Do Not Take Counsel From Your Fears (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Do Not Take Counsel From Your Fears (1)

By Dr. Michael Brooks

Several years ago I was trying to decide if I was going to take a job with the New York Giants football club as a strength and conditioning coach. I pondered my options, what it would take to make that move and how that would effect my family. I had a close friend of mine who played with the Green Bay Packers tell me about this position that opened with the Giants. I worked with him on his training and conditioning before he reported to training camp in Green Bay, Wisconsin. I have to tell you a lot of thoughts raced through my mind. I wondered if I was good enough, did I have what it takes to be in the NFL on a coaching staff that demanded exhaustive hours and months of hard work?
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Oh, I knew how to work with the athletes, but I questioned my ability to understand how this would be a huge challenge for my family. This would be a big move to New York City. I lived there as a kid and remember how busy it was as a 6-year-old. How would it be as an adult, traveling from stadium to home in New York Traffic? I started having fears about taking this job. The what if’s seemed to get in the way. Again, I didn’t question my abilities to be on the coaching staff; it was the other issues. Raising a child in New York City, finding a place to live, that kind of stuff. That’s where my fear began, was I good enough?

Then it dawned on me; I was happy where I was, I was passionate about my work, I loved where I lived and the friends that I had. That’s when I decided that staying put was fine with me. Do I regret not taking that coaching position in New York, sometimes, but also can see the wisdom of not taking it. In life, we cannot be controlled by our fears. We all have them and dealing with them in a healthy way can help us manage the unknown, and the fears that go with them.

I like to think that all of us will never allow our fears to dominate our next steps, that we look at them in such a manner and know the process of how to deal with our fears. I have been asked on several occasions; can fear be a good thing? I think it can be; it protects us from doing dumb things like, Driving too fast around a curve that has known fatalities associated with it. Cheating on your taxes and possibly the IRS finding out or not taking care of your health if you have known health risks. That kind of fear I believe is ok.

I can recall one such patient that I had several years ago who was a janitor at a large department store. He was grossly overweight and didn’t seem to care about his health. As we sat and talked, I asked him if he was concerned about his weight. He said no, not at all. He was tall as he was wide, very short and had a hard time breathing just sitting in a chair as we spoke. He told me he took vitamins and supplements and felt that this was all he needed in taking care of his health. So, in my observation, I’d say he didn’t have any fears or concerns about his poor health, or at least by what I was hearing him say. I offered to help him with his diet, set up an exercise program; he declined all my offers. The fear he wasn’t dealing with was an unhealthy lifestyle, and it eventually cost him his life. Fear can be good and bad. The fear that I’m talking about today is the paralyzing fear that holds us back from making wise decisions and us from being productive in our lives. This kind of fear can cripple us to the point of not being able to function or make healthy choices. That’s the fear I want to address in these articles.

Next week we’ll continue with this article. I’ll give you some of my tips that will help you deal with the everyday fears you face. If you have questions, give me a call or email me.

Are you holding on to your past fears and can’t experience joy in your life? Do you still hold on to fearful memories and your future seems hopeless? Do you want to be free of your Fears so you can have a wonderful future? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give Dr. Mike a call at 303.880.9878. He can help you with relationship problems.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

When You Can’t Forgive Yourself (3)By Dr. Michael Brooks

When You Can’t Forgive Yourself (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Can you identify the hurt that you have and just can’t let go of it and is killing you inside? I know we all have hurts that we live with. Some are unspeakable and create great pain and frustration when we think about them. I had shared this story before about a situation that happened between my mother and me when I was 12 years old. To this day it still bothers me on how I responded to my mom when she accused me of something I didn’t do. Now as a 12-year-old, you’d think that I could control what came out of my mouth.
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She wouldn’t listen to me no matter how I explained the facts. And I have to say to this day she was completely wrong in what she accused me of doing. My younger sister took something she shouldn’t have. My mom didn’t even question her. This went back and forth for most of the evening. Finally, she said, “Mike give me back the watch that dad and I gave you for Christmas.” I told her “NO” she still demanded it back. I relented, and while handing it back to her, I told her that “I hate you.” I have never said that to anybody, yet I felt that when she didn’t believe me. Looking back, I felt a great deal of pain. I’m not saying I feel guilty about it now. Remorseful, yes, absolutely to this day I do. I have even forgiven myself for saying it. I know what the hurt is, I can identify that. I have let it go and moved on with my life. For some people, they just will not release the guilt. You have to understand that your guilty thoughts, your feelings being hurt, the uncomfortable feeling you have when you think about how you beat yourself up over something that happened years ago has to go. These guilty feelings are making you feel worse and will not allow you to heal. You are your own worst enemy. You have to break this bad habit of unforgiveness; it’s keeping you from the healing you need.

