What’s The Best Chapter In Your Life (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I was walking out to the chicken coop to take care of our livestock when I heard the radio in the coop playing a county song. I just caught a portion of it “what’s the best chapter in your book.” Then I thought wow, that gives me an idea on how to look at our lives through the chapters in our lives. We have a rich plethora of life’s greatest memories stashed away in the back of our minds and don’t even know it. What are some of those life’s experiences hidden in our minds? Thought provoking isn’t it?

I hear many people share some of their great experiences in all kinds of settings. The smiles, laughter and maybe some embarrassment it may bring. I see the giggles and grins, them staring off into space maybe reliving a memory they haven’t thought about in years. Just the thought of looking back at the best chapter in your life can bring healing to so many. I know I have done it when I have missed my parents. I think about our travels as a family in Germany or the vacations we used to take up to Minnesota. It’s a great mind getaway when I think about the great chapters in my life.

I can remember when I spoke with a friend of mine who shared some wonderful insights and memories of his wife who passed several years earlier. As he shared with me, he would look off into the distance and recount some of the things they did together. As he wiped his eyes thinking about her he said out loud, “Boy, I haven’t thought about our first meeting in years.” He shared how they met in high school at a football game. He said it was love at first sight, he knew that she was the one for him. For most of us, relationships are the number one “best chapters in our Life.”

For some of you, you’re still waiting for that best chapter in your life to happen. For others they can’t seem to find anything good about their best chapter in their lives and focus on the negatives. For others there are so many great experiences that you can’t seem to find one that would top that list.

I want to encourage you that if you are struggling with finding a great chapter in your life, do something about it. Start getting involved in other people’s lives. Try to make a difference in yours by being a part of their lives. Start creating good memories by getting out of the house or finding new healthy friends. The key to being happy with your life or situation is moving forward. If you’re expecting people to make you happy, don’t bother. It will never happen. You have to be the architect to create the happiness in your own life.

Do you have regrets looking back and would like to mend fences with a family member or friend and need help in making that happen?? Would you like to set a new course for your life and need help? If you answered yes to any of these questions please Dr. Mike a call he can help you make changes in your life.

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: https://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

When Women Say They Want A Divorce (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Today we are wrapping up the “When Women Say They Want A Divorce.” I hope this has helped you women and men. Keep in mind that most women if they could have that great marriage with their husbands they would. They wouldn’t walk away but fight to save it if they knew there was hope. But wives need to see changes in bad behavior from their husbands and want to feel loved and needed. Let’s move on with the rest of the article.

Physical or mental abuse, physical abuse is the one area that causes me great concern. There is no reason for anyone to hit each other. If that happens you contact your local police or sheriff s office immediately. Get out of the situation and get help for yourself. Same as mental abuse..threatening you in any way is wrong and needs to be reported. If you have kids in the home you don’t want them to see or hear the abuse you’re getting from your husband. If your children are getting physically or verbally abused then by all means protect your children from this type of behavior. There are places that can help you in your area. Contact your local authorities for help immediately.

Loss of love, women need to know that they are loved, needed and wanted in the marriage relationship. If you men are not providing that no wonder women feel the loss of love and want out of the marriage. Husbands, I use the book “The 5 Love Languages” to help men reestablish a love your wife needs in her marriage to you. If you men need help in learning how to be a healthy and loving man for your wife, call me. I work with many men in this area. You can restore that loving feeling in your marriage if you’re willing to. Wives have your man call me as well if you feel he needs help in this area.

Not meeting family obligations, this one I deal with more and more each year. When a woman feels she is the sole provider for the family while you (the husband) claim to be looking for work or looking for the perfect job there is gonna be issues to deal with. I had a woman client whose new husband of 8 months claimed that he was looking for work while she was at a full time job. One day she came home early to find him playing games on his play station. She confronted him and he said he wasn’t all that interested in finding work because the job market was bad and he was waiting for his old job to open up. She pleaded her case asking him to get any job because they weren’t bringing in enough money to pay their bills, and it was putting her under a lot of stress. She felt like she was raising an adult kid. She warned him about his dishonesty and threatened to leave him. He did nothing and they are now divorced. Men if you’re looking for that perfect job don’t wait…get a job now. Wait on tables, flip burgers, try to take of the stress off your wife and get a job. Finances is an area women worry about if you don’t do anything about it, you may get served papers.

In closing when a women says she is considering or wanting a divorce. I can promise you that most if not all women have contemplated getting a divorce over a period of time. Of all the women that I have worked with over the years I have never had one say “I am doing this on the spur of the moment.”
Men if you can head off a divorce by all means do it. Most women don’t want a divorce they just need to be loved, respected, desired and wanted. If you can do these things and add building better communication you can repair your relationship. If you’re sitting around and waiting for things to get better without your participation…good luck you’ll be another statistic in the rolls of divorced men.

