Cell Phones and the Death of Relationships!

Cell Phones and the Death of Relationships By Dr. Michael Brooks

I went to a fast food restaurant and was having lunch with a friend of mine last week, when suddenly several junior high kids rushed in and sat at the vacant tables surrounding my friend and I. The kids took out their cell phones from their backpacks and began to text each other in the restaurant. They were showing each other some of the pictures they had on their cell phones. The older boys went off to the side, looking at some questionable material on their phones. I could tell by the way some of the boys had their hands cupped over their mouths while looking at the one boy’s cell phone while others were laughing and saying play it over again. The girls were in their group looking and sharing what they had on their phones. They were giggling and laughing while looking at their friend’s phones. I began to think, so much for sit down lunches and making new friends.

Internet and social networks replace live communication with family and friends.

Can you believe that this seems to be a hot topic in today’s culture and around the world today? If you think about it, parents use electronics for babysitting their kids; teens use them to connect with other teens, and adults use them to kill time while waiting for work, waiting for the kids, or just to humor themselves.

Let’s look at the pre-era of cell phones, electronics, and family connections. I can remember when we sat around the dinner table and actually talked to each other. My parents would have classical music playing in the background (to give us culture, my mom would say) as we ate. I wasn’t crazy about that kind of music, but at least it was something to listen to. The four of us kids would share around the dinner table with our parents what our day was like at school, the kids we played with, and things we wanted to do on the weekends. I have fond memories of many of those talks. My dad and mom would show interest in our daily lives. They’d help us with our homework; they’d sit and listen to us about the concerns we had. I know it was a different time, but I see the disconnect between parents and children, teachers and students, and even kids to kids in today’s family and society. I often wonder what’s going to happen to the families that allow electronics to control most of the communication within the family?

I have talked to Baby Boomers who feel that the 1950’s and 1960’s were the start of the decline of the family and the rise of the electronic revolution. For many of us, TV dinners were the rage. You watched TV together on TV trays; nobody talked to each other, and all eyes were glued to the TV. It was a convenience for mom to put the frozen TV dinners into the oven for everyone and not prepare full-blown meals. We were captivated by Ed Sullivan, Mister Ed, I love Lucy, and Howdy Doody. What used to be on early television in the 1940’s was news and other broadcasts. Then popular radio shows transitioned into television shows in the 1950’s. Then in the mid-1950’s is when some families started watching TV for the first time. In the 1960’s is when most American families had television sets in their homes. This is a short history lesson on the advancement of electronics and the decline of the family.

Today most people have a cell phone or I-pad that has replaced the TV, and it’s carried around in backpacks, on your person, in the classroom, at the dinner table, and at the workplace.

Next week, I will continue on with how electronics are being abused in the family, at school, and with friends.

Do you feel frustrated about your family’s use of electronics? Have you given up trying to get the kids off their cell phones? Do you want to save your family from electronics but don’t know what your next steps are? Do you want to improve your communication with your family at the dinner table and need help in putting boundaries on all electronics? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you need to contact Dr. Mike and set up an appointment. Don’t allow hopelessness to destroy your relationship. Please call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878. He can help you. He has helped several people going through tough times.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and life coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Zoom (if you want to Zoom with Dr. Mike send him an email at mbrooks3353@gmail.com to set up an appointment). The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of Colorado.

No One’s Going to Respect You Till You Respect Yourself

No one’s going to respect you till you respect yourself

By Dr. Michael Brooks

I asked my client at one of our meetings..”Do you respect yourself?” He responded by saying ya, I do. I am a fun loving guy who is good-looking and has a nice job. I have a lot to offer any woman I date. She’s getting a great deal when she dates me. “So, yes, I respect myself.”

It was several weeks before I heard from him, then out of the blue, I got a call, and he was crying over the phone and really upset. He stopped by and shared that he was in love with a wonderful woman and she broke up with him! He said that she was everything he wanted in a potential marriage partner. She was caring, compassionate, understanding, loving, kind, and fun to be with. They did all kinds of things together, concerts, hiking, dances, and eating out. They had great talks and were madly in love. So I asked him what happened.