I will tell you that I have replayed this conversation between my mother and I over and over again. I saw us vividly in my mind’s eye arguing over that Roy Rodgers watch I got for Christmas. I have to say it consumed as a kid and even into my early adult years. I felt miserable thinking about it. Then I had an idea. I decided every time I would think about, how I hated my mother. I would stop that thought and focus on positive thoughts. I would think about; I am a good person, I help people when needed, I bring joy to other people’s lives. Believe me that helped me so much overcome the feelings of guilt and forgiving myself for something I said and had done years ago.

I remember telling my mom that I was sorry, she forgave me, and for her, it was over. For me, it was just beginning, of allowing negative guilt to consume me. I said I was sorry; that cleared the air with my mom but not so much for me. I looked in the mirror and realized that wasn’t me acting out the way I did towards my mom. Looking back it was the best thing I could do. If you have hurt someone, I suggest that you go to them and say you’re sorry. It needs to be from the heart and face to face if at all possible. It will help heal your heart and open the doors for healing communication. It’s great medicine.

Are there things you just can’t let go of, and it’s killing you inside? Do you need help in taking the right steps and learning how to forgive yourself from something in your past? Have you been hurt by someone and need to move on with your life. Do you need freedom from past hurts and to let go? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give Dr. Mike a call he can help you through the process of finding the freedom that you need. Call him at 303.880.9878

Dealing With Difficult People (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Dealing with Difficult People (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue giving you useful information on dealing with difficult people in your life. Seldom do we know what to say or do with people who are angry and difficult to deal with. Dr. Mike will give you some great advice on how to take back control from difficult people in your life. Dealing with difficult gossips in your life. I know we all have been involved in gossip in one shape or form either on the receiving end or being the person who gossiped. Confronting a gossip in most cases causes the person to be angry and difficult towards you. This is a universal problem in all cultures around the globe. There are gossip magazines, gossip columns in the newspapers and on TV and the internet. Have you ever confronted a gossip? It can be very embarrassing for everyone involved. I listened to a friend of mine gossip about a person he knew that was late on his rent for his business and how he didn’t treat his co-workers very well. He went into great detail of how this man was a poor businessman and wasn’t very honest with his clients. I felt a twinge of pain for the man that was being gossiped about. He wasn’t there to defend himself or explain the reasons for his actions. I think gossip has parted families, in-laws, and close friends. If you’re the one being gossiped about, and I’m sure you have been, it’s a difficult thing to share with you. When we find out naturally, we want to defend ourselves against the person talking about us behind our backs. Confronting a gossip can be very difficult not only for you but the person you will be talking to. Most people who are being confronted about their gossiping will ignore the challenge from you and play the drama king or drama queen role. It’s embarrassing to be called on the carpet for the mistruths they are sharing with others. When someone gossips, they most likely don’t have all the facts and are going by their opinions or what they’ve heard from others. The one most common thread for gossips is that they have a way to much time on their hands. They listen to other gossips spread misinformation and take what they have heard and spread it as fact to anyone who will listen. I had a friend who didn’t have a lot of people he hung out with or knew personally. He was overheard talking with someone at lunch and sharing his opinion about someone at school. Someone overheard him, and he seemed like a gossip magnet for several people. He felt that he an audience of classmates and that he was important to them. He made up all kinds of stories about fellow students. Some half-truths and some just fabricated lies. When people started to sit with him at lunch and listen to the gossip he spread, I