Cell Phones and the Death of Relationships!

Cell Phones and the Death of Relationships By Dr. Michael Brooks

I went to a fast food restaurant and was having lunch with a friend of mine last week, when suddenly several junior high kids rushed in and sat at the vacant tables surrounding my friend and I. The kids took out their cell phones from their backpacks and began to text each other in the restaurant. They were showing each other some of the pictures they had on their cell phones. The older boys went off to the side, looking at some questionable material on their phones. I could tell by the way some of the boys had their hands cupped over their mouths while looking at the one boy’s cell phone while others were laughing and saying play it over again. The girls were in their group looking and sharing what they had on their phones. They were giggling and laughing while looking at their friend’s phones. I began to think, so much for sit down lunches and making new friends.

Internet and social networks replace live communication with family and friends.

Can you believe that this seems to be a hot topic in today’s culture and around the world today? If you think about it, parents use electronics for babysitting their kids; teens use them to connect with other teens, and adults use them to kill time while waiting for work, waiting for the kids, or just to humor themselves.

Let’s look at the pre-era of cell phones, electronics, and family connections. I can remember when we sat around the dinner table and actually talked to each other. My parents would have classical music playing in the background (to give us culture, my mom would say) as we ate. I wasn’t crazy about that kind of music, but at least it was something to listen to. The four of us kids would share around the dinner table with our parents what our day was like at school, the kids we played with, and things we wanted to do on the weekends. I have fond memories of many of those talks. My dad and mom would show interest in our daily lives. They’d help us with our homework; they’d sit and listen to us about the concerns we had. I know it was a different time, but I see the disconnect between parents and children, teachers and students, and even kids to kids in today’s family and society. I often wonder what’s going to happen to the families that allow electronics to control most of the communication within the family?

I have talked to Baby Boomers who feel that the 1950’s and 1960’s were the start of the decline of the family and the rise of the electronic revolution. For many of us, TV dinners were the rage. You watched TV together on TV trays; nobody talked to each other, and all eyes were glued to the TV. It was a convenience for mom to put the frozen TV dinners into the oven for everyone and not prepare full-blown meals. We were captivated by Ed Sullivan, Mister Ed, I love Lucy, and Howdy Doody. What used to be on early television in the 1940’s was news and other broadcasts. Then popular radio shows transitioned into television shows in the 1950’s. Then in the mid-1950’s is when some families started watching TV for the first time. In the 1960’s is when most American families had television sets in their homes. This is a short history lesson on the advancement of electronics and the decline of the family.

Today most people have a cell phone or I-pad that has replaced the TV, and it’s carried around in backpacks, on your person, in the classroom, at the dinner table, and at the workplace.

Next week, I will continue on with how electronics are being abused in the family, at school, and with friends.

Do you feel frustrated about your family’s use of electronics? Have you given up trying to get the kids off their cell phones? Do you want to save your family from electronics but don’t know what your next steps are? Do you want to improve your communication with your family at the dinner table and need help in putting boundaries on all electronics? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow hopelessness to destroy your relationship. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people going through tough times.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Zoom (if you want to Zoom with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado.

No One’s Going to Respect You Till You Respect Yourself

No one’s going to respect you till you respect yourself

By Dr. Michael Brooks

I asked my client at one of our meetings..”Do you respect yourself?” He responded by saying ya, I do. I am a fun loving guy who is good-looking and has a nice job. I have a lot to offer any woman I date. She’s getting a great deal when she dates me. “So, yes, I respect myself.”

It was several weeks before I heard from him, then out of the blue, I got a call, and he was crying over the phone and really upset. He stopped by and shared that he was in love with a wonderful woman and she broke up with him! He said that she was everything he wanted in a potential marriage partner. She was caring, compassionate, understanding, loving, kind, and fun to be with. They did all kinds of things together, concerts, hiking, dances, and eating out. They had great talks and were madly in love. So I asked him what happened.

Well, he said. When I first met her, she had a great figure (a former NFL cheerleader). As we dated, I noticed that she was putting some weight on, and I mentioned to her that she should start exercising to lose weight. I like my women just the right size, he told her. She stood up, looked at him, and said, “really,” and walked right out of his life right then and there. He was shocked and thought that they had a great relationship, so why would she want to end it? He cried as he shared this story. He wanted her back and didn’t know what to do.

Then a light bulb went on after we had met several times. He now realized how he mistreated all the women he dated. He said to me, “how can I show respect to anyone when I have no respect for myself?”

He hit rock bottom really fast. As he talked, he opened up about the deep hurts he had in his life. He was a macho man on the outside but deeply wounded on the inside. He wanted people to think he was in full control when he actually wasn’t. People thought he had it together when they were around him, but internally he was mush.

He wanted so bad to get back together with this woman, he wept as he sat in my office during each visit. He was crushed and started to see how much of his behavior had caused this break-up. I asked him what did he do when she broke off their relationship. I reacted in a harsh way! I sent her texts and e-mails scolding her and chastising her. I attacked her, her family, and her work. I was awful in my treatment of her. Then I would text her and tell her how much I loved her and wanted her back. She must have thought I was a nut case.