Well, he said. When I first met her, she had a great figure (a former NFL cheerleader). As we dated, I noticed that she was putting some weight on, and I mentioned to her that she should start exercising to lose weight. I like my women just the right size, he told her. She stood up, looked at him, and said, “really,” and walked right out of his life right then and there. He was shocked and thought that they had a great relationship, so why would she want to end it? He cried as he shared this story. He wanted her back and didn’t know what to do.

Then a light bulb went on after we had met several times. He now realized how he mistreated all the women he dated. He said to me, “how can I show respect to anyone when I have no respect for myself?”

He hit rock bottom really fast. As he talked, he opened up about the deep hurts he had in his life. He was a macho man on the outside but deeply wounded on the inside. He wanted people to think he was in full control when he actually wasn’t. People thought he had it together when they were around him, but internally he was mush.

He wanted so bad to get back together with this woman, he wept as he sat in my office during each visit. He was crushed and started to see how much of his behavior had caused this break-up. I asked him what did he do when she broke off their relationship. I reacted in a harsh way! I sent her texts and e-mails scolding her and chastising her. I attacked her, her family, and her work. I was awful in my treatment of her. Then I would text her and tell her how much I loved her and wanted her back. She must have thought I was a nut case.

When your true actions reveal the real intent of who you are, you’re headed in for some real hard times. If you are knowingly doing things out of disrespect, then stop now and get help before you do too much damage. Next week we will continue this story and what my client needed to do to get help for his disrespecting others.

Do you have a hard time respecting others at home, at work, or with your friends? Do you feel disrespected at home by your spouse or children? Do you feel disrespected at work and want help in stopping it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, give dr Mike a call today he can help you!

What’s The One Regret That You Have? (1) By Dr. Michael Brooks

What’s The One Regret That You Have? (1)

By Dr. Michael Brooks

I’m sure many of us live with regrets from the past, maybe from your childhood, teens, or even as an adult. I can look back on several regrets throughout my lifetime. I could have been a better son, father, friend, or relative. Some of the choices that I’ve made, and there are many, I would put in the category of big-time regrets.

How many can you look back in your life and know you didn’t do the right thing? Maybe you forgot a promise you made or intentionally told someone that you would help them and had no intentions of doing so. My point in this article is not to make you feel bad but to deal with your regrets that you can’t let go of. I have had many clients who live in the past and can’t let go.

I had one woman client who neglected her mother when she was extremely ill; she lived her life for her family while her mother struggled with her health. The mother would call and ask her daughter if she could help get groceries and prescriptions filled. The mother would leave voice mails asking for her daughters’ help. Then one day, the calls stopped, and she heard nothing from her mother for days. Out of curiosity, she stopped by her mother’s small apartment and went in to check on her mother. She was shocked to see that the apartment complex maintenance men were cleaning out her mother’s apartment. She asked the cleaning crew what was going on.

The daughter said that one of the cleaning guys said that an old woman that lived there had died. She was stunned and started to cry. As she walked away, the cleaning guy asked her, did you know the old lady that lived there? She continued to walk away.

When we met, she was so racked with guilt and what she had done to her mother. Could this regret have been prevented? Of course, it could have. She said that her mom was a great parent, but her husband didn’t like her mom. So, she decided to cut off seeing her mom because of her husband’s dislike of her mom. My client hated herself, and eventually, she got divorced. She continually struggles with this giant of regret.

Next week we will continue this article about the regrets we face every day and how to deal with them.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Zoom. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Cell: 303.880.9878

What A Divorce Coach Can Do For You! By Dr. Michael Brooks

Did you know that most attorneys are not trained to act as Counselors or Divorce Coaches and cannot provide the proper emotional support that their clients need? As a result, the attorney and client spend hours discussing the emotional aspects of divorce and the client ends up paying a large bill and receives little more than a shoulder to cry on. Attorneys want to help you with the legal aspects of your divorce, not to be your Divorce coach or counselor. That’s not their job!

Many of my clients come to me with little or no energy left to accomplish what they want out of life (life’s battles). They say that there always seems to be a mountain to climb (major problem), and for others, a wall (major disaster) to run into. Does this sound familiar?

Divorce Coaching offers structure and holds clients responsible for assuming a proactive role. A Coach may recommend material for clients to read, work on, or refer to for future use. Clients can benefit by working with a Coach in setting realistic expectations for the process and receiving education about the options available for divorce. Being informed and prepared helps clients make important decisions with confidence. Guiding clients in clarifying their thoughts, needs, and concerns, in order to communicate more effectively, is another important function of the Coach. Clear, purposeful, and rational communication helps to ease tension and foster understanding between spouses, as well as parents and children.

