I can remember talking with a client of mine as she shared heartache and pain. She needed time to vent and weep. She said that she was so lonely and just needed somebody anybody to listen to her. She was married but it was a lonely and loveless marriage. Her tears flowed as she spoke. Then, as she looked up at me she said, “I want to go home to be with the Lord. The loneliness is just too much for me.”
As I looked into her eyes, I could feel her pain. I, too, have experienced that kind of loneliness. I remember all too well, the pain I endured after an ugly divorce that I didn’t want. I was so lonely and felt abandoned by the person I loved with all of my heart. Many of us feel this kind of pain. I believe loneliness is one of the top issues many of us face. Unfortunately, we have no idea how to deal with the loneliness and often suffer alone. Loneliness can come in many forms. It can come from a broken marriage, a loveless marriage, the death of a loved one, or the ending of a friendship. There are many more I could list here!
Loneliness isn’t just an adult emotion. Children suffer from loneliness to. They miss their parents when they get divorced or separated. They can miss a sibling when they move out of the home. One who is prone to being lonely can carry this problem into adulthood. From my experience in dealing with and helping lonely people, one of the main issues with loneliness is the lack of healthy relationships. When you have healthy family and friend relationships you can usually get the tough times. When alone, people seem to dwell on being lonely.
Loneliness has other concerns that go along with it. Loneliness leads to desperation, desperation leads to hopelessness and very few can pull out of hopelessness. Many people have a tendency to think having a relationship with a television can help them with their loneliness. I have seen it time after time that people who are lonely do desperate things. They get involved in unhealthy relationships (one night stands) or they start drinking, etc. If you find yourself heading in this direction, ask for help!
What advice can I give you for getting past your loneliness? First of all, take back your life! Get control back that you have given away. Here are my tips!
- If you don’t have friends, start making some. Join clubs and activities that pique your interest. You’ll find like minded individuals that will result in friendships!
- Don’t dwell on the past! Your future starts today! Life in the present!
- Building relationships begin at home with family members. Next, go after your sphere of influence that include people you know outside your immediate family.
- If you have been recently divorced or separated it’s time to start looking ahead. Find new hobbies and do the things you have always wished you could.
- Get involved in church or a civic group! You will meet new people that way. New relationships start with you!
- Make sure that you find people that are like minded.
These are just a few tips and they work! I tried them and found a new world waiting for me. The hardest part was taking that first step.
Do you live in a world of loneliness and want help in getting out? Do you need a game plan for dealing with your loneliness? Are you tired of not being able to talk about your loneliness and figuring out what you need to do about it? If you answered yes to any of these questions, Dr. Mike can help you, give him a call today.
Dr. Michael Brooks is the founder of Applicable Life Coaching and Counseling Services. His services are affordable, accessible, anonymous and available by appointment from the privacy of your own home. To avoid travel time and the comfort of home, many clients prefer to meet with Dr. Mike over the phone or via Skype. The convenience of this type of coaching is the most effective means of Life Coaching and counseling for those who live out of the Denver-metro area. Give Dr. Mike a call! You’ll be glad you did!