When your true actions reveal the real intent of who you are, you’re headed in for some real hard times. If you are knowingly doing things out of disrespect, then stop now and get help before you do too much damage. Next week we will continue this story and what my client needed to do to get help for his disrespecting others.

Do you have a hard time respecting others at home, at work, or with your friends? Do you feel disrespected at home by your spouse or children? Do you feel disrespected at work and want help in stopping it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give dr Mike a call today he can help you!

What’s The One Regret That You Have? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

What’s The One Regret That You Have? (1)

By Dr. Michael Brooks

I’m sure many of us live with regrets from the past, maybe from your childhood, teens, or even as an adult. I can look back on several regrets throughout my lifetime. I could have been a better son, father, friend, or relative. Some of the choices that I’ve made, and there are many, I would put in the category of big-time regrets.

How many can you look back in your life and know you didn’t do the right thing? Maybe you forgot a promise you made or intentionally told someone that you would help them and had no intentions of doing so. My point in this article is not to make you feel bad but to deal with your regrets that you can’t let go of. I have had many clients who live in the past and can’t let go.

I had one woman client who neglected her mother when she was extremely ill; she lived her life for her family while her mother struggled with her health. The mother would call and ask her daughter if she could help get groceries and prescriptions filled. The mother would leave voice mails asking for her daughters’ help. Then one day, the calls stopped, and she heard nothing from her mother for days. Out of curiosity, she stopped by her mother’s small apartment and went in to check on her mother. She was shocked to see that the apartment complex maintenance men were cleaning out her mother’s apartment. She asked the cleaning crew what was going on.

The daughter said that one of the cleaning guys said that an old woman that lived there had died. She was stunned and started to cry. As she walked away, the cleaning guy asked her, did you know the old lady that lived there? She continued to walk away.

When we met, she was so racked with guilt and what she had done to her mother. Could this regret have been prevented? Of course, it could have. She said that her mom was a great parent, but her husband didn’t like her mom. So, she decided to cut off seeing her mom because of her husband’s dislike of her mom. My client hated herself, and eventually, she got divorced. She continually struggles with this giant of regret.

Next week we will continue this article about the regrets we face every day and how to deal with them.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Zoom. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Cell: 303.880.9878

Avoid The Wrong Kind of People (4) By dr. Michael Brooks

Avoid the Wrong Kind of People (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I knew a lady that had an addiction to alcohol; she was always drunk or hungover. I watched her as her life started to spin out of control, and she was headed for some serious trouble. Her husband gave her an ultimatum, “stop your drinking or get out.” He and the kids had enough of her drinking. She had a revelation and knew that if she continued to drink with her drinking buddies, she would lose her family and possibly her life.

I ran into her at the grocery store a while back and was surprised to find her sober. She told me she had stopped drinking and had been dry for over two months. I said that was amazing, and how did she do it? Her answer blew me away. She said that she had to “avoid the wrong kind people” in her life and find friends that were healthy and good for her. She did it, and so can you. If you feel that some of your friends are leading you down the path of destruction of your family, health, finances, and sanity, then avoid these “wrong kind of people.”

I’m pretty sure that you know which people are good for you and ones that aren’t. I feel it’s best just to dump the old friends that are the wrong kind of people and find new healthy friends. Don’t fall into the trap that people will not like you because you have done some bad stuff in your past. Healthy people will lift you up and be the right kind of person for you.

Look for these traits in good and healthy people.

  • Friends who will stand beside you when your world is falling apart
  • Someone who will be able to give good sound advice when needed
  • Someone who will not judge you for your past
  • Someone who will encourage you
  • Someone who will be a part of your life and make you feel a part of theirs
  • Someone who will love you unconditionally
  • People that will laugh with you and make you feel good inside
  • People who will not allow you to play the victim card
  • People that will keep you accountable
  • Someone that is uplifting

These are the kinds of healthy people you want in your and your family’s life. Is it worth it to regain control of your life and fight for the lifestyle that you need and your family? Absolutely! There is a price to pay if you don’t heed the advice of “avoiding the wrong kind of people.” Your life can be miserable and unrewarding. You control what happens in your life and are accountable for your actions. Did you know that? You can’t blame others for your problems when you knowingly hang around the wrong kind of people.

Next week we will discover how to deal with the wrong people in your life and how to look out for the warning signs of getting into a bad relationship.

Are you afraid to confront the wrong kind of people in your life? Are you involved in a wrong kind of relationship and need help getting out of it? Do you have friends who are involved with drugs or alcohol and want you to join them, and you can’t say NO? Would you like a plan that can help you eliminate the wrong kind of people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

Avoid The Wrong Kind of People (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Avoid the Wrong Kind of People (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks I have a simple rule that I use when I hear someone gossiping about people. A helpful acronym that you can use when wondering if you should spread a certain piece of information is T.H.I.N.K. Ask yourself the following questions? Are you spreading gossip and why? What will happen if the person you gossiped about confronts you? Is it worth losing a friendship over something that should remain private and you shared?