Do you feel that your husband doesn’t care about your marriage and you want out? Are you constantly asking your husband to sit down and talk with you and he shows no interest? Do you want a divorce but want to give him one more try? Is divorce your best option and you’re needing help in your next steps? Are you a husband whose been told “I want a divorce” and you want to save your marriage? Do you and your wife want to give it one more try and need help working on your marriage? If you answered yes to any of these questions contact Dr. Mike he can help you sort things out.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call at 303.456.0555! You’ll be glad you did!

If you’re trying to save your marriage then knowing how to use the auto responder is key. This can be a challenge because out of our pain and the feeling of hopelessness we can say and do things we will regret. I want to caution you and I am speaking to the person who is trying to save their marriage alone. You may be tempted to get even with hurtful words but I am telling you don’t speak negatively or in a condescending way towards your partner. That behavior needs to stop immediately. Your auto responder should be to avoid snarky comments and learn to talk things out in an adult way. That will start to promote healing between you both.  Again,  I want to applaud you for wanting to work on and save your marriage. Secondly, if your marriage has been based on you putting your spouse down they will need to see that you no longer use this to hurt them and will need time and space to heal during your time of separation. They need to see that you no longer use snarky comebacks.



Here are my tips for those of you who want to save their marriage and need to have auto responders.



·         If you have been the one who finds fault with your spouse then you need to stop and ask for forgiveness for your behavior and listen to what they have to say. Auto responders don’t always have to say something in return. In some cases your auto responder might be “saying nothing at all” this can be very healing to the other person.

·         Auto responders listen to what is being said. Sometimes this opens the doors to real communication. Again, you don’t always need to respond to what is being said. Listening is important in repairing relationships.

·         If your spouse is angry at you and for something you did, your auto response should be “accepting full responsibility for your actions.” Auto responses should always be done with respect and truth. I can appreciate it when someone confesses and admits they have messed up and makes no excuses for their actions. They own up to it.

·         If you both need to get help, don’t wait…get it immediately. You can learn how to communicate with counseling/coaching. Learn to put your auto responders into place so you will  prevent further problems down the road.

If you need a counselor/Coach Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services can help you. We offer a great service Via Phone or Skype.

The next stop for auto responders is in the workplace. This is a place where auto responders can save your job and keep you out of trouble. Let me give you a good example of how auto responders work in the workplace.

Many people have lost everything by the way they respond to others. Marriages have ended because of mouthy comebacks. People have been murdered, injured, made lifetime enemies…just by responding with snarky or harmful comebacks. You don’t need to do that. Learn to use your auto responders wisely. They will keep you out of trouble. If you need help in learning on how to use auto responders call Dr. Mike.

Do you struggle with keeping quiet when you want so much to fire back with a snarky remark? Have you gotten yourself into trouble by the things you have said to others? Do you need to learn how to control what you say and how you say it? Have you lost friendships over some of the things you have said and want help in repairing those friendships? If you answered yes to any of these questions you can call Dr. Mike and get help. Call him at 303.456.0555 today!

What Are Your Auto Responders? (2) We have all probably received an “auto responder” which was sent to us automatically in reply to an email we sent. This tool is used, for example, to provide a confirmation email when you purchase tickets or merchandise from an online store. Today, we are picking up where we left off last week where we were discussing, how at times, we may be verbally assaulted or have our integrity questioned, and in the heat of the moment, say things we later regret, as in an auto responder. As an example, in your circle of friends, there may be a pecking order. Many times you will see a few horse playing around where some in the group will start picking on the quiet ones and tease them. Many times a remark may be said in jest but may be taken the wrong way by those to whom it was directed. Pushed too hard, look out! If this group doesn’t know how to control their auto responders, hurtful words will start to fly. In fact, they may say some things that may be extremely hurtful. Hard feelings will happen and the friendship becomes fractured, never to be the same. We all react to attacks or uncomfortable situations differently. Some of us become silent, while others are just itching for a verbal altercation. For me personally, I like to step back and size up what was said and why. I can do this in a matter of seconds. I have trained myself to “weigh what I say”. What is the point of throwing out some verbal jab when you have no intention of following up with another one? It just makes matters worse for you and it inflames the situation. Believe me, most of us have said something as a response that we wish we could take back, right? I remember sitting at a restaurant while waiting for my meal, when the couple sitting next to me began to argue. I didn’t hear the beginning of their conversation but I and everyone in the restaurant heard the end of it. As she stood up and threw her white napkin down on the table, obviously frustrated with him, she stammered, trying to find the right words to get him to stop and listen to her. All the while he was making snide remarks and laughing at her as they got up and left the restaurant. All she had to do to take control of the situation was use her auto responder to say what she had to say and then get up and leave. There is no point in debating with someone who is being disrespectful to you. Make sure they understand it a moot point to debate you while they are being disrespectful and then walk away. Auto responders can prevent arguments if you know how to use them effectively. Instead of arguing, try using your auto responder. For example, let’s say you have someone who wants to argue with you and you simply don’t want to go there. Simply say “I’m sorry but I don’t want to argue, I’m having a great day and want to keep it that way.” Or, “Nope, I’m not going there, got to go.” There are many ways you to prevent an argument. Just make sure that you have an auto responder ready before you need it. Don’t incite someone wanting to debate or argue with you. Simply walk away. Many people have lost everything by the way they respond to others. Marriages have ended because of the way one or the other shoots off at their mouth. People have been murdered, injured and have made lifetime enemies just by responding with rude or smartelic comebacks. You don’t need to do that. Learn to use your auto responders wisely. They will keep you out of trouble. If you need help in learning on how to use auto responders call Dr. Mike. Do you struggle with keeping quiet when you want so much to fire back with a harsh remark? Have you gotten yourself into trouble by the things you have said to others? Do you need to learn how to control what you say and how you say it? Have you lost friendships over some of the things you have said and want help in repairing those friendships? If you answered yes to any of these questions you need to call Dr. Mike! Call him at 303.456.0555 today!

