The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

So, here we go, read and see if you’re struggling with number one on my list of discourse. Number one on my list of Seven Sins of Marital Discourse is, don’t make assumptions about your spouse and go with your feelings, yes your feelings are important but so is your spouses. But feelings can be dead wrong and create unwanted anger. I recommend that you sit down and listen to each other’s thoughts and in a civil manner talk about them. Get the facts before fighting.

To continue reading this article go to the following link below:

http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/2018/11/the-seven-sins-of-martial-discourse-2-by-dr-michael-brooks/

The Seven Sins of Marital Discourse (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

The Seven Sins of Martial Discourse (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I’ve often wondered why couples seem to have the same problems crop up in their marriages, year after year? I think once you’ve have discovered your problems in your marriage, you should just sit down, look at each other in the eyes and talk and find a solution to resolve your conflict. Well, not so fast my friend, this sounds easy, but that’s not the way this story ends, it’s just the beginning.

To continue reading this article go to the link below:

idontwantthisdivorce.com/2018/11/the-sev…y-dr-michael-brooks/

Getting Away From it All (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Getting Away from It All (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

When you plan this getaway, let your boss know that you will not be available and that your cell phone will be turned off. Put your spouse and family first. This is one of your boundaries for a happy marriage. It seems to me some people have the cell phone glued to their ears, not sure why they do, but remember leaving work at work is your goal and your responsibility to make it happen.

Let me explain the consequences if you don’t make your family a top priority and put your work first. Most likely two things will happen. Your spouse will give you plenty of warning signs that they are not happy and want things to change or you will be told they have had enough and want out of the marriage. Some spouses will go along with it and keep to themselves, but deep inside they are extremely unhappy with you and putting your work ahead of the family.

So, if you want to keep your family intact, and have a happy marriage, avoid putting the job over your family. It will not be of any benefit to you if you do. I titled this article “Getting Away From It All” for a good reason. Be aware of bringing your work home and expecting your spouse to understand if you neglect your family time.

There is a story I heard about that I want to share with you. The scene if you can imagine has a woman sitting on the couch waiting for her husband to come home from work. She was writing a note in a card she bought for her husband to give him for a special dinner date she planned and for a very special occasion. The husband walks through the door while speaking on his cell phone to his boss at work. He hangs up and informs her that they can’t go out for dinner because his boss has more work for him and he has to head back to the office. As he leaves for the office, he gives her a quick kiss and heads out the door. She stares at the card on the table and now is devastated that the dinner will not happen.

A few hours later while he is at the office working his cell phone rings and it is the police informing him that his wife was killed in a traffic accident. He drops his phone and heads out of his office to rush to the hospital.

He returns home after his trip to the hospital. He walks over to the couch and sits down and is beside himself. He sees the card on the coffee table with his name on it and opens it up and starts to read what his wife had written in the card. She had written that she was pregnant with their first child and that she was happy to share the news with her husband.

Can you imagine what this husband was feeling after reading her handwritten card to him? Now he realizes that not only did he lose his wife but their unborn baby as well. This story is to help you see that leaving your work at work is pretty important in growing a healthy relationship with your spouse and kids. There are things much more important than your work. Now the ball is in your court!

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Getting Away From it All (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Getting Away from It All (2) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This week we will be talking about boundaries and how to use them. See if any of these complaints sound like the ones you have struggled with!

I was looking back and thought that’d I share some of the complaints from clients whose spouse brought home their work, see if any of these resonate with you.

  • Please leave your work at the office; we hardly spend any time together
  • All you do is stay in the office downstairs; you hardly see the kids or me
  • What’s more important, your work that you bring home or the kids and I?
  • We had dinner planned with our friends tonight, are you kidding me that your boss wants you to work from home tonight? This dinner has been planned for over a month.
  • Your children don’t ever get to spend time with you, why? Because you’re always doing your work at home
  • You’re always on the cell phone with your boss when we go out for dinner, can’t you turn that *#%^!! Cell phone off?

For those of you who are married to your job, I want to give you a word of advice. STOP, repeat STOP, stop bringing your work home and start to become the spouse and parent that your family needs you to be.

To continue reading this article go to the link below:

Getting Away From it All (1) By Dr Michael Brooks

Getting Away From it All (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

A client of mine left me a voicemail that I should call her right away. I called her back, and she unloaded about all of her husband’s faults. Most were minor, but the one that caught my attention was when she said that he was married to his work. She said that he brought his work home and would work at the kitchen table while eating dinner with the family; he brought it into the bedroom (laying in bed while working on the computer late at night) he even brought it up while they were sitting in church! “We have no marriage whatsoever!” she said.
To continue reading this article go to the link below:

http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/2018/08/getting-away-from-it-all-1-by-dr-michael-brooks/

Find time for your family, leave your work at work, and focus on them!