To continue reading this article go to the following link below.http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/2022/02/avoid-the-wrong-kind-of-people-3-by-dr-michael-brooks-2/

Avoid The Wrong Kind of People (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Avoid the Wrong Kind of People (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will talk about how to deal with gossips in your married life and the problems they can cause and how to avoid them. If your marriage is in trouble and you are looking for someone of the opposite sex to talk to about your marriage problems and think this is a good idea, think again. If you are having problems in your marriage, avoid these marriage killers.

  • Avoid sharing your personal marriage problems with the opposite sex
  • Don’t compare your spouse to others
  • Don’t seek advice from known gossips
  • Don’t meet the opposite sex for drinks after work
  • Avoid being alone with someone you’re attracted to
  • Avoid after work phone calls
Shocked Woman

Another group of people to avoid are the gossips in your life. They are the backbone of people spreading lies and disinformation. Ask yourself what is the purpose of gossiping about someone? Does gossip benefit the person being talked about? Gossips have caused much division in families, work, schools, and friends. I’ve learned over the years that those who gossip usually have no loyalty to anyone. They are despised by all. If you share any confidential information with a gossip, then plan on many knowing something that you shared in confidence. Never share your marriage problems with a gossip.

I shared a story a while back, and I like the storyline on this. The article “How to Stop A gossip in Their tracks,” By Dr. Michael Brooks, gave an example of dealing with a gossip in a church setting. I loved the setup of a gossip being caught in her own trap. Here is the story for your enjoyment.

Mildred, the church gossip stayed busy sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extracurricular activities but feared her enough to maintain their distance and silence.

She made a critical mistake one day when she accused Frank, a new church member, of being an alcoholic. She claimed she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one afternoon. She accused Frank in front of several church members that she saw his truck parked in front of the bar and wanted to know what he was doing there! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain or defend himself or deny anything.

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred’s house and walked home. He intentionally left it parked at her home all night!! (You gotta love Frank!) Needless to say, Mildred’s days of gossiping came to an abrupt end.

Don’t you just love how Mildred became the talk of the town? I wonder how many people laughed when they heard she was now the victim of her own gossip.

Next week I will explain the T.H.I.N.K. system and how that will keep you out of trouble and avoid the gossips in your life.

Are you afraid to confront the wrong kind of people in your life? Are you involved in a wrong kind of relationship and need help getting out of it? Do you have friends who are involved with drugs, alcohol and want you to join them, and you can’t say NO? Would you like a plan that can help you eliminate the wrong kind of people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone (303.880.9878) or via Zoom. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Avoid The Wrong Kind of People (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Avoid the Wrong Kind of People (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

In the course of our lives, I’m sure we have come across people that were not good or healthy for us. Some of these people would ultimately get us into trouble and cause pain for those around us. Possibly people that may have changed the course of our lives and we still to this day regret getting involved with them. Are there people who you avoid today? Keep in mind that the wrong people will have a tendency to drag us down with them. I have seen over the years, many people follow the wrong crowd and have paid dearly with their marriages, their health, their integrity, and their families. For what reason but their own personal pleasures.The pain of divorce continues, until you get help!

The pain from an unhealthy relationship isn’t worth the headaches it will cause you!

I had a friend of mine back in the fourth grade named Pete. This kid was a trouble maker, and I knew it. I was a shy kid who didn’t have many friends; we had just moved to the states from Germany. Pete was a bully and kids were afraid of him. I saw Pete as someone who didn’t have a lot of friends as well. He often picked fights just to show our classmates he ruled our fourth-grade class. One day he walked up to a physically challenged boy in our class and hit him for no reason at all and started making fun of his disability. I knew right then and there I wanted to have nothing to do with Pete. I avoided him whenever I could. One day Pete decided to start hitting me because I avoided him. Being a shy kid, he eventually stopped hitting me because I wouldn’t fight back. Even at that early age, I knew Pete was someone that I should never hang around with; he was the wrong kind of person. Funny, how I knew that as a kid.

Are there specific people that you need to break off friendships with or avoid certain situations that could cause you to compromise your morals, ethics, or integrity? If you have a gut feeling about someone, who isn’t good to have a friendship with don’t! If you are listening to someone who wants you to compromise your integrity and wants you to be a part of it, run from that person as fast as you can!

I had a client many years ago who felt that he needed to spice up his marital relations with his wife. So he, without asking her subscribed to an adult channel so they both could watch it and get some ideas for their bedroom. She was appalled and forbid that he watches pornography in her presence. He thought his actions were innocent and let her know that she was a prude. His supposedly watching porn to help them in the bedroom became an addiction. He is now addicted to pornography, and both are divorced. She couldn’t deal with his addiction and felt emotionally cheated on. He kept telling her it was harmless, and she needed counseling. Pornography is one of the leading causes of divorce. Next week we will be covering dealing with gossips in your life.

Are you afraid to confront the wrong kind of people in your life? Are you involved in a wrong kind of relationship and need help getting out of it? Do you have friends who are involved with drugs, alcohol and want you to join them, and you can’t say NO? Would you like a plan that can help you eliminate the wrong kind of people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or Zoom. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!