No one’s going to respect you till you respect yourself (4) Here are some tips on how to show respect towards others and gain the confidence of a spouse, family member or friend while doing it. Remember this is an area we all need to work on. · Show gratitude to others. Thank them for helping or assisting you on a regular basis. People like to know they are appreciated. You can thank them by a phone call, e-mail, texts. That is showing respect towards others by thanking them. · Try to look at other peoples perspectives. We all have opinions and different idea’s listen to what is being said, that shows respect. · Don’t judge people before you really know them. Don’t jump to conclusions or attack them personally. We all have to respect each other. · If you can’t say anything nice about someone, then don’t say anything. Be respectful towards everyone you meet or come into contact with. · Don’t gossip, be respectful and keep quiet about people you may not agree with or not like. · Respect yourself, hang around people that are better then you are. If you have people in your life that tear you down, then get better people in your life. Avoid self-destructive behaviors. If you drink too much then get help. If self-discipline is an area you need help then get help. · Show respect for your personal time and the time of others. If you say you’re going to do something do it! Respect the times of your family, friends business acquaintances. If you have an appointment with someone be on time, that shows respect for the people you’re meeting with. These are just a few tips that can help you learn how to respect yourself and others. Your words reflect on who you are and how you treat others. So make an effort on being sensitive to others emotions and what you say and do. We all want to be treated with respect. Remember someone is always watching you from afar. Do you have a hard time respecting others at home, work or with your friends? Do you feel disrespected at home by your spouse or children? Do you feel disrespected at work and want help in stopping it? If you answered yes to any of these questions give dr Mike a call today he can help you!

No one’s going to respect you till you respect yourself (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks What does respect mean in your everyday relationships? What do you think it means with your spouse and children? According to Urban Dictionary Respect: means valuing each other’s points of views. It means being open to being wrong. It means accepting people as they are. It means not dumping on someone because you’re having a bad day. It means being polite and kind always, because being kind to people is not negotiable. It means not dissing people because they’re different to you. It means not gossiping about people or spreading lies. In my opinion we are lacking respect for each other in today’s world. I see it every day as you do. We see it in each other, in our youth of today, at work, at the mall, at the grocery store and even when you’re driving. It’s all over the place. We are a society out of control. I had a client a few years back who punished the women he dated. He could be wonderful and caring to the women he dated but cruel and hurtful if they didn’t show him attention or focus entirely on him. He went from girlfriend to girlfriend not having a clue as to why they ended their short dating relationship with him. The longest time he has dated someone was 3 months. He stopped by the office one day and wanted to talk. He didn’t understand why he went from woman to woman and was not in a healthy lasting relationship. I asked him “Are you healthy for these women?” He looked at me like I was crazy! I asked him again, “Are you healthy to be in a relationship with these women?” He responded, “Well of course I am, why do you ask?” I looked at him and thought to myself, this man had no clue on how disrespectful he was to the women he dated. He would let them know how they needed to treat him. He put everything into the relationship and if it wasn’t going the way he thought it should he would say and do things to get a reaction from them. More often than not it would backfire on him and the woman would end the relationship right on the spot. My client would never admit he was wrong by his behavior to these women. A few of these ladies he dated would get a lecture from him about how they should lose some weight if they wanted to remain dating him. How do you think that went over? Like a lead balloon. I think it’s extremely important on how we treat people with our words and actions. So be careful with what you say and how you say it. Respect starts with you. Next week we will be looking at some of the things you say may be hurtful to others without you ever knowing it. Do you have a hard time respecting others at home, work or with your friends? Do you feel disrespected at home by your spouse or children? Do you feel disrespected at work and want help in stopping it? If you answered yes to any of these questions give dr Mike a call today he can help you!