knew he was going to have to face some of the people he gossiped about. That day finally happened in the lunchroom a week later. As he was talking to several people at the table, one of my football teammates walked up to him and confronted him and made a scene. The people at his table left him alone with my teammate. I watched as he made it known that he was spreading lies, and it better stop. Gossips think that they are powerful and in the know when they spread gossip. They want to feel important and think that knowing personal details makes them someone who you can trust. Here are some of my tips on what gossip will do if not kept in check: • Gossip can ruin reputations at home, among friends, family and in the workplace. • Most likely the gossip will spread lies, and the gossips reputation is on the line. You don’t want to be known as a gossip. People will avoid you once this label is placed on you. • Is your gossip helpful, uplifting, encouraging, and true? Probably not! • Gossip has a way of getting back to the person you’re talking about, remember that! Next week we will continue with dealing with difficult people in our lives. Anger is a real problem many of us face with loved ones and close friends in our lives. Dr. Mike will share some of his tips to help you win the battle with difficult people. Are you afraid to confront difficult people in your life? Do you have family members who are difficult to get along with? Do you fear family gatherings because of past run-ins with siblings, parents? Would you like a plan that can help you face difficult people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dealing With Difficult People (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Dealing with Difficult People (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue giving you useful information on dealing with difficult people in your life. Seldom do we know what to say or do with people who are angry and difficult to deal with. Dr. Mike will give you some great advice on how to take back control of your life from difficult people. Anger is a real issue with difficult people, like the story mentioned last week about my brother and the woman who took his order. So, how should we deal with angry people who are difficult in our lives? First of all, before you meet with any angry individual, you need to have a plan that will protect you from this person who doesn’t care what they say (how loud) and the surroundings where you’re meeting. Here are some of my tips to help you speak to any difficult person and be in control of the conversation. • I suggest that you first meet with this person in private. Have a meeting at a neutral place if you can set this up. I wouldn’t suggest meeting where people are seated in a crowded restaurant or shopping mall. I have had confrontational meetings in a public library in a conference room. • Stick to the facts of why you are meeting and why. Don’t embellish your story to make a point. If you do this, your meeting will be a total waste. People will figure you out if you’re making things up and be done with your meeting.You will have to go into detail why there is a problem and how it should be resolved. Listen to what is being said from the other person’s perspective. (Important, be a good listener.) • To keep your meeting respective, keep your meeting positive and upbeat. Don’t use an office meeting to confront a person without speaking with them in a private setting. • If the angry or difficult individual wants nothing to do with you after you meet, then let them go. Not everyone will be receptive to meeting with you privately. If they refuse, then move on to the next step and bring a witness with you and sit down and talk. The purpose of meeting with any difficult person is to get closure for each of you. I know this may be uncomfortable and not easy for you but well worth the effort to try to resolve issues between you and the other person. Next week we will continue with dealing with difficult people in our lives. Anger is a real problem many of us face with loved ones and close friends in our lives. Dr. Mike will share some of his tips to help you win the battle with difficult people. Are you afraid to confront difficult people in your life? Do you have family members who are difficult to get along with? Do you fear family gatherings because of past run-ins with siblings, parents? Would you like a plan that can help you face difficult people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878303.880.9878. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

