Betrayal X’s Two Equals Devastation By Karen Hill

After sixteen years of marriage, I learned my husband was having an affair with my best friend. The stunning revelation didn’t come from him but rather from her husband. The shock went through me like a lightning bolt. Evidently, this affair had been going on for a long period of time without my knowledge. When my husband came home from work I wanted to talk about the affair…how did it happen…why did it happen? His answer was he didn’t know why it happened. That was very unsettling to me and, of course, I was afraid it would happen again. My husband and I had two young daughters at the time and I wanted to protect them. I didn’t tell a sole about the affair.

I was too ashamed and felt I had done something horribly wrong in our marriage. We had what I thought was a good marriage. We had become comfortable with our lives, socialized with friends and family, and were basically compatible. It was the type of marriage that Cathy Meyer ( calls a ‘low conflict’ marriage. We had settled into our routines, rarely argued, and, I thought we were a normal family. I wanted to trust my husband and create a better marriage but it seemed to be taking a very long time. I had no one to talk to. I had obviously severed ties with my friend but occasionally saw her at an event or out shopping. Each encounter was horribly awkward and painful. Seven years later my husband went to our home and cleaned out his belongings while I was at work. I had to deal with a new reality…my husband left the family and we divorced. When my children were grown I moved away to get better work and start a new life. Yet for 33 years I carried anger and pain with me. Both my husband and I had remarried and our children were grown. My friend and her husband saved their marriage. I occasionally received news of her from mutual friends. Every time I heard her name I felt myself becoming tense.

Recently I saw a picture of her on Facebook and old memories returned. These were memories of our early friendship when we were younger. I remembered the family trips we shared and the fun times we had together. I decided at that moment I was finished with the grudges and sent her a Facebook message. She was very gracious in her return message. We have since connected by phone and in person. The burden has been lifted from me and probably also her. We both shed a few tears. Today I’m finding that life is much more pleasant without avoidance and resentment. Reconciliation has lifted a huge burden from my shoulders and I am thankful. Does this article ring true in your life or in the life of someone you know is hurting? If so, please contact me and we can talk about it. All calls are confidential and the first call is a free 30-minute consultation.

I would like to add that Karen Hill is an associate of Applicable Counseling and Coaching Services. Karen Hill Life Coach 812.205.253 812.204.0475 Adultery Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Counseling and Coaching Services. It is affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of Counseling/Coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching for those who live outside of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!