
How many of you have flashbacks about your past or the things you hated about your life? I get calls and e-mails from people who struggle with negativity in their lives. It keeps them down and haunts them constantly. There is no reason to dwell on your past failures and mistakes, there is no reason to focus on the things you hate! So, how do we take back our lives and focus on our future? The first thing we need to do is realize that we are human, and we fail. Yes, there are things we hate in life but cannot make that the center of attention for us. We need to put that way of thinking behind us. You say you hate where you live, so what are you going to do about it? Sit and do nothing or make a move to change the situation. You can start checking the paper for a different place to live, that’s one option, or you can paint, replace furniture and make the place look different in appearance. Doing nothing means living with pain, and not moving forward. Taking control of your life means being proactive and making things happen.
Now, the rest of my story I shared with you, I hated where I lived, I hated my job, I hated my life. I was one miserable man with what seemed no future in life. I needed to make things happen and knew it better be soon. So, I made a game plan (it was now or never) I have always wanted to move to Colorado. So, I checked into making a move out west. I made the calls to get the ball rolling, I contacted friends who lived out in Colorado for their idea’s and input. I put my house up for sale and within two weeks it sold. My view on my future became exciting again. I took that leap of faith needed to make things happen, I just had to put it into God’s hands. I have never regretted my move to the great state of Colorado. I love where I live and all that has happened in my life. The tips I’m about to give you work. Here are some tips to help you through the process:
1. Take some time and write down your goals, what is it that you want to change? Spend some quite time about 20 minutes, turn off the television, or radio and write down everything that comes to mind. Focus on “What changes do I need to make in my life”.
2. After you write down the changes that you want to make in the 20 minutes allowed, then prioritize them to most important to least important. Think hard on this, several may be very close in your order of importance.
3. Then after completing your list, take the number one item you have chosen and start making a list of action items or next steps, to make the change happen. If your number one item was you hate the place you live, then start by writing down what needs to happen to deal with it. Check the local want ads to find another place to live, maybe in the same neighborhood, or another town. Look on-line for places to rent, you never have to leave your home and you can see pictures of the places that are up for rent. Figure out what your budget is and start making phone calls. Make appointments to see the places that are available for rent.
4. Then take care of the details, signing a lease, hiring a moving company, or ask your friends help you move your furniture and possessions, changing your mailing address with the post office, getting electrical, water and phone service moved. I think you get the idea, when you want to make changes, you have to make things happen, so having action items posted to each item on your list, will help you understand the next steps that you need to make.
If you need Coaching during your initial planning stages, please give me a call. We can work together during this process to make it easier for you to get things done. If you are having trouble with organizing your plans, thoughts, or you get side tracked easily, call me!
If you would like some help in dealing with personal issues in your life or the relationship that you’re in, you can contact Mike at 303.456.0555. If you need more information about the Professional Accountability Partner Program, call 303.456.0555 or go to contact Mike link to set up a free consultation appointment. Dr. Mike’s website is www.applicablecoaching.com all calls are confidential and your privacy is protected. Check out Mike’s blog at: https://applicablecoaching.com/blog/ I always welcome your thoughts and comments on today’s coaching article.