Much like any crisis or trauma, the early emotions of a pending divorce include shock, disbelief, denial, anger, and the pain associated with the loss. Once the early emotions have been experienced, there is a need for people going through a divorce to make sure they continue to take the necessary steps in moving toward recovery. As with any significant loss that involves a meaningful relationship, divorce can lead someone to a place of anger, bitterness, and lonely despair. Dr. Mike will walk you through the critical role of forgiveness in divorce recovery. Especially when it comes to wrestling with issues, like trying to prove who’s right or wanting to get even.

In addition, many divorcing couples wind up in the traditional litigation route because they are reacting to fear, anger, and a desire for getting even and are not thinking about what will happen once the divorce battle has ended.

After the grief process has run its course, divorced men and women must begin to consider their next steps in getting back to a healthy level of functioning. While this may not necessarily mean starting a new romance there is a need to take stock and evaluate relationships with family members and friends.

Part of building a new life is the acceptance of having been divorced. There are key issues in starting over, these include the need to avoid a victim mindset, having a balanced life and building self-esteem, and considering the future in terms of family, jobs, and finances.

After the grief process has run its course, divorced men and women must begin to consider their next steps in getting back to a healthy level of functioning. While this may not necessarily mean starting a new romance there is a need to take stock and evaluate relationships with family members and friends.

Did you know that…
Americans divorce more than any country in the history of the world.
The divorce rate has increased in the U.S. every decade since 1890.

Dynamics of Divorce Coaching:
Delayed and later-life marriages are the norm for society today.
Divorce is often a lengthy process that can last for years.
The person who often seeks divorce coaching is the one who did not initiate the divorce proceedings.
Divorce coaches help repair and rebuild a life.
How the biological parents dealt with divorce literally determined the future of their sons and daughters.

What Divorce Coaching will do for you:
Help you manage the early emotions.
Move you towards acceptance.
Process the grief and loss.
Understand the grief cycle.
Do’s and don’t’s in your divorce.
Forgiveness and letting go.
Building a new life.
The Five Keys to starting over.
Barriers to new relationships.
Finding new relationships.
Now what? Living in a blended family.

Are you in the process of Divorce? Do you have a relationship that isn’t working, or that you want to improve and work on? Is your marriage in trouble, and is there still hope of reconciliation? Or do you need to end an unhealthy relationship? If you answered yes to any of these, I can help you as a Divorce Coach. You can call Dr. Mike at 303.880.9878 if you have any questions.

Avoid The Wrong Kind of People (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Avoid the Wrong Kind of People (5) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Growing up while in high school, I had a friend who always had the best clothes, watches, and pens. He had a lot of nice stuff. One day he asked me if I wanted a new watch. I said sure. He brought it the next day and handed it to me. I looked at the watch still inside the box with a price tag of $49.00. I asked him where did he get it, and he responded with “a five-finger discount.” I looked at him and said, “you stole it?” Yep, he responded. I handed it back to him and said, no thanks! I made my mind up, right then and there, he wasn’t going to be a friend of mine. My gut feeling told me to avoid this wrong kind of person. That’s the small little voice you often hear warning you about these kinds of people. Avoid, avoid, avoid! That should be what you hear when someone is wrong for you.

How about bad relationships that people get themselves into and know are wrong. This is a big problem for both men and women. I have a friend who is in a very unhealthy relationship. The woman he is dating will not commit to their relationship. When my friend asked her what concerns she had, she expressed all kinds. Her job was demanding, not have enough time for herself, she liked to party alone, and the big one she brought up was his old girlfriends. He never talked about his old girlfriends with her. This was just out of the blue and took him by surprise. There wasn’t any commitment on her part, and he should have said to himself, time to move along and stop being with the wrong person. He still hangs on to see if they can have that relationship he wants with her. I think he will never get that relationship he wants with her.

You can see the pattern of a very unhealthy person and one that you should avoid. Relationships in themselves are great if you have a healthy person in your life. The relationships that are based on alcohol, drugs, and sex are doomed to fail and lead you down the road to destruction. If you’re in a relationship that is full of drama either by you or the person you’re in a relationship with, it’s time to end it. Be done with it, move on and plan ahead. Time and energy should be used to have a great relationship and not one that’s causing you to lose sleepover. Here are the things you need in a healthy committed relationship.