How Important Is Your Integrity (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

How Important is Your Integrity? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue on with our Integrity series and todays series we will be talking about loyalty in your marriage. I have another saying for husbands, wives and partners and I believe it’s appropriate for today’s couples. “When the grass looks greener on the other side, it is God telling you to water the grass that you’re standing on.” You need to be committed to your own spouse and not someone else’s. In these day’s social media has a big impact on today’s divorces. It’s easy to find old boyfriends and girlfriends and never give it a second thought as you begin to get reacquainted with them, that you’re married. A person with integrity will not pursue an old flame. There is no reason too. Remain loyal to your spouse or partner. With the ease of no-fault divorces these days many are rushing to get a quick divorce. The hurt that they can do to their spouses and children because they are filing for a divorce without thinking of the consequences to themselves. So what I am suggesting is be loyal to your spouse, no matter how tempted you are. • Loyalty to your spouse/partner keeps you out of troubleGood communication helps grow trusting relationshipsBe loyal to your spouse/partner in front of your relatives, children, and friends • Being loyal means protecting and defending those you love • Let your spouse/partner know your loyal to them, they need to hear it • Loyalty to your spouse/partner is key in building a healthy relationship • One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555 Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most. Wife confer privately on the phone

How Important Is Your Integrity (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

How Important is Your Integrity? (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks This week we will continue on with our Integrity series and todays series we will be talking about breaking confidences with the people you know. I know for some people it’s tempting to betray someone’s confidence when they get into trouble. What do you mean you may ask? Well, let’s look at someone who might know of an inside secret about a job posting. You’re supposed to keep it confidential yet you tell your good friend about the posting and the word gets out about the posting through your friend although it’s supposed to be confidential. Yet when your friend is asked who told them about the job posting? Either the friend says nothing or exposes you to keep out of trouble. That’s what I am talking about keeping confidences. Have you been tempted to talk about someone behind their back? I think we all can say “guilty as charged.” This is one of the worst offenses people don’t tolerate very well. I have a saying that I like to use “remember the rumors you hear about me are as true as the ones I hear about you.” Stop gossip in its tracks. This is a vital part of integrity that people admire and want to have in their lives. What is the point of talking about people behind their backs? Does it benefit you by slandering someone? Does it make you appear the better person when talking or gossiping about someone? I hope not. Many friendships have been ruined by a gossip as many family relationships. If you have to talk about someone, do it in front of them. That would be the best way to deal with it. Most people would never gossip in front of their victims. Wonder why? The gossiper would get an ear full. Just don’t gossip and avoid the hassle that goes with it. If you don’t have anything to say in a positive manner, don’t say anything. It’s that simple folks. Be in control of your tongue at all times. Integrity in how you talk about others is key to being a trusted friend. • Don’t be known as a gossip in your sphere of influence • Stop gossip in its tracks, don’t repeat what people say and confront them if their sharing information about anyone • Remember whatever is whispered in secret will be shouted from the rooftops • Encourage wholesome and uplifting conversation with your children and those you know • Gossip destroys family, friendships and marriage relationships • Learn to walk away from a gossip at all times • Gossip is unhealthy to the soul • Perhaps the surest test of an individual’s integrity is his refusal to do or say anything that would damage his self-respect. Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555 Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555. Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.

How Important is Your Integrity? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

How Important is Your Integrity? (1)

By Dr. Michael Brooks

I have a friend who makes promises that are not kept very often. I remember asking this person for a ride to an appointment. My car was in the shop and I called and explained that I needed help in getting to this appointment. Keep in mind that this is the first time I’ve asked this person for a favor. I had to leave at 8:00 AM to make an 8:30 appointment. I waited until 8:15 to call and see if they were on their way to get me, I got no answer from this person. I called at 8:20 still no answer. I called another friend down the road to see if he could get me to my appointment. He came right over and got me to my meeting albeit 20 minutes late. I called my friend later that afternoon and talked to him and asked why he didn’t show up. His excuse was that he had other commitments he forgot about and didn’t have time to call me. That my friends is what I call the lack of integrity. Would I call this person ever again? Not at all. If you tell someone you’re going to do something for them, DO IT. Keep your word. Don’t make promises that you don’t intend to keep.
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My question to you, and believe me, I include myself in this question. Who are we when nobody is looking? Are we true to ourselves and others with our words and actions? That’s the kind of integrity I am talking about. We have to live within our own core values and be examples for others when we walk with integrity. My thought is this: Are your words dependable, can people count on you to follow through with what you tell them? Can you be trusted in your words and deeds? Let’s face it most of us have been let down by family member or friends. Yes, even some of our bosses have let us down. In a world of broken promises keep in mind that you’ll do your part to keep your integrity intact.

I can remember when I was 12 years old buying something at a sporting goods store. I paid at the checkout and gave the clerk my money and she handed me back my change. I didn’t even look at the amount she gave me. When I got home and looked at my money, she gave a $20.00 instead of a one-dollar bill. I looked at the $20-dollar bill in disbelief. I knew I couldn’t keep it, I knew what I had to do and headed back to the sporting goods store. After the clerk was done with her customer I went up to her and told her what happened. She was thrilled that a 12-year-old kid returned the money without a parent in tow. She asked for my phone number and called my parents that evening. She thanked them for raising an honest son.

• Keep in mind that people are watching you and want to trust in you. Be that person that walks with integrity
• If someone gives you too much cash back from a sale, return money immediately.
Teach your children about honesty and its rewards, a clean conscious about doing the right thing is key to living a victorious life.
Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity.
• Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.
Next week we will continue “How important is your integrity.” If you have questions concerning the status of your integrity and want to know more on how to restore your integrity call Dr. Mike at 303.456.0555

Do you need help with being a person of integrity? Do you have a hard time keeping your word to family members? Is integrity an issue with you at home or in the workplace? If you answered yes to any of these questions, please give Dr. Mike a call today at 303.456.0555.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Life Coaching Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone 303.456.0555 or via Skype at drmike45. If you’re interested skyping with Dr. Mike send him an e-mail and let him know who you are and your skype name. You can also connect with Dr. Mike on Facebook with sending him a Facebook request at Michael Brooks and get his daily motivational tips and insights. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life counseling and life coaching. We come to you when you need us most.
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