Is Separating a Good Thing (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Is Separating a Good Thing? (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

So what are the benefits of a trial separation? I think this is a great question and one that may open the eyes of those considering a trial separation. So, here we go, my thoughts. This gives you some time to cool off and decide if you want a divorce. It also helps you logically think about your next steps. It can help you look deep into your heart to see if you need to work on some of the issues in your marriage. It can save you from rushing off to a lawyer and spending a lot of money on something your just not sure about. A trial separation can help you focus on what needs to be repaired in your relationship with your spouse. If you have things that were causing some problems in your relationship, use this time to fix those problems, get some help from a counselor/coach who can direct you to understand why you do the things you do.

So, you may ask what are the bad things about a trial separation? Well, the ones that stick out in my mind are: You both are responsible for any financial expenses. So, let’s say that your spouse decides to buy a boat, guess what you are responsible for that boat during your trial separation. Another one but I doubt this would happen is if one of you wins Powerball during this time, the other half of you is entitled to half the winnings. Keep in mind the benefits of counseling/coaching are very important. You both need skills in communication and learning how to compromise with each other. Take full advantage of learning how to help each other during this time.

I had a client whose husband came home after work one evening and demanded that he wanted a separation, she was shocked! She had been thinking about asking for one as well and was actually relieved he asked for one first. He was angry, he kept his feelings to himself, on the other hand, she spoke with her close friends, and they listened to her share her feelings. She didn’t want any advice but just wanted her friends to listen. She said that her time away from her husband was so healing for her. Let’s face it they didn’t like each other and had time to cool off. That’s whats needed during the trial separation. A cooling off period for both people in the relationship. She said that she needed this time to figure out what her next steps were. After a while, she started to miss her husband, and he missed her. That’s where the healing starts to take place. Avoid being together during this time.

When your ready to start seeing each other again, if you have kids do something with the entire family, go slow and if you are comfortable with this type of date then do something together without the kids. Go on a grown-up date, go out to a movie, out to dinner, for a walk, just have some fun together. Remember start with baby steps, don’t rush into anything, take your time.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Is Separating A Good Thing? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Is Separating a Good Thing? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

This is a tough question, and for many married couples who are struggling in a bad marriage, it’s one they ask themselves over and over again, “should we separate?” For some men and women, separation needs to happen for their sanity and for safety reasons to protect themselves and their children. For others, it’s just an excuse to end a relationship on their terms.

Are you considering a divorce or separation?

I can remember a man I knew who was wondering if a separation was something he needed to get his wife’s attention. I asked him what the purpose of it was? He said calmly, she’s checked out and I don’t see any movement on her part to be a part of this relationship. So, I am asking her to leave and think about what it is that she wants for her and our marriage. I am the one who pays all the bills, and she takes care of our kids. I honestly believe that she is seeing someone while I’m at work. Do you have proof I asked? No, I don’t, but she is not able to connect with me at all and trying to have a conversation with her is near impossible.

I asked him what is the purpose of planning a separation from your wife, what do you expect from her and how will she respond? I haven’t a clue he said, all I want is my wife to start being a wife and not a roommate. I provide for this family; I work hard for what we have. I get no thank you from her, and what makes matters worse, she doesn’t have to work whatsoever, she’s a very lucky woman. Do you acknowledge her as your wife and a mother to your children? Well, I sometimes do. I think recognizing her for all that she does around your home would go a long way in rebuilding your relationship with her. Some people need words of affirmation and to be noticed for what they do. We all need that for a healthy relationship. Can you do that I asked him? I suppose I can, do you think it’s worth it. Yes, I said.

Are you willing to hold off on your separation to see if you can at least jump start your marriage? He said he was and then put his trial separation on hold. I feel that his wife needed some form of recognition for all the work she had done to take care of the kids and be there for everyone. He started doing that, and amazing things began to happen. She started to open up, and he listened to her share the things that were in her heart. This my friends is just what she needed. Someone to appreciate who she was a mother and a wife.

Do you feel frustrated about your failing marriage or relationship? Do you need help in saving your marriage and family from divorce? Do you have a spouse or partner who isn’t communicating with you and you want it restored? Do you want help in learning good communication skills? Are you the partner who wants to end your relationship because it’s unhealthy? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. If you need help.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype (if you want to Skype with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!