  • Trustworthy
  • Integrity
  • Good listener
  • Good communicator
  • Understanding
  • Slow to anger
  • Spends time with you
  • Affirms you
  • Does things for you

If you’re dealing with an unhealthy relationship, then get some help in making a wise decision to either work on it or move on with your life. You can make any relationship work if both parties are willing to sit down and talk. If the other person isn’t willing to talk with you, then I think you know what you have to do. It’s not difficult my friends. It just takes the guts to make it happen.

Are you afraid to confront the wrong kind of people in your life? Are you involved in the wrong kind of relationship and need help getting out of it? Do you have friends who are involved with drugs, and alcohol and want you to join them, and you can’t say NO? Would you like a plan that can help you eliminate the wrong kind of people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and plan your next steps at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

Avoid The Wrong Kind of People (4) By dr. Michael Brooks

Avoid the Wrong Kind of People (4) By Dr. Michael Brooks

I knew a lady that had an addiction to alcohol; she was always drunk or hungover. I watched her as her life started to spin out of control, and she was headed for some serious trouble. Her husband gave her an ultimatum, “stop your drinking or get out.” He and the kids had enough of her drinking. She had a revelation and knew that if she continued to drink with her drinking buddies, she would lose her family and possibly her life.

I ran into her at the grocery store a while back and was surprised to find her sober. She told me she had stopped drinking and had been dry for over two months. I said that was amazing, and how did she do it? Her answer blew me away. She said that she had to “avoid the wrong kind people” in her life and find friends that were healthy and good for her. She did it, and so can you. If you feel that some of your friends are leading you down the path of destruction of your family, health, finances, and sanity, then avoid these “wrong kind of people.”

I’m pretty sure that you know which people are good for you and ones that aren’t. I feel it’s best just to dump the old friends that are the wrong kind of people and find new healthy friends. Don’t fall into the trap that people will not like you because you have done some bad stuff in your past. Healthy people will lift you up and be the right kind of person for you.

Look for these traits in good and healthy people.

  • Friends who will stand beside you when your world is falling apart
  • Someone who will be able to give good sound advice when needed
  • Someone who will not judge you for your past
  • Someone who will encourage you
  • Someone who will be a part of your life and make you feel a part of theirs
  • Someone who will love you unconditionally
  • People that will laugh with you and make you feel good inside
  • People who will not allow you to play the victim card
  • People that will keep you accountable
  • Someone that is uplifting

These are the kinds of healthy people you want in your and your family’s life. Is it worth it to regain control of your life and fight for the lifestyle that you need and your family? Absolutely! There is a price to pay if you don’t heed the advice of “avoiding the wrong kind of people.” Your life can be miserable and unrewarding. You control what happens in your life and are accountable for your actions. Did you know that? You can’t blame others for your problems when you knowingly hang around the wrong kind of people.

Next week we will discover how to deal with the wrong people in your life and how to look out for the warning signs of getting into a bad relationship.

Are you afraid to confront the wrong kind of people in your life? Are you involved in a wrong kind of relationship and need help getting out of it? Do you have friends who are involved with drugs or alcohol and want you to join them, and you can’t say NO? Would you like a plan that can help you eliminate the wrong kind of people in your life? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then contact Dr. Mike for personal help and planning your next steps at 303.880.9878.

Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous, and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!

Dr. Michael Brooks
Applicable Counseling & Coaching Services
Web: www.applicablecoaching.com
Blog: http://applicablecoaching.com/blog.php
Web: http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/
Blog:http://idontwantthisdivorce.com/blog/
E-mail: mike@applicablecoaching.com
Office: 303.456.0555
Cell: 303.880.9878

Avoid The Wrong Kind of People (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks

Avoid the Wrong Kind of People (3) By Dr. Michael Brooks I have a simple rule that I use when I hear someone gossiping about people. A helpful acronym that you can use when wondering if you should spread a certain piece of information is T.H.I.N.K. Ask yourself the following questions? Are you spreading gossip and why? What will happen if the person you gossiped about confronts you? Is it worth losing a friendship over something that should remain private and